Pieces of You

In today’s episode, we make a special announcement! We update you on developments in our lives and what the future of the podcast looks like.

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Forgiveness is a process that takes time, patience and emotional balance. Today we explore the boundaries around forgiveness and how to deal with them.

The first step in this process is to understand where you are emotionally. You need to be able to identify what feelings you are experiencing, what thoughts you are having, and how these emotions make you feel. For example, if your mother died from cancer but it was not your fault, then there may be some guilt or shame around your loss.

If you can't forgive yourself for something that's not your fault then try using radical responsibility as a way of dealing with this guilt or shame. Radical responsibility means acknowledging that we have no control over everything that happens in life and that we need to be compassionate with ourselves and our need to be perfect. It's about accepting the responsibility for our choices and actions, taking care of ourselves, and letting go of the need to control or change everything.

It is important to note that forgiveness is not forgetting what happened, but choosing not to allow the event to dictate how we live our lives and how we feel about ourselves.

In episode 12 of season 2 we explore and unpack the concept of forgiveness as a process. We discuss what it really means to forgive and why it can be so difficult. As always, you’ll hear some of our own stories of loss and forgiveness, as well as ideas for understanding and practicing forgiveness in your everyday life.

Resources:

Adams, B. (1993). Please Forgive Me. On So Far So Good. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7x8wPt8xarE

The Center for the Empowerment Dynamic, https://www.theempowermentdynamic.com/about

Henly, D. (1989). The Heart Of The Matter. On The End Of The Innocence. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_8NEKEZlQs

Kemp, C. (2019). Why Forgiveness is Unnecessary. TedXBearCreekPark. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uJ1n8iF4zs

Sutton, J. The Psychology of Forgiveness: 10+ Fascinating Research Findings. Positive Psychology. https://www.positivepsychology.com/psychology-of-forgiveness

00:00 Introduction

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Episode 11 of season 2 is all about children and grief. We get to speak with special guest Katie Eisold about her experience working with grieving children and families. We discuss the prevalence of grief in childhood and some of the different ways it can show up, along with ideas for supporting both grieving children and caregivers. We open up about our own experiences as grieving kids and teens, reminding others they are not alone, while also being careful to honor and recognize each person’s experience of loss as meaningful and unique.

Resources:

7 Types of Grief - whatsyourgrief.com/types-of-grief-2/ 

New York Life Foundation’s Bereavement Survey Findings - 

newyorklife.com/assets/foundation/docs/pdfs/survey_key_findings.pdf 

Dougy Center, The National Grief Center for Children & Families - Dougy.org 

National Alliance for Children’s Grief (NACG) - childrengrieve.org 

Brighter Days Family Grief Center (Minnesota) - brighterdaysgriefcenter.org 

She Climbs Mountains & Girls Rise Up (Minnesota) - www.sheclimbsmountains.org

Helping Children Deal with Grief - childmind.org/article/helping-children-deal-grief/

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In this episode we discuss many aspects of mothering without a mother. Each of us speak to

Some resources used for this episode are listed below:

Motherless Mothers by Hope Edelman

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In Season 2, Episode 9, Guest Nea DallaValle joins us for a conversation about empathy, knowing, intuition, and trusting ourselves. We discuss how the trauma of early mother loss impacts our trust in self. We also explore the idea that the newest generations are in touch with and reliant on their knowing and intuition in new and exceptional ways.

Resources:

Nea DallaValle, Yesologist, Transformational Life Coach, Life Mastery Teacher, Intuitive Guide

Instagram: @neaclarechannel

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In this episode, we discuss mother loss that happens later in life. All four of us hosts have only experienced early mother loss when we were children, and so this perspective is new for us. We explore our guest Karen’s mother loss as an adult. We talk about her dual parent loss, family dynamics, responsibilities of an adult child who has lost a parent, and her relationship with her own daughter throughout these experiences.

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In this episode our friends and widowers, Troy and Chris, share about their wives, their love stories, how their children have handled loss, and how they keep their wives' memories alive.

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In Season 2, Episode 6, we return to our archives and offer you an episode recorded last year in which we dive into the origins of Mother’s Day. We discuss celebrating Mother’s Day before and after the deaths of our moms, how some of us show up as both mothers and daughters, and our desire to reclaim Mother’s Day. We end by each of us gifting a message to our listeners.

Resources:

“The Mother” by Khalil Gibran

The most beautiful word on the lips of mankind is the word “Mother,” and the most beautiful call is the call of “My mother.” It is a word full of hope and love, a sweet and kind word coming from the depths of the heart. The mother is everything – she is our consolation in sorrow, our hope in misery, and our strength in weakness. She is the source of love, mercy, sympathy, and forgiveness….

Everything in nature bespeaks the mother. The sun is the mother of earth and gives it its nourishment of heart; it never leaves the universe at night until it has put the earth to sleep to the song of the sea and the hymn of birds and brooks. And this earth is the mother of trees and flowers. It produces them, nurses them, and weans them. The trees and flowers become kind mothers of their great fruits and seeds. And the mother, the prototype of all existence, is the eternal spirit, full of beauty and love.

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In this Episode 5 of Season 2, we discuss the impact of our mother wounds, breaking cycles, and healing the mother wound.

Resources:

The Mother Wound (mindbodygreen.com): a concept that speaks to the generational pain inherited and passed down between grandmothers, mothers, and daughters caused by living in a patriarchal culture that's oppressive toward women.

Impacts of our Mother Wounds: https://www.theprojectlotus.org/blog/the-mother-wound

What is healing the Mother Wound? (Bethanywebster.com)“Healing the Mother Wound is ultimately about acknowledging and honoring the foundation our mothers provided for our lives so that we can then fully focus on creating the unique lives that we authentically desire and know we are capable of creating.”

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In Season 2, Episode 4 we discuss the mother wound concept and how it relates to body image. We talk about the intersection of the patriarchy, intergenerational legacy, and attachment theory. A backdrop of scarcity in a culture that tends to devalue women that can lead to distortions in the mother-daughter relationship. We discuss the the mother/food connection that shows up from the womb to adulthood, and how this can relate to some eating disorders that show up.

We share personal anecdotes about body comparisons between us and our mothers, negative comments and perceptions of comments about our bodies, and how body judgement plays a role in our family structures today.

Resources:

Stacy Saindon:

Insatiable Podcast, Ali Shapiro and Bethany Webster: https://alishapiro.com/food-body-our-moms-bethany-webster/

Bethany Webster website: https://www.bethanywebster.com

The Emily Program: https://www.emilyprogram.com

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