Hello to our poor, powfagged Purple People! Aren’t we tired this week? Whether you’re sitting in digs having just dashed off staged or weary after a hard day at your sexy occupation, we are here for you! And this week we'll be guiding you through the entertaining and esoteric world of… video games!

Are you a fan of Space Wars circa 1977, or are you a 7th generation lemming? Are you a speed bump or a snowflake? Are you dying to know what, according to gamers, is the difference between a cow and a sheep? Well never fear, Susie is here to take you through fragging, Fortnite and respawning, while explaining just how silly it is to be salty.

Elsewhere Gyles is bamboozled by your Purple Post before sharing a lovely Martyn Hesford poem, reminding us all to "rip the sky open… eat the lilac flower… and breathe".

Susies trio:

Plothering- chucking it down with rain

Woofits- unwell feeling, or a slight moody depression

Princock- a foolish and conceited person

If you’d like to get in touch with Gyles and Susie then please do! At [email protected].

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A Somethin' Else production.

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