Podcast Inglês Online

Hi, what’s up?

Hoje, no podcast, eu falo sobre como foram minhas mudanças de casa aqui em Londres.. Não perca :-) Enjoy!

Hi, what’s up? You’re listening to the new episode of the Inglês Online podcast. Thank you for telling everyone you know about this podcast and, enjoy!

So, if you’ve been listening to this podcast for any length of time you may know that, about four and a half years ago, I moved to London in the United Kingdom. I have since moved house a couple of times and today I would like to tell you a little bit about my experiences and hopefully offer a bit of relevant vocabulary.

So when I first arrived in this country I had only two suitcases with all my stuff in them. Yes, only two very large suitcases. I left some things behind in Brazil but I managed to bring mostly everything with me.. So that wasn’t too complicated.

Now… we start accumulating stuff after we’ve settled somewhere, don’t we? I do, anyway. So. Fast-forward to two years later, when I moved house the first time. I had to hire a van. Now, mind you, it’s not like I filled up the van. No, there was still plenty of space in the van after the driver loaded all my stuff into it, but I definitely needed help because in addition to my original pair of suitcases I now had a couple of bags and two or three boxes.

Thank goodness such services are available! You can hire them off the internet – there are plenty of choices. So I picked a van service that seemed pretty reliable and was not disappointed. The driver was a Hungarian guy, very strong, obviously – ’cause his job is to carry boxes and furniture… I rode along with him in the van to my new place and while we chatted he told me that he had been in London for many years and there were many other Hungarians living in the UK, working and saving up money. OK, no surprises there.

So a couple of years later I moved house again, and I hired the same van service to help with the move. This time around the dad of the owner of the company was the driver. Yep – he didn’t say that right away, but as we chatted and he told me about how he was born in the north of England but then he moved to Birmingham, where he’s lived for a while… Then he told me he worked as a builder, in construction, and he currently buys houses, fixes them up and then sells them.. it eventually came up that his son dropped out of college and started the van company on his own, and he’s doing pretty well. So when his dad comes around to London to visit, he pitches in as a driver.

So it was pretty nice chatting with him as I recognised a bit of a Northern accent (he then confirmed to me he was from the North of England) but then I told him it didn’t sound like pure Northern (which was when he told me he’d been living in Birmingham for many years, which had changed his accent a bit). Birmingham is in the West Midlands of England. It’s good to see I can sort of tell a few of the local accents apart, since back in 2013, when I first moved here, I could barely understand some of them!

Why don’t YOU tell me what it was like last time you moved house? Did you have to hire someone to help? Did your friends or family give you a hand? Talk to you next time.

Vocabulary

I have since done something = depois que a coisa que acabei de dizer aconteceu eu já (fiz alguma coisa)

move house = se mudar de casa (ou apartamento)

to settle somewhere = se estabelecer em algum lugar

fast-forward to 2 years later = “pule” para dois anos depois

ride along with someone = ir com a pessoa em algum veículo

fix a house up = reformar, melhorar uma casa (frequentemente para revendê-la a um preço maior)

to pitch in = colaborar, com ajuda, dinheiro, etc

tell accents apart = diferenciar os sotaques

Hi, everyone.

Hoje, no podcast, eu falo sobre soluções quebra-galho em inglês. Ouça lá!

Hi, everyone. You’re listening to the new episode of the Inglês Online podcast. Thank you for telling everyone you know about this podcast and, enjoy!

So today I’m going to talk about a situation that, I’m sure, everyone is very familiar with. And that’s the situation where we either don’t know how to fix something properly, or we don’t have the time to do that, or all the necessary parts, you name it.

I think we come across this type of situation fairly often, especially those of us who use software on a daily basis. We need to get something done on a text document or spreadsheet, but then we realise we don’t really know how to do it. We then try to look it up in the Help files or do a search online, but – I don’t know, we find the information confusing, incomplete, or I don’t know… just not helpful.

What to do, though, if you’re on a deadline? You have to get that table done, just the way your boss wants it! You’ve tried to find step-by-step instructions, but that didn’t work. It’s time to find a workaround now. A workaround is sort of a semi-solution, a way of fixing that problem this one time, maybe just for today. A workaround would likely not be considered a permanent solution for anything… because it’s usually not the optimal solution.

Using the example I just mentioned, let’s say your boss asked you to put together this fairly complicated table on a text document. The table isn’t very simple because some cells are supposed to contain pictures; whereas other cells are supposed to have different background colours. Yes: in total, we’re talking about fifteen images and thirty five different background colours.

Every table you’ve done so far has been black and white – so this looks fairly complex to you. Tables and text documents are not your specialty… You are, however, a whiz at graphic design. That’s right. You can’t build a table on a text document, but you can create amazing graphics using a photo editor. So you go ahead and you make a table exactly the way your boss wants, using the photo editor, and you save it as an image file. Then, you paste that image on the document. It looks great, but it’s not ideal.

