Pod Sematary

Get more at podsematary.com! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1191101921525940224

It’s Manufactured Assassin Week on Pod Sematary! Chris gets pedantic about robot terminology (what else is new?) and Kelsey sings Burnin' in the Third Degree! Thanks to listener Harry for the recommendation!

The Classic Film: The Terminator (1984)

"A seemingly indestructible robot is sent from 2029 to 1984 to assassinate a young waitress, whose unborn son will lead humanity in a war against sentient machines, while a human soldier from the same war is sent to protect her at all costs” (IMDb.com). The first film in the Terminator franchise is probably the closest the series ever gets to straight-up slasher-horror. Don’t worry; we don’t bicker about the logic of time travel.

The Modern Film: Morgan (2016)

"A corporate risk-management consultant must decide whether or not to terminate an artificially created humanoid being.” (IMDb.com). Chris & Kelsey saw this movie when it came out and subsequently forgot everything about it beyond the premise. After they watch it again, this entirely passable flick (that doesn’t seem at all concerned with being anything beyond superficial) reinforces precisely why it doesn’t stick in your brain.

Audio Sources:

"Arnold Schwarzenegger and Linda Hamilton Respond to IGN Comments" via IGN @ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1d_CtQOh54

"Arnold Schwarzenegger Breaks Down His Most Iconic Characters | GQ" via GQ @ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srksXVEkfAs

"Beverly Hills Cop" produced by Paramount Pictures, et al.

“Morgan” produced by Scott Free Productions, et al.

"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones

“The Terminator” produced by Hemdale, et al.

"Terminator 2: Judgement Day" produced by Carolco Pictures, et al.

"Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines" (Deleted Scene & Arnold Schwarzenegger Commentary) produced by C-2 Pictures, et al.

Get more at podsematary.com! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1188231833567272961

CW: Suicide

It’s Halloween again on Pod Sematary! Chris & Kelsey do... well, basically what they do all year anyway! But this is the time of year that they cover the Halloween franchise and that means it's Silver Shamrock Time!

The Classic Film: Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)

"An apparent murder-suicide in a hospital emergency room leads to an investigation by the on-call doctor, which reveals a plot by an insane toymaker to kill as many people as possible during Halloween through an ancient Celtic ritual involving a stolen boulder from Stonehenge and Halloween masks” (IMDb.com). If that sounds absolutely ridiculous, it is. If it doesn't sound like Michael Myers is in this movie, he isn't. Season of the Witch is a divisive entry in the hallowed franchise and our opinion could go either way...

The Modern Film: The Nun (2018)

"When a young nun at a cloistered abbey in Romania takes her own life, a priest with a haunted past and a novitiate on the threshold of her final vows are sent by the Vatican to investigate... Risking not only their lives but their faith and their very souls, they confront a malevolent force in the form of the same demonic nun that first terrorized audiences in 'The Conjuring 2'” (Warner Bros.). This darkest chapter in the Conjuring universe has gotten a good deal of flack from critics and horror fans alike, but honestly, it still has a lot going for it.

Audio Sources:

"Careless Whisper" written by George Michael & Andrew Ridgeley and performed by George Michael

"Ghostbusters" produced by Columbia Pictures, et al.

"Halloween III: Season of the Witch" produced by Dino De Laurentiis Company & Universal Pictures

"Hercules" produced by Walt Disney Pictures, et al.

"The Little Mermaid" produced by Walt Disney Pictures, et al.

"The Nun" produced by New Line Cinema, et al.

"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones

"Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi" produced by Lucasfilm

Get more at podsematary.com! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1185625529208188928

It’s a Sequel Week on Pod Sematary! Chris & Kelsey check out two follow-ups to films we've enjoyed on the show already!

The Classic Film: House II: The Second Story (1987)

"The new owner of a sinister house gets involved with reanimated corpses and demons searching for an ancient Aztec skull with magic powers” (IMDb.com). The first House movie was an unexpected treat for us, but it seems like The Second Story, with its nonsense “and then” plot and shallow child-pandering, has no idea what made the original actually good.

The Modern Film: The Conjuring 2 (2016)

"Ed and Lorraine Warren travel to North London to help a single mother raising 4 children alone in a house plagued by a supernatural spirit” (IMDb.com). In the past, we’ve been vocal supporters of Wan’s Insidious (1 & 2) and Conjuring movies, but is there a point where assuming success poisons what is otherwise a quality flick?

