Today we have Stef. She is 39 years old, lives in Truckee, CA, and took her last drink on March 24th, 2026.
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[02:00] Thoughts from Paul:
Yes, we are all broken. Not because of a drinking problem, but because all 8 billion humans on the planet are perfectly imperfect.
While a drinking problem breaks you, it can be alchemized or transformed into your greatest strength. The transformation that someone makes when stepping into an alcohol-free life is hard to describe. Imperfection, brokenness, and flaws are not failures, but rather essential openings for growth, understanding, and hope.
“There’s a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.” – Leonard Cohen
“The world breaks everyone, and afterward, many are strong at the broken places…” – Ernest Hemingway
Kintsugi – the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery by mending cracks with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum.
[06:10] Paul introduces Stef:
Stef is 39 years old, works in property management and has two dogs.
Stef was socially awkward growing up, but when she had her first drink, she says she felt at home. She loosened up and her personality came out. Rules were restrictive at home, so she didn’t have a lot of opportunities to party until she was kicked out. She says she floated around and did a lot of partying at that point.
When Stef was in her early 20s, her boyfriend passed away in a drunk driving accident. Stef says the only way she knew how to cope with things was to drink and forget it. It wasn’t long after that she got her first DUI. She ran from the charges for about two years and when she was picked up on a warrant, she was sent to AA meetings.
Stef says going to the first AA meeting felt like the first drink she had. She felt like she belonged there. She was 24 at the time and was able to quit drinking for six months before moving which is when she stopped reaching out to her sponsor.
Stef thought that she could use what she learned in AA to keep her from drinking alcoholically again. But as time went on, the drinking ramped back up. Stef eventually found herself unemployed, unable to pay rent, and had to move in with her grandmother in Sacramento.
Things were going well for Stef. She was able to get a job, stopped drinking and partying, but she was still hiding alcohol and drinking after everyone in the house went to bed. Not long after this, she moved to Lake Tahoe because she enjoys snowboarding. She ended up choosing the party over snowboarding and began having consequences.
Between 2014 and 2019, Stef got three more DUIs. The fourth DUI came after a rock bottom day of drinking that ended with Stef in a mental health facility swearing that if she was able to get out of there, she would return to AA. The judge ultimately mandated that Stef attend AA, so she dove in and began a four and a half year stretch alcohol-free.
Stef says the desire to drink came out of nowhere in April of 2025. I progressed to daily drinking very quickly and once she caught herself justifying driving drunk again, she knew enough was enough. This time she is quitting for herself, not a court order.
Praying, playing the tape forward and attending meetings are important resources for Stef. She hasn’t forgotten anything she learned in AA and now she enjoys being able to help others. Stef is grateful to have a clear head and be present for everyone in her life now.
Stef’s parting piece of guidance: “Give yourself a chance. See what could come from it. It’s likely going to be very positive for you. So give yourself that chance. You deserve it.”
It all starts from the inside out.
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