This week finds your hosts discussing yet another episode that aged extremely poorly. Danny is accused of sexual assault but absolutely no one believes the accuser. Delinda tries to fix Mystique's bottom line with a disastrous burger experiment. And Mike crushes up some blue pills he gets from an old man, snorts them, and let's Sam do pull-ups on his sex stick.

You can interact with the Montecito faithful on twitter @montecitopod and email us at [email protected]. But, as always, remember that all of this good, good content is TM, TM, TM.™

TM.

Hello friends. We're coming to you this week with another placeholder episode. No, there wasn't another meteorlogical catastrophe. Real life just got in the way and we ran out of time to get the episode edited. Don't worry, we haven't been canceled or sued (yet) and we should return to normal service next week.

Until next time... well, I really wanted to come up with a derivative of stay thirsty, but I couldn't figure out a good version. Stay degenerate? Stay gambling? Stay riding Peacock's ass to put Vegas on the platform? Pick any or all from the above list. And as Ed would say, dueces.

It's unclear what got in the drinking water (editor's note: it's very clear -- whiskey) but your boys dined out on this week's episode for awhiiiiiiiiile. Your eyes do not deceive you, this runtime is atrocious. We initially thought our producer could get away with a light edit, but that quickly proved impractical. And yes, this really is only covering the one episode.

When a guest of the hotel shows up dead of an apparent suicide, Delinda insists the MCFTF look into it while she ducks out to hit the strip club with Mike's former college girlfriend. Said girlfriend is now gay and Mike is going to not at all freak out about that. Sam, before heading out to the same strip club has to manage a client that in 2005 would have seemed like a crazy germaphobe, while in 2021 appears to be woefully underprepared.

Hit us up on Twitter @montecitopod or email us at [email protected] and let us know how many times you checked the time remaining on the episode before you decided, "fuck it, I'm out."

In this week's episode, Big Ed gets kidnapped by one of the Animaniacs. Danny and Mike activate the MCFTF and manage to keep it quiet despite having absolutely no chill. One of Sam's whales is laser focused on a shitty ring and the luck that it carries. Guest starring not one, but two shitty Elvis impersonators, any of which Podcast Ed is more than willing to take on in a court of law.

Connect with us on Twitter @MontecitoPod and discuss the show using #LasVegasNBC. Email us at [email protected] but note the first one is the letters, the second one is the curly 'a' thingie.

Noted Bad Boys star Mike Lowwwwwwwwry visits the Montecito this week and is the subject of both Delinda's lust and a horse burglar's shenanigans. The other Mike turns out to be a legit stalker who probably has to go door to door and introduce himself as a sexual predator every time he moves. And Sam can't help herself, she's going to get into the crime the only way she knows how -- via a Mexican drug cartel.

Special guest star Celine Dion, who delivers your hosts' brand promise straight to you, our loyal listener. Connect with us on Twitter @MontecitoPod and use #LasVegasNBC. Email us at [email protected] and, if you're Matthew McConaughey, use the subject line: "Angels in the Montecito."

This week, the MCFTF has competition from the South Pole as Mike spots a woman in need of help and flightless birds start shooting lasers. Dary take off for Malibu on a last-minute vacation that has strong implications for their incessant "will they, won't they" game. Nessa is weirdly obsessed with Sam's [REDACTED]. And Delinda continues to be an absolute piece of shit.

Oh, and special musical guests: a bunch of stinky hippies.

Connect with your fellow audience members on Twitter by using the hashtag #LasVegasNBC and get a hold of us at https://twitter.com/montecitopod.

Jack Keller is back, and that's all well and good, but we get neither enough Jack nor enough Keller. The Brits have a saying for this: it does what it says on the tin. If you aren't excited to hear one of your hosts come completely unglued at the absurd "creative license" the writing room takes with the layout of Neon City, then this isn't the episode for you. And honestly, probably not the podcast either.

But if you've stuck around this long, maybe hit us up on Twitter at https://twitter.com/MontecitoPod or email us at [email protected] -- Lord knows it's a better use of your time than cringing at the TV episode's homophobic Steve+Steve jokes that probably weren't funny in 2004 and are definitely shit in 2021... ooof a loof.

A whole bunch of whales have descended upon the Montecito, which makes it problematic when Jillian shows up for a "surprise" stay. The Montecito Crimefighting Task Force welcomes two temporary members (well, really one and a half -- Woody ain't doing shit) from Boston. Mary starts backsliding into terrible RomCom shit while Danny tries to fake bone a doctor. Just remember to wait 15 minutes for refraction before swimming.

It's the episode that starts off weird, stays weird, then somehow finds an even weirder gear. And the guys weren't even drinking... woof.

In this week episode, we have the conference championship and then Superb Owl for 7-year-olds, who manage to win it all despite the worst coaching since whenever the last time the Dallas Cowboys were on the field. Sam has to train a woman who is looking to secretly replace her, but maybe the woman should have been consulting Pilot Episode Mary instead. And oh yeah, some dude gets kidnapped. Caution: the murder orb is slippery when wet.

Come for the breakdown of little kid football, stay for a musical number by best-friend-of-the-pod Josh Duhamel's future ex-wife.

In this week's episode, your boys come a little off the rails, but nothing can compare to the trainwreck that is Delinda, Nessa, the idiot game developers, and, well... really pretty much everything but Mitch. This episode of Las Vegas was really bad, there are no two ways about that. But we think the producer managed to right the ship before he quit. Long story.

Plus, the return of the blooper reel for those of you who are prone to skip to the next podcast once you hear the outro spin up. And you may have already missed one gag in a previous week...