Audio Sources:

"Aladdin" (1992) produced by Walt Disney Pictures, et al.

“The Conjuring 2” produced by New Line Cinema, et al.

“House II: The Second Story” produced by New World Pictures & Sean S. Cunningham Films

"Inspector Gadget" (1982) produced by DIC Entertainment, et al.

"It" (1990) produced by Warner Bros. Television, et al.

"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones

"Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated" (2010) produced by Warner Bros. Animation

"The Transformers" (1984) produced by Hasbro, et al.

Get more at podsematary.com! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1181763562881994752

CW: Suicide, Rape

It’s Satanic Thriller Week on Pod Sematary! Chris & Kelsey make a deal with the devil (Kelsey got a new puppy in exchange for Chris’ soul). Thanks for recommending The Ascent, Peter!

The Classic Film: The Ninth Gate (1999)

"A rare book dealer, while seeking out the last two copies of a demon text, gets drawn into a conspiracy with supernatural overtones” (IMDb.com). One of many satanic thrillers from the late 90s and early 00s, The Ninth Gate tries and mostly fails to pull off the tone of The Omen but with a modern edge, but is there something there to enjoy anyway?

The Modern Film: The Ascent (2017)

"Veteran LAPD detective Henry Cardenas faces off against his toughest murder suspect yet, Vince Marins, who claims to be something other than human. Over the course of 24 hours, truths, both new and long-buried, will be revealed” (IMDb.com). This amateur-feeling attempt at a cool concept feels like it would be better off as an intimate, one-act play instead of a micro-budget, feature-length movie that the filmmakers seem ill-equipped to pull off.

Audio Sources:

“The Ascent” produced by The Ascent Movie, LLC

“The Ninth Gate” produced by Artisan Entertainment, et al.

"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones

"Tom Segura: Completely Normal" produced by 3 Arts Entertainment & New Wave Entertainment Television

Get more at podsematary.com! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1179130908894318593

CW: Depression, Suicide

It’s a change of pace on this episode of Pod Sematary with Horrifying Family Animation Week! Chris & Kelsey talk about two animated masterpieces that, while not explicitly horror films, still manage to unsettle or terrify children and adults alike. Please accept the thin pretense for a nice feel-good break from the norm. Thanks to listener Jeffrey for recommending The Secret of NIMH!

The Classic Film: The Secret of NIMH (1982)

"To save her ill son, a field mouse must seek the aid of a colony of rats, with whom she has a deeper link than she ever suspected” (IMDb.com). Chris's favorite animated film marks maybe the last time Disney's dominance of the cartoon market was called into question. Don Bluth's first(!) feature after leaving what he considered to be a floundering Disney in the 80s, The Secret of NIMH doesn't shy away from plunging audiences into the depths of darkness and despair to help them appreciate the light.

The Modern Film: Spirited Away (2001)

"During her family's move to the suburbs, a sullen 10-year-old girl wanders into a world ruled by gods, witches, and spirits, and where humans are changed into beasts” (IMDb.com). Calling Hayao Miyazaki "the Walt Disney of Japan" doesn't give the animation auteur enough credit for the unique wonder and majesty he brings the world with his films. With Spirited Away, perhaps his best ever (although Kelsey prefers Totoro), Miyazaki thrusts the audience into a frighteningly mystical world of spirits and demons that never ceases to amaze.

Audio Sources:

"The NeverEnding Story" produced by Constantin Film, et al.

"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones

“The Secret of NIMH” produced by Don Bluth Productions, et al.

"The Secret of NIMH 2: Timmy to the Rescue" produced by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Animation, et al.

"Secrets Behind the Secret" produced by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios Inc.

"Shut Up and Talk: Don Bluth and Gary Goldman" produced by Channel Awesome

"Spirited Away” produced by Studio Ghibli, et al.

Get more at podsematary.com! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1178074557611003904

CW: Suicide

It’s Condensation Week on Pod Sematary! Chris & Kelsey discover something in the fog and probably confuse Carpenter and King classics! Thanks to listener Anthony for the recommendation!

