Her: Where should we go on our first date?

Me: Let's go to a nice sunny park and have a picnic.

Her: Sounds great!

Me: They also have a petting zoo-type thing that's a pen full of Nazis you can beat the crap out of.

Her: Fun! You bring the sandwiches. I'll bring the bats.

Psst -- Don't forget to join Team Philogelos to be the first to hear my new songs and comedy, plus get a ton of behind the scenes and stuff from my vault.