Today, we discuss that seminal work of puppet literature, Pinocchio!  Written by Carlo Collodi in the early 1880s, this is a very, very strange book.  It’s never been faithfully adapted to film, for reasons you’re about to discover.  Also: you’re supposed to learn a lesson, in case you didn’t notice.  We certainly didn’t!  Topics include: nepotism, Jackie’s “British” accent, Year is Odd: Wrath of God, a squawk, Guillermo Del Toro’s unfaithfulness, puppet hate, Elmo, tiny Detroit, gabagool and capeesh, the Godfather himself, haunted wood, Candide for children, Peter Pan, hot cricket summer, Biblical plotholes, Animorphs, and Waffle House.