It’s just a workaround – it’s not a permanent solution. It’s not ideal because it is an image. Your boss can’t edit that image, and she might want to. She’ll have to ask you to modify the image file if she wants a different table. If you had built the table using the functionality of the text editor, then it would be easy for your boss to edit it. But you didn’t have the time to learn all that today – your boss needs this table ready by 5PM. You used an image editor to build an image in twenty minutes, and it’s done.

So you used a workaround. Your boss will eventually ask you to learn how to build tables properly… She has already told you you’ll be making lots of tables in the months to come. But for now, an image will do. You can also call your solution  a quick fix. It’s a solution that saved you time. So you say “Boss, I haven’t learned all about tables yet but I found a quick fix.” You boss appreciates the quick fix, although she realises that you’ll have to do it properly next time.

Now tell me your stories of finding a workaround for real problems. Let me know and talk to you next time!

Key expressions

Vocabulary

you name it = “você escolhe”, mas no sentido de “e por aí vai”

an image will do = uma imagem serve

Hi, everyone.

Hoje, no podcast, eu falo sobre algumas comuns com a palavra QUICK. Não perca: ouça já!

Hi, everyone. You’re listening to the new episode of the Inglês Online podcast. Thank you for telling everyone you know about this podcast and, enjoy!

So let’s get started! You know how some people, sometimes, seem to be always ready to do something… like, complain, for example. Or criticise. It’s like that is the first thing on their mind. Whatever it is, whatever the situation, the first words out of their mouth always seem to be in the form of criticism. Or a complaint.

So there’s a very common way to describe that behaviour in English, and it’s very simple too: you say someone is quick to criticise. Or quick to complain. For example, Janet is always quick to point out the flaws in restaurant service. Whenever you guys go together to a new place to eat, Janet will start with her observations: the waiter isn’t dressed properly. Those tables are not being serviced. She forgot to bring the juice. Granted, Janet is a food critic, but still. She’s very quick to criticise and point out flaws in general.

Here’s another way to use the word quick: when someone’s a quick study. That’s an easy one to understand as well, so let’s hear it a few times so you get used to it and start saying it yourself. Basically, someone who’s able to learn something easily or quickly is a quick study. And that doesn’t apply just to school stuff like geography and math. You say someone is a quick study when they’re able to understand how something works fairly quickly. When you’re teaching someone a trick, for example, and they get it relatively quickly? You can tell them they’re a quick study. Or if someone says “Hey, I’d like to teach you how to do this, but it’s not that easy and we don’t have a lot of time”, you can tell them, “Go on, I’m a quick study.”

And here’s an interesting… phrasal verb, I suppose, that is somewhat related to what we’re talking about: study up on something. Study up. That means you’re going to learn as much as you can about a certain topic. You’re going to ask people for tips, then head over to the local library, loan a couple of books on the topic, do several online searches and get a hold of everything and anything that will help you learn new things about your chosen topics. You really want to exhaust your options. That’s how you study up on something.

A while ago – a few years ago, actually – when I decided to find out what was necessary to acquire fluency on a second language, that’s what I did. I read up on language acquisition. See? I’m using READ instead of STUDY here. I read up on language acquisition. So I did a lot of online searching and read up on language acquisition. Of course, I concentrated on what made sense to me and on stuff that was backed up by positive evidence, but I did read up on the topic.

Can you give me an example that relates to your life? Let me know, and talk to you next time!

Key expressions

Vocabulary

granted = tudo bem que

exhaust your options = conhecer/ usar todas as opções possíveis

Hi, everyone.

Hoje, no podcast, eu falo sobre dois idioms super comuns entre os falantes da língua inglesa. Ouça já!

Hi, everyone. You’re listening to the new episode of the Inglês Online podcast. Thank you for telling everyone you know about this podcast and, enjoy!

So picture this: someone’s trying to convince you of something, or they’re trying to make you understand the way they think. So they proceed to make a comparison – this way, it will be easier for you to grasp the message behind what they’re saying. For example: your friend John is telling you that, in his opinion, parks in the city should offer free food to visitors. He says “They offer bathrooms, don’t they? We can use the toilets for free. So I think they should give us food for free as well.”

You reply “John, you’re comparing apples and oranges here.” You’re comparing apples and oranges, or you’re mixing apples and oranges. Free toilet services and free food? That’s apples and oranges. These are two different things that shouldn’t necessarily be handled in the same way. So you tell John “The city is able to provide toilet services, which are relatively simple and affordable enough. But providing food is a much more complex operation – the cost is a lot higher, it involves several specific rules and regulations that have to be adhered to, not to mention that, you know, different people want and like different things! Why would you want to deprive people of all the different choices that they can have when buying food from a shop?” And you finish your argument by repeating  “John, you’re comparing apples and oranges.”