The Classic Film: The Fog (1980)

"An unearthly fog rolls into a small coastal town exactly 100 years after a ship mysteriously sank in its waters” (IMDb.com). Following up on their first film together (Halloween), John Carpenter and Debra Hill team up again to make another great horror movie in a completely different style. This time, an ensemble cast have to find their own way through the fog to stop… vengeful leper pirates? Wait, that can’t be right...

The Modern Film: The Mist (2007)

"A freak storm unleashes species of bloodthirsty creatures on a small town, where a small band of citizens hole up in a supermarket and fight for their lives” (IMDb.com). This Stephen King adaptation (directed by Frank Darabont, probably the most successful King adaptor) not only has one of the most notorious endings in horror cinema history, but also incredible creature designs and gruesomely impactful gore. Are those enough to get over the cliched characters, wonky CGI, and muddled themes? Chris and Kelsey disagree.

Audio Sources:

"The Cat and the Claw Part II" (Batman: The Animated Series S01E08) produced by Warner Bros. Animation

“The Exorcist” produced by Warner Bros. & Hoya Productions

“The Fog” (1980) produced by Debra Hill Productions, et al.

“Halloween” (1978) produced by Compass International Pictures

“The Mist” produced by Dimension Films, et al.

“Move Bitch” written by J. Smith, et al. and performed by Ludacris feat. Mystikal & I-20

"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones

"Soul and Mind" performed by E's Jammy Jams

"The Stand" produced by Greengrass Productions & Laurel Entertainment Inc.

"Tales from the Mist: Inside 'The Fog'" produced by Automat Pictures

"The Thing" (1982) produced by Universal Pictures & Turman-Foster Company

"WNEW FM Opening 5 - 2 - 77” performed by Alison Steele

Get more at podsematary.com! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1174456405132079104

CW: Child Abuse, Rape

It’s Child Cult Week on Pod Sematary! Chris & Kelsey blaspheme against He Who Walks Behind the Rows this week, probably because they’re well past the age of favor.

The "Original": Children of the Corn (1984)

"A young couple is trapped in a remote town where a dangerous religious cult of children believe everyone over the age of 18 must be killed” (IMDb.com). This “original” adaptation of Stephen King’s short story takes quite a few liberties, but more often than not, these changes end up as beloved moments in 80s horror. But is it actually as scary and Chris and Kelsey remember?

The “Remake”: Children of the Corn (2009)

"While traveling, an unhappy married couple encounter a cult of murderous children who worship an entity called He Who Walks Behind the Rows” (IMDb.com). This version is much more faithful to the original story, much to its detriment. King’s overly hysterical dialogue doesn’t play so well when it doesn’t have the benefit of being broken up by his fascinating prose.

Plus! We discuss the original short story and the actual first adaptation: 1983 short film Disciples of the Crow!

Audio Sources:

"Cabin in the Woods” produced by Lionsgate, et al.

"Child's Play" (1988) produced by United Artists

"Children of the Corn" (1984) produced by Hal Roach Studios, et al.

"Children of the Corn" (2009) produced by Children of the Corn Productions & Planet Productions

"Disciples of the Crow” produced by Johnny Stevens & John Woodward

"The NeverEnding Story" produced by Constantin Film, et al.

"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones

"The Wacky Molestation Adventure" (South Park S04E16) produced by Braniff

CW: Rape, Child Abuse, Suicide

Get more at podsematary.com! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1171632981816922112

It’s "Give Kelsey Nightmares Week" on Pod Sematary! Chris & Kelsey get trashed so Chucky doesn't ruin Kelsey's nerves forever!

The Original: Child’s Play (1988)

"A single mother gives her son a much sought-after doll for his birthday, only to discover that it is possessed by the soul of a serial killer” (IMDb.com). The beginning of a franchise that, let's say, goes places... this 1988 original is the series at its absolutely most terrifying. With a villain that could be up on the Mount Rushmore of horror, there's a reason Kelsey suffers from Chuckiphobia.

The Remake: Child’s Play (2019)

"After moving to a new city, young Andy Barclay receives a special present from his mother -- a seemingly innocent Buddi doll that becomes his best friend. When the doll suddenly takes on a life of its own, Andy unites with other neighborhood children to stop the sinister toy from wreaking bloody havoc” (IMDb.com). This sacrilegious remake dared deign to reboot a beloved (but arguably floundering) franchise. While it does some pretty stupid stuff, for sure, it also does some pretty great stuff even better than the original. If you can give a shot to serial killer souls inhabiting dolls via voodoo, you can give this one a chance, too.

