Communicating through triggers. It's hard, especially when it's not an obvious trigger. Feeling like you have to parent your spouse, (or the opposite - feeling like your spouse is parenting you) is a VERY common, and very sneaky emotional trigger that quickly creates a hostile environment that can be nearly impossible to communicate well in.

Transactional Analysis is a theory and therapeutic modality developed in the 1950's, and is still a helpful tool. It's a tool to identify your "ego state"; (where you typically default in your interactions with others) as a compliant or defiant child, a nurturing or disciplinarian parent, or an adult.

With this tool of self-analysis, it can help you raise your awareness around those sneaky, silent "triggers", and change negative communication (and behavioral) patterns.

Improve your communication, connections, and keep growing. :)

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Help finding a therapist - Psychology Today:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us

(click on "Find a Therapist" at the top of the page.)

Many therapists are now offering insurance-covered virtual sessions, and there are many services that will help you connect specifically with an online-therapist, which is an amazing option:

https://www.betterhelp.com/start/

If you're new to therapy - please know that sometimes it can take a while to find a good fit in a therapist. Therapist shopping can be super rough, but it's worth the effort. If your first meeting isn't ideal, or makes you uncomfortable, don't be discouraged. You don't have to go back - just make an appointment with someone else, and keep going until you find the right fit. It's so worth it. You can also talk to spiritual leaders & trusted friends for local therapist recommendations.

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Intro Music: Staying Positive by spinningmerkaba (c) copyright 2019 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/jlbrock44/59438 Ft: greg_baumont

Outtro Music: gravitationalWaves by airtone (c) copyright 2016 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/airtone/55021

We often treat anger as the problem itself. But what if anger is actually the solution our minds create when something deeper feels too difficult to experience?

Anger often makes us feel strong or intimidating, which in turn makes us feel safe in that moment. Vulnerability typically makes us feel exposed, small, maybe scared...

In this episode, we explore why some people unconsciously choose anger over vulnerability, and how that choice affects relationships, conflict, communication, and even personal growth. From MMA fighters to debate teams to the escalation of domestic violence dynamics. It's a doozy.

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Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233

or text BEGIN to 88788

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Help finding a therapist - Psychology Today:https://www.psychologytoday.com/us

(click on "Find a Therapist" at the top of the page.)

Many therapists are now offering insurance-covered virtual sessions, and there are many services that will help you connect specifically with an online-therapist, which is an amazing option:

https://www.betterhelp.com/start/

If you're new to therapy - please know that sometimes it can take a while to find a good fit in a therapist. Therapist shopping can be super rough, but it's worth the effort. If your first meeting isn't ideal, or makes you uncomfortable, don't be discouraged. You don't have to go back - just make an appointment with someone else, and keep going until you find the right fit. It's so worth it. You can also talk to spiritual leaders & trusted friends for local therapist recommendations.

——

Intro Music: Staying Positive by spinningmerkaba (c) copyright 2019 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/jlbrock44/59438 Ft: greg_baumont

Outtro Music: gravitationalWaves by airtone (c) copyright 2016 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/airtone/55021

We often think communication is about choosing the right words, but words are only a small part of the message.In this episode, my husband Jason 🥰 joins us for a conversation about the many layers of communication beyond verbal content—tone, body language, assumptions, intentions, emotions, and the meaning we attach to what we hear. We explore how misunderstandings happen, why people often feel unheard even when they're listening, and how the practice of mirroring can help bring clarity, connection, and understanding to difficult conversations.If you've ever thought, "That's not what I meant," or "That's not what I heard," this episode is for you. Enjoy watching communication break down between my hubby and I, and then our stumble to re-connect. You're welcome. :) —Help finding a therapist - Psychology Today:https://www.psychologytoday.com/us (click on "Find a Therapist" at the top of the page.)Many therapists are now offering insurance-covered virtual sessions, and there are many services that will help you connect specifically with an online-therapist, which is an amazing option:https://www.betterhelp.com/start/If you're new to therapy - please know that sometimes it can take a while to find a good fit in a therapist. Therapist shopping can be super rough, but it's worth the effort. If your first meeting isn't ideal, or makes you uncomfortable, don't be discouraged. You don't have to go back - just make an appointment with someone else, and keep going until you find the right fit. It's so worth it. You can also talk to spiritual leaders & trusted friends for local therapist recommendations.——Intro Music: Staying Positive by spinningmerkaba (c) copyright 2019 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/jlbrock44/59438 Ft: greg_baumontOuttro Music: gravitationalWaves by airtone (c) copyright 2016 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/airtone/55021

In this episode, we break down one of the most misunderstood experiences in the human body: ANXIETY — and why trying to eliminate it may actually be the very process that makes life fulfilling.Dad smacks us with some provocative statements to ponder:

• ANY change in your life will involve anxiety.
• Nothing worthwhile happens without it.
• Without anxiety, life is meaningless.
• Meaning in life necessitates anxiety.

