Please Do Not Swear

Ding dang dong, it's wedding bells in the Big Brother house! The legendary wedding task is finally upon us, as we witness the vocal stylings of Michelle Bass, a crying bride, and some honeymoon suite snu snu.

The housemates put the camp back in bootcamp this week as they play sergeant and private. Michelle lays down the law, Ahmed attempts a coup, and Nadia just wants her cigarettes. 

It's snogs behind the bike shed and big St Trinian's energy this week as Big Brother sends our housemates back to school. A silent protest goes awry, Shel's graduation party turns jammy, and we stan Becki Seddiki.

Betrayal is in the air this week as an Italian Judas otherwise known as Becki enters the fray. The housemates put on a festival, Marco stacks it, and Ahmed insists he is not a sandwich. 

Fight Night is but a distant memory this week, as the housemates get back into the swing of things with another task bonanza. Our resident psychologists are back with a bang, Marco's lady garden comes under fire, and we have our long-belated first eviction of the season! 

Note: 22:14-33:30 discusses the growing transphobia in the house and listener discretion is advised.

It's the morning after the fight before and the housemates have woken up with the absolute fear. Bridges are rebuilt, Emma gets the boot (much to think about), and we chat hangovers from hell as we unpack the aftermath of Fight Night.

The wait is over, and the legendary Big Brother UK season 5 Fight Night is finally upon us. Emma and Michelle emerge from the bedsit and absolute chaos ensues. Trays were thrown, tears were shed, and reality TV was never the same again. Cut the cameras deadass.

The housemates are truly on a roundabout to hell this week. A food fight and a bathroom walk in cause heated meltdowns, Ahmed argues with the house alarm and goes full Smash Brothers on a pile of helpless plates, and we brace ourselves as Michelle and Emma enter the iconic Big Brother bedsit. 

We're straight out the gate with the BBUK series 5 shenanigans. It's only week 1 and we have a revolution on our hands, alliances forming, blazing rows, and baps being felt. And that's before we talk about Kitten...

We're back for season 5, with an all-star lineup of housemates. We meet and greet Marco, Ahmed, Jason, Daniel, Stuart, Victor, Vanessa, Emma, Kitten, Michelle, Shell and Nadia in our most claustrophobic, chaotic house yet.