Navigating a world that shuts down our authentic selves means that navigating spaces of play and creativity can be terrifying. In this enlightening conversation, Parneet breaks down why shame is so toxic, and pathways to bring our shadows to the light.

Parneet is a human being inspired by the resilience and healing abilities of the human heart, mind and body. Her life is oriented towards the liberation and wholeness of all beings including herself. Parneet works as a counsellor and somatic experiencing practitioner in private practice, as well as a mindfulness and authentic relating facilitator. 

PRACTICE 

• Dancing to house music - a channel for love, freedom, connection & community. 
• Question why a creative practice keeps being postponed - what is getting in the way of spontaneously erupting into play ? 
• Use a sock puppet to externalize shame, or allow the shame itself to be the artistic director of a project. 
• To work with shadow, bring it to the light and see what it has to say. We just need to be big enough, brave enough, and compassionate enough.
• We need to biologically prepare for conflict - sleep, eating, the day of the week, etc. 

IDEAS 

Shadow

• Shadow is the unconscious hidden, repressed and denied parts of ourselves that the ego has rejected. Those shadow parts are secretly behind the wheel. 
• People are terrified of being themselves for a reason. It often connects to childhood moments when someone’s authentic version was judged or shamed. 
• When shadow is just reacting to being repressed, we are actually just seeing the reaction of shadow, not the shadow itself. 
• So much healing can happen when we observe, notice, welcome, love and embrace shadow. It dissolves naturally as it doesn’t want to be there. 
• We are always in relationship with shadow. Often, its impulse is to protect. 

Shame 

• It is so vulnerable to be seen when there is the possibility of being evaluated for something that is heart centered. 
• Sometimes being seen can take you out of your creative vibe. 
• Shame has a biological function as an inhibitor in service of social belonging and good social connections. It becomes generalized however; instead of being connected to something we are doing, it becomes attached to an essence. This is why identity related traumas are so confusing - the shame is about 'me'. This needs to end. 
• To let shame go, we need to trust we will remain connected to our essence. For some of us, our entire lives have been shaped by shame. 

Intersectionality & play 

• The discernment - am I safe or am I in danger - is a constant assessment as a queer racialized person. 
• Intersectionality affects everything when it comes to playfulness.
• People who are silly & playful have the privilege of feeling safe to do so. We can have compassion for the microaggressions that have gotten in the way of other people not being able to show up playfully. 
• Safety is a prerequisite to play & creativity. 

Conflict 

• Conflict requires a strong container, otherwise the nervous system will seek to protect you. 
• I've seen conflict resolve beautifully, with deeper and more loving & trusting relationships when there is intentionality, consent and a container. 

Group Facilitation 

Move away from predict and control to sense and respond when working with groups. 

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