We're learning to re-frame the physical signals that we call "anxiety". How to understand it as a tool; a signal; information; and not necessarily the enemy. You’ll learn how to reframe the physical feeling we call “anxiety” so it becomes empowering rather than debilitating.We dive into:Why your body reacts the way it doesHow threat responses get mislabeled as “anxiety”Practical ways to shift your relationship with anxiety so it stops running your lifeIf you’ve ever wished anxiety would disappear, this episode will radically change your mind — and maybe your life.---Help finding a therapist - Psychology Today:https://www.psychologytoday.com/us (click on "Find a Therapist" at the top of the page.)Many therapists are now offering insurance-covered virtual sessions, and there are many services that will help you connect specifically with an online-therapist, which is an amazing option:https://www.betterhelp.com/start/If you're new to therapy - please know that sometimes it can take a while to find a good fit in a therapist. Therapist shopping can be super rough, but it's worth the effort. If your first meeting isn't ideal, or makes you uncomfortable, don't be discouraged. You don't have to go back - just make an appointment with someone else, and keep going until you find the right fit. It's so worth it. You can also talk to spiritual leaders & trusted friends for local therapist recommendations.——Intro Music: Staying Positive by spinningmerkaba (c) copyright 2019 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/jlbrock... Ft: greg_baumontOuttro Music: gravitationalWaves by airtone (c) copyright 2016 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/airtone...

Spoiler alert - normal doesn't exist. In the first 10 minutes of this episode, join us for a little pregame if you will, with my dad talking me through IF my own pendulum swings in my personal development journey are healthy or "normal" (going from performer to largely hiding away) as I've become aware of my inner child and family origins. From there we discuss the differences between me and a friend of mine who has similar childhood needs with a different coping mechanism (crying vs. performing) and comparing our "normals". With a very physical, somatic reaction like crying, my personal curiosity is, like my ability to "turn off" my performative side, will someone with a more physical, seemingly "uncontrollable" reaction like crying, be able to "turn it off" like I did? Should they even want to? This leads us to the question of "is this normal" for a family. Dad leads us into a conversation about how to define a family's function and what questions to ask to discover if a family is "doing what it is supposed to do" rather than "is it normal"?There's quite a lot of chapters in this discussion and while they're all different they're all so connected. Whichever part you end up connecting with, we hope it's helpful.As always, Help finding a therapist - Psychology Today:https://www.psychologytoday.com/us (click on "Find a Therapist" at the top of the page.)Many therapists are now offering insurance-covered virtual sessions, and there are many services that will help you connect specifically with an online-therapist, which is an amazing option:https://www.betterhelp.com/start/If you're new to therapy - please know that sometimes it can take a while to find a good fit in a therapist. Therapist shopping can be super rough, but it's worth the effort. If your first meeting isn't ideal, or makes you uncomfortable, don't be discouraged. You don't have to go back - just make an appointment with someone else, and keep going until you find the right fit. It's so worth it. You can also talk to spiritual leaders & trusted friends for local therapist recommendations.---Chapters:00:35 Rebekah's question about pendulum swinging from attention-seeking performer to hermit(ish)09:00 When a childhood coping mechanism is held in the body and reactions are seemingly uncontrollable, like crying, will you see the same ability to "turn off" reactions like this that are so deeply engrained in the body? 12:03 What makes a family "normal"? The answer is that THAT'S the wrong question. What is a family's FUNCTION? We can define that. (Meeting family member's needs: maintenance, nurturance, and guidance...) 29:52 Quick reminder that EVERYONE HAS BAGGAGE.37:35 Chiropractor Metaphor for the sloooooow process of personal change44:07 Quick Summary45:36 You're not crazy. :) 46:11 Comparison; the places to use it and the places to NOT use it. :) ------Intro Music: Staying Positive by spinningmerkaba (c) copyright 2019 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/jlbrock44/59438 Ft: greg_baumontOuttro Music: gravitationalWaves by airtone (c) copyright 2016 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/airtone/55021

If you’ve ever wondered “Why is this person acting like this?” or “Why did I react that way?” — this is for you.We’ve all heard the term “inner child” — and yes, it is cliché. But behind the kind of cringe label is a very helpful tool to help us understand ourselves and connect with the people around us.In this video, we explore what the inner child actually is, how to spot it in yourself, your parents, and how to recognize when someone else is acting from their younger, more emotionally-reactive, & subconscious self. When you can identify these moments, you can respond with more clarity, compassion, and boundaries — instead of confusion, frustration and raw emotion.A lot of the ideas in this video draw on insights from "Adult-to-Adult" (or "Rewriting the Family Script"), Dad's book (they're the same book - just different titles for different audiences) that breaks down what genuine emotional maturity looks like. AND how to intentionally develop it as an adult learning to be in relationship with your parents as adult peers. (While forever being their child...)

In this episode, we break down how being a firstborn, middle child, youngest, or only child can shape your personality, relationships, habits, and even your confidence.We cover:- The psychology behind birth order- Classic traits of each birth position- Why siblings can grow up in the same home but become totally different people- How your birth role still affects you as an adultWhether you’re here to understand yourself or decode your siblings or significant other, this video will change the way you see yourself, your family dynamics—and maybe your future.

EVERY family has rules that no one talks about — but everyone follows. In this episode, we explore how these unspoken family rules form, why they’re so powerful, and how they continue to guide your behavior long into adulthood. Cycle-breakers, unite!

Family systems shape how we think, feel, and relate to others. In this episode, we begin to break down what the family system is, and the powerful ways it influences your identity, relationships, boundaries, emotional patterns, and stress responses —even long into adulthood. We also discuss the impact that an individual intentionally CHANGING within a family system has on the overall system, and how to navigate the chaos that those [healthy] decisions ignite.

OH MY GOSH YOU GUYS! This episode is so. good. This conversation legitimately changed my life. Looking back, it's so interesting to see how this afternoon with my dad initiated my own awareness, and then influenced years of constantly developing a deeper understanding of my own familial roles and how I've wrestled with them throughout life. Just wow. I know I'm part of this project, but 10/10 recommend.

We all grew up with a role—hero, helper, rebel, mascot, lost child, or something in between. This episode explains how those roles shape your personality, relationships, and the patterns that show up in your adult life.