Zero prep for the Draft?! No problem, this pod has it all! Nasty Lyle Wedding Info, Gut Dick Balls Top 10 and all the latest player updates that today's "media" won't tell you! Plus, the greatest Seahawks Quarterback you've never heard of!?!

Oh man, Zak and I have really done it now. We've UNLOCKED the vault that holds ESPN's SUPER SECRET PHINNECKY RANKINGS and are just reading them for everyone to hear! And we don't stop there! We also dive into secret documents that include which laws were voted into Phinnecky, which laws were drunkenly changed in Phinnecky on a whim, why is Zak in the car, what does the latest Madden'26 algorithm think happens to Lamar Jackson and, most importantly, WHAT IS THE SECRET OF ALEX SINGLETON?!

We don't trust rookies (Is Jeanty a bust?!), men with long hair are vampires and the #1 Fantasy Pick can't be a WR. Two Grumpy Old Men are kicking off the new season of Phinnecky and we're so old and tired we don't even know which season it is. 

Who nailed the NFL draft? Are the Thunder destined to win it all? What rookie QB is Bottom taking in the first round? Can the Blazers still snag Cooper Flagg?! This pod is all over the place and Bottom is the navigator. GOOD LUCK!

It's all projections vs production on this year's final mock draft. Maybe Zak outsmarts Cal on his own... maybe he needs ChatGPT. Click to find out!

Time to answer the age-old of question of whether an 8yr old can translate the infinite complexity of 2014's immaculate blockbuster DRAFT DAY into the modern era of draft analysis? Also, we talk "My Guys" and, maybe he did more research than me? I DONT KNOW HOW TO FEEL STOP PRESSURING ME. Jeeze, they grow up fast.

Will the Blazer's new Israeli Superstar, Deni Avdija, take the Blazers on a playoff run or straight to the mediocre middle where they've been since Dametime left? Also who is running the Fancy Gentleman's Club and which team is actually Bottom's?

Last minute chance to get bad advice on your brackets!

Not late but never early, Doctor Nasty and I dive into the history of the RW3 trade and how it brought us to Sam Darnold and Cooper Kupp just 3 years later. Also, we got drunk in Manhattan.

Hollywood Zak tells us why boobs beat out bishops and bumrape at the Oscars while the Commish breaks down which potential-NFL-dudes earned his "MY GUY" status at the NFL Combine. Also we may touch on latest with the Seahawks and whether DK really wants a trade or simply wants that #1 WR $$$.