Daniel, Matthew, Mike, and Craig polish off Mike's homemade pizza assembled from Kroger brand dough, sauce, and cheeses, and topped with Totino's Combination Pizza Rolls!

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We've threatened to make this pizza in the past, and now it's finally here. Since you can't just go buy this ready-made in a drive thru like our other FOOD BLOG reviewed delicacies, here's a handy recipe of sorts that should free you from most of the guesswork involved:

• First, go buy a bag of pizza rolls (we like Totino's, but you can slum it with your local store brand), a jar or can of pizza sauce, a package of shredded mozzarella (or multi-cheese blend), and we recommend a thin crust with a stated cooking time around 10 minutes.
• Second, make the pizza. If you don't already know how, you're not a real American. Try to squeeze 15-20 pizza rolls onto the pie, but leave some space in between them. If you'd like to try for as many as you can, we recommend letting them thaw out first. Otherwise, you'll probably burn the crust and cheese and still end up with cold centers in your pizza rolls.
• Third, add a few minutes of cooking time. You've about doubled the mass of the pizza crust, so it's going to take longer to heat everything up. Ours took about 15 minutes for a crust that said 8-10 on the package.
• Last, be careful taking those first few bites. The insides of the pizza rolls will be hotter than the sun. Enjoy!

Alternate episode title:

• Pizza Pi'd