Audio Sources:

“Child’s Play” (1988) produced by United Artists

“Child’s Play” (2019) produced by Orion Pictures, et al.

"The Langoliers" produced by Laurel Entertainment Inc., et al.

"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones

"Plastic Buffet" (Robot Chicken S01E04) produced by ShadowMachine

"Rosemary's Baby" produced by William Castle Productions

"Seed of Chucky" produced by Rogue Pictures, et al.

"Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home" produced by Paramount Pictures & Industrial Light & Magic

CW: Racism, Sexual Assault, Suicide

It’s Our Birthday Week on Pod Sematary! Chris & Kelsey celebrate the anniversaries of their births by watching two more birthday-themed horror flicks. Well, at least one of them is a horror movie… by the end.

The Classic Film: Sweet Sixteen (1983)

"Teenager Melissa moves into a small town filled with racial prejudice and bullying, and each time she meets up with one of the boys in town, they end up murdered - but who is the killer?” (IMDb.com). Sweet Sixteen has all the hallmarks of an awful slasher, but the irresistible relationships and an unbelievably campy theme song save it from the garbage abyss.

The Modern Film: Happy Death Day 2U (2019)

"Tree Gelbman discovers that dying over and over was surprisingly easier than the dangers that lie ahead” (IMDb.com). It only took two movies for this series to forget it was supposed to be horror. The renewed focus on sci-fi and low-hanging jokes turn a concept that is begging to be compelling into a sloppy disappointment.

Get more at podsematary.com! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1170822623862784000

Audio Sources:

"Back to the Future Part II" produced by Universal Pictures, et al.

"Happy Death Day" produced by Universal Pictures, et al.

"Happy Death Day 2U” produced by Blumhouse Productions, et al.

"Knocked Up” produced by Universal Pictures & Apatow Productions

"Looper” produced by Endgame Entertainment, et al.

"The Martian" produced by Twentieth Century Fox, et al.

"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones

"Sweet Sixteen” produced by Sweet Sixteen Productions & Productions Two

"Total Recall" produced by Carolco Pictures

We're playing the new horror game, Man of Medan, right now and will be sharing the video as soon as we can! Keep an eye out!

CW: Alcoholism, Child Abuse, Spousal Abuse, Filicide, Suicide

It’s our 100th episode on Pod Sematary! And a Double Feature! Chris & Kelsey watch one of the greatest horror movies of all time based on one of the greatest books written by one of the greatest horror authors of all time! And then we see the 4 1/2 hour miniseries adaptation that the King likes better!

The "Original": The Shining (1980)

"A family heads to an isolated hotel for the winter where a sinister presence influences the father into violence, while his psychic son sees horrific forebodings from both past and future” (IMDb.com). Stanley Kubrick made what is, in Chris' opinion, his best film with The Shining, but how many points does it lose for being a notoriously bad adaptation?

The "Remake": Stephen King's The Shining (1997)

"A recovering alcoholic must wrestle with demons within and without when he and his family move into a haunted hotel as caretakers” (IMDb.com). ABC's miniseries is much more faithful to the book, having been written by the man himself, but does its accuracy hurt its potential as good television?

Get more at podsematary.com! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1163273002781331456

Audio Sources:

"Anaconda" produced by Columbia Pictures, et al.

"Batman" produced by Warner Bros., et al.

"Clue" produced by Paramount Pictures, et al.

"Instant Karma! (We All Shine On)" written by John Lennon and performed by Lennon/Ono with the Plastic Ono Band

"Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones

"Sharon Stone/Pearl Jam" (Saturday Night Live S17E17, "Wayne's World: Oscar Best and Worst") produced by Broadway Video & NBC Productions

"The Shining" (1980) produced by Warner Bros., et al.

"The Shining" (1997, including commentary) produced by Lakeside Productions & Warner Bros. Television

"Treehouse of Horror V" (The Simpsons S06E06, "The Shinning") produced by Gracie Films & 20th Century Fox Television