At some point it's gonna happen. Will you be ready?

When I discovered that Weird Al was actually on the bill at the most eclectic festival lineup I'd ever seen ("I can see Agnostic Front and Weird Al on the same day?!?" was my initial response) I had to drop "Start a Pac-Man-related cult" from my bucket list to make room for "participate in a Weird Al pit."* This has been one of many situational exceptions I've had to make to my well-documented "Too Old For The Pit" rule. I made perhaps too many exceptions during the weekend of Riot Fest, as my ribs remain bruised (presumably from Sunday's Screeching Weasel prancings,) but I appear to have survived.

Highlights that I was unable to fit into the song:

1. A dude dressed as a banana in said pit

2. A dude dressed as Jesus in said pit (I told him "Hey! I read your book!")

3. Moshing to "Ricky." Seriously. "Ricky."

4. Watching Steve Jay and Jim West occasionally take photos of said pit

5. Watching a dude on the edge of said pit explain to his teenaged daughter the cardinal rule of "someone goes down, you help them up." Felt that in my soul.

Special thanks to Al, whose birthday is next week. And also to my wife, for encouraging me to go to this thing. And to MC Lars for absolving me of the inadvertent theft of his "damn, son" bit. And to Dr. Demento for the years upon years of support...it just hit me that this is the first song I've ever released that has NO chance whatsoever of being played on the Dr. Demento show. But damned if he didn't end the show strong as hell, and on his own terms. (Barry, if you're reading this, all the best in your retirement.)

* Apologies to anyone who has already converted their worldly posessions to tokens in anticipation of said cult. No refunds.

Music and Lyrics by Timothy F. Crist

Vocals / Programming / Arrangement / Keytar by Tim "Shoebox" Crist

Gang vocals by Luke Ski, Lindsay Smith, Tony Goldmark, Devo Spice, Steve Goodie, Chris Mezzolesta, and Insane Ian (who was there!)

Mixed and Mastered by Steve Goodie

Dr. Demento has been more than just my knight in shining armor...he was part of my origin story!

Bad Beth and Beyond: lead and backing vocals, bouzouki, bass guitar

Josh Paxton: piano

Stephen Randall: drums

Dr. Milo T. Pinkerton III: judge and plywood

Kirk St. James, Stephen Randall, and Jeannine Flores: jury

Recorded and mixed by Lewis D'Aubin at the COG Secret Lab, Harahan, LA

As I'm sure everyone who frequents this site already knows all too well, The Dr. Demento Show comes to an end this weekend after 55 glorious years of mad music and crazy comedy. And what better way to pay tribute to such a momentous finale than by attempting to recap the entire history of the good doctor's show - and thus, ostensibly the entire history of comedy music itself - into an eight-and-a-half-minute parody of Don McLean's classic rock staple "American Pie?" From the recently-released compilation album Fruits of the Smogberry Trees: The FuMP's Tribute to Dr. Demento, this song was a true labor of love. Barret Hansen, aka Dr. Demento, has enriched my life and livelihood far more than I can easily express, but this song was my attempt at expressing it anyway, and I hope you all enjoy it. Above all, don't you ever DARE forget to STAY DEEEEEEEEEEMENTED!!!!

A Parody of "American Pie" Written by Don McLean

Parody Lyrics by Tony Goldmark

Vocals and Mixing: Tony Goldmark

All Background Music: Jacob Martin

Group Vocals on Last Chorus: Rob Bergman, Mike Cisneros, Emily Clark, Susan "Sulu" Dubow, Robbie Ellis, Tyler Green, Chris "Dizman" Grice, Robert Lund, Charlotte Driftwood Marlowe, Jacob Martin, Beth Paxton, Kit Quinn, Dr. Sarcofiguy, Luke Ski, Garrett Smith, Joe J. Thomas and Gaby Tyrrell.

Annotated lyrics with links to the references!

Check out my my podcast!

And my YouTube channel!

And Jacob Martin's Bandcamp page!

Sometimes you just gotta vent for a minute.

Or, well, a minute and 12 seconds. ("Orwell." Ha.)

Perhaps you know the original. The parody was dreamed up (i.e., waking-nightmared up) by Spaff, and all the music and vocals were performed by Robert Lund. Both of whom, by the time you read this, will probably have been deported to Uganda. Hopefully the capital has an Abbey Road.

"All good things come to an end." I really despise that saying, but I'm afraid it's undeniable. And I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way as the Good Doctor (with the help of Jeff Morris) puts together his final two shows. The Doctor Demento Show has been a hugely important part of my life since I first tuned in back in the 1970s, under the covers on a Sunday night when I was supposed to be asleep. His devotion to all things musical and to all things silly had never been (and will never be) equaled. Thank you, Barret Hansen, for everything you've dedicated your life to.

And another thank you, Doctor, for playing (and premiering) this song as part of your penultimate broadcast on October 4, 2025. I didn't think I'd ever get another new song on your show, but you and Jeff squeezed this in, and I really appreciate it!

And speaking of Jeff... Jeff Morris kindly and patiently worked with me on this while in the midst of the busiest period imaginable. Huge thanks to you Jeff, for all you do in the name of deeeeeeeeeemented music!

Words, music, guitars, bass, drums, percussion, piano, vibes, mandolin, accordion, keyboards, vocals, arrangement, production: SG

String arrangement:Tim Lorsch and SG

Violins, viola, cello: Tim Lorsch

Invaluable suggestions and authentic voice-over: Jeff Morris

Cast of Lumanians saying "yeah" at the end: SG, Jeff Morris, Angel "Chuck" Gonzalez, Jace McLain, Susan "Sulu" Dubow

Inspiration: Barret Hansen

Parody of "Ordinary" by Alex Warren about a zombie apocalypse

Just a song about a humble wiener dog trying to do his best.

I Made It with Cartoon Characters (It's Weird but Not Atrocious)

(parody of "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" from Mary Poppins)

Music by The Sherman Brothers

New lyrics by Sulu

Special thanks to :

the great Luke Ski (the inspiration behind this song)

Christopher Bay

Jeff Morris (for technical and audio assistance)

Michael Lestatkatt (for technical and audio assistance)

Mike Kieffer

Steve Goodie (for sharing his stage with me, allowing me to debut the song in front of a live audience))

David Vasquez and Jeff Lewis at Moonlight Studios L.A. (production)

And last but not least: Dr. Demento (Beh)

I've always been a loyal fan of cartoon characters of the 1960s and '70s, and wondered what it would be like to have them be my friends. I always fantasized about jumping into an animation reel with them. Ha ha!

the great Luke Ski was always doing funny cartoon-related songs, which served as inspiration for me, as well as current movies and TV series about modern cartoon characters. I decided to spice up the lyrics and take my fantasy friendships up a notch!