#PlannedUnplanned

Learning about and understanding what special needs is can be vastly different from experiencing it for yourself with your own child. On today's #PlannedUnplanned, we're joined by a mother of four beautiful children, Vezi Silwanyana and founder of the INAM Foundation which was inspired by the journey that her and her family have been on since Vezi’s third born, Inam, was diagnosed. What does society not understand, what knowledge should you equip yourself with before you take your child to the Dr or specialist. How crucial is support from family, friends and strangers too. The conversation may have been centered on Vezi’s specific journey with her family but the lessons shared were such that we could take something out of it for ourselves or for someone we know. And because it is #PlannedUnplanned, you’ll hear my daughter Kutloano sharing her opinion as my co-host for the day...I appreciate the teachers and the crèche my daughter goes to even more!

Parenting is an all encompassing experience and it's quite easy to be consumed with what needs to be done by each parent to look after the household and your child / children...and forget about YOU, the parent. On today's #PlannedUnplanned, we're trying to figure out how as parents we can find ways of taking care of ourselves to make sure that we do not lose ourselves in parenting responsibilities. Keeping your identity or sense of self after baby has arrived, reminding yourself that you still exist as an individual and not being hard on yourself for choosing some self-care. We also talk about how parents can communicate better about what they would like to do as individuals without compromising the home, the little ones, parenting team dynamics and forgetting that their partner also needs their support when they want to do their own thing for self.

The motherhood journey when you are the only parent. When society judges unwed mothers harshly - they are isolated and left with little or no support. On #PlannedUnplanned, we're joined by single parent Cikizwa Mashologu who shares her own journey when she fell pregnant at a young age and the father of her child, left her to figure it out on her own. We talk about the lessons, the hardships, the growing up, the sacrifices and she also shares her bit of wisdom and advice to other women who may be faced with a similar life journey. We also have a voice note shared by Paballo Makhetha and how she was raised by a single mother and later the involvement of her stepfather as she was growing up.

Love - Marriage - Babies. When are you having a baby? You have maybe asked the question or you have been asked the question. Will there ever be a time when the focus wont be on women and their reproductive system or how soon she will be having children? On #PlannedUnplanned, we're joined by newly married, entrepreneur and power woman with a plan - her "Project 2025", Michelle Lima, to talk about how she has dealt with the questions and assumptions of when she and her husband will be having children. We also talk about society's expectations including religion factor too.

From how to burp the baby, to getting your bundle of joy into a sleep routine that will help everyone in the house stay sane and sleep better too - finding your rhythm with the newest member of your family will be an interesting time! It will have the stressful moments and the times when you're puffy eyed from either lack of sleep or tearful moments of frustration. This week on #PlannedUnplanned, we share a little bit of what's happening in our respective households, what we've learnt along the way - and are still learning - and how to not be the "backseat parent" and also how to handle the well meaning advice that you will surely receive from those around you.

It's absolutely natural and happens so easily...Right? It's #breastfeedingweek and there's a lot of conversation on the benefits of it, how employers should be supporting breastfeeding mothers and also how we should be normalising breastfeeding in public. On #PlannedUnplanned, we focused on how mothers truly experienced breastfeeding: the high, lows, challenges, available support systems, finding what worked for them and their babies; and learning to empower themselves whilst learning to not be placed under societal pressures / expectations. We also had the chance to learn more about the role of midwives and healthcare professionals in providing the necessary knowledge and support for mothers....and yes, fathers too, because their role is extremely important in supporting their partners as well as educating themselves.

Social media: (Phumeza) Twitter and Instagram: @phumeza_langa, Facebook: Phumeza Langa - (Lesiba) Twitter and Instagram: @leslanga, Facebook: Lesiba Langa

Guests: Tiisetso Gama @tiisetsogama, Aisha O'Reilly @aishaandlife, Lilly Million @LillyMillion and midwife, Lilo Mthembu

Welcome to #PlannedUnplanned - An introduction to who we are, what we're about - and sharing a little bit more about our individual parenting experiences. We have ideas and thoughts on how cultural and societal expectations do have an impact on how we do what we do for our children, families and households. YES! Check on your friends who are parents.