Healthy relationships are just as important as a healthy body and a healthy mind. Spencer Feldman, the author of four amazing (and free!) e-books we are going to introduce to you, says: “We want happily ever after, but our DNA has other plans.  It pursues its goal of maximizing genetic diversity by manipulating our neurochemistry and thus how we feel about our partners.  To regain control of your romantic destiny, you’ll need to understand the three phases every relationship goes through, the neurochemistry associated with each phase, and the counter-intuitive actions we need to outwit our DNA and get to our own Happily Ever After.” Listen to Spencer and Martin chatting about the importance of healthy relationships and personal growth in this two-part interview!

Podcast 401: Relationships, Kingship, and Personal Growth with Spencer Feldman (part 2)

SPENCER: So let’s talk about the next part if you like. We could go into the second book if you are interested.

MARTIN: I am very interested! I have much to say about all of that! So we just finished talking about the Four Gifts.

SPENCER: Yeah, and it is available for free at Spiritual Secret Agent.

MARTIN: All right, Spencer, let’s talk about the second book, An Invitation To Kingship, also available at Spiritual Secret Agent. I read it with utmost fascination!

SPENCER: I am glad it was good for you! I was raised by my mom, my parents divorced when I was three, I didn’t see my dad that much. I never really had a strong male model to imprint on. So I had to figure this out for myself. And at the end of the first book, I realized that if I want my partner to be attracted to me, if I want to shut down her hypergamy instinct, I have to be the best man. I’ve got to be so good, that no matter who else comes along, she is just not interested. And if I can’t do that, then I am going to risk something else coming along. Now that doesn’t mean I have to be better than everybody else.

It just means I have to be the best that I can be. Another great guy can come along, but as long as I have got my stuff together, as long as I am holding myself in a proper manner, I believe that it won’t be triggering her to find someone better, right? So this was my study on what it meant to be Alpha. And at first, I was looking at animals, and then I started looking at humans. Now, where do we learn to be Alpha? Well, right off the bat, just like genetics plays for genetic diversity rather than for a long term marriage, it doesn’t program most men to be Alpha. It only programs 5% of them to be Alpha, and I was no exception, you know, I was not naturally an Alpha guy. So I had to study it, and I had to learn it. And what I am going to share with your audience are the mannerisms, the language, the body language, the attitudes that I think make for that kind of leadership from the man.

MARTIN: I would say from my own memory bank, I remember years of my childhood, there was a constant struggle for establishing the pecking order in the group. Where I was growing up, there were only seven or eight boys in the group, and there was always somebody vying to be in the leadership position.

SPENCER: Yeah. So there are two ways people lead, right? There is the King and the Tyrant. So the book’s called An Invitation to Kingship. And I define a King as an Alpha man, who is noble, who is taking care of the people around them, and a Tyrant as an Alpha male who is selfish and is taking advantage of people. Now a Tyrant rises in the pecking order by suppressing and pushing other people down, insulting, and intimidating them. A King rises by declining any invitations to be submissive. So all the King has to do to rise to the top of the group is to simply decline the Tyrant,