Or your other friend, Molly, tells you that she’s going to do a Math test tomorrow. The subject of the test is… two things: one, addition. Like, two plus two equals four. Two, subtraction. As in, eight minus three equals five. That’s it. Molly is a professional accountant, by the way. I think she knows how to add and subtract. You, on the other hand, are a medical student  and tomorrow you have your final… neurosciences exam. Ok, I don’t even know if neurosciences is an exam subject in medical school, but let’s go with it. So you basically have to study a whole lot in the field of neurosciences, for tomorrow.

Molly knows all that, obviously, but she still says “Wow, we both have to study hard today. I’m sure we’ll have to put in the same amount of effort, me with addition and subtraction, and you with neurosciences!” And you know she means it – she is not being sarcastic or anything. So, obviously, your first thought is “Yeah, that’s apples and oranges, Molly. Apples and oranges.”

Alright! Let’s move on to another idiom: your days are numbered, or this or that thing’s days are numbered. If you’re in the habit of watching American films I’m sure you’ve heard this one before. That would be something that the hero of the movie would typically say to the villain: Your days are numbered. That means, you won’t be able to keep doing what you’re doing for too long. I’ll catch you, I will stop you, you’ll go to jail – your days are numbered.

So basically that’s it – if something’s days are numbered, that thing will not exist for much longer. I think everyone can think of an example in their life. Sometimes… sometimes there’s a shop in your neighbourhood that just can’t seem to do well, no matter how much effort the owners put into it. Whenever you walk past, you can’t help but notice that it’s empty. No customers. That makes you think that this shop’s days are numbered, right?

Have you had an example like that in your neighbourhood? Please let me know in the comments, and talk to you next time!

Key expressions

Vocabulary

you can’t help but notice = não dá pra (você) deixar de perceber

Hello!

Hoje, no podcast, eu falo sobre algumas maneiras de dizer que alguém ‘teve um chilique’!

Hello! You’re listening to the new episode of the Inglês Online podcast. Thank you for telling everyone you know about this podcast and, enjoy!

So I’ve talked in the past about people having a strop and not being able to hold their temper. Today we come back to the same theme with the following idiom: throw a temper tantrum. It is such a common expression that people will often just say “throw a tantrum”. A tantrum is basically a display of bad temper  – someone throwing a tantrum will seem to be very angry or seriously unhappy about something, and they may refuse to behave in the way that is expected of them, or refuse to cooperate with something and so on.

So, you guys, there are some words that are commonly associated with this topic of throwing a temper tantrum – first of all, you could also say throw a fit. A fit. In this case, we wouldn’t say “throw a temper fit”, ok? Just go with throw a fit, or throw a tantrum, and the message will be very clear. Here’s a way to describe a temper tantrum… Jack threw a tantrum this morning because he wasn’t happy with the breakfast served at the hotel he’s staying in. He said he was frustrated with the service, since he had specifically asked the hotel staff for scrambled eggs the night before, and they made fried eggs instead for his breakfast this morning.

Jack had a fit. He threw a tantrum and, while you understand that not getting your eggs the way you want can be very distressing (*), you also think that Jack’s behaviour was very childish and immature. So when someone’s childish, they’re behaving in a way that a young child would behave – because that child hasn’t learned yet that they can’t have everything they want all the time and they will cry or throw their toys out of the pram when things don’t go their way.

You can also describe the behaviour of someone having a tantrum as extreme. It’s not an everyday kind of behaviour, is it? We don’t want to go around having a fit whenever we don’t get what we want. Between having no reaction at all, and throwing a temper tantrum, most people are able to go somewhere in the middle and explain why they’re not happy and maybe achieve some kind of resolution. So throwing a tantrum might be described as childish and extreme.

Now the other extreme of that is people who remain cool, calm and collected when in a stressful situation. Or even if they feel frustrated, tired or even angry, they’re able to keep their cool. Many people say that practicing meditation helps them remain cool and collected. Others say that praying helps them in remaining centred. When someone is able to remain centred, that means that they don’t let negative emotions get to them under stress. They’re able to navigate through a difficult situation, be rational and still make sensible decisions.

Now, tell me: have you ever witnessed someone throw a tantrum in public? What did you see? Let me know in the comments and talk to you next time.

Key expressions

(*)That was a bit of sarcasm :-)

How have you been?

Hoje, no podcast, eu falo sobre idioms com a palavra HELL. Não perca!

How have you been? You’re listening to the new episode of the Inglês Online podcast. Thank you for telling everyone you know about this podcast and, enjoy!

So here we go: this week I’m going to talk about two idioms with the word hell. Yep, hell, the opposite, so to speak, of heaven. Let’s get right into it: if someone gives you hell for something you’ve done or said, that means… they’re not happy, to say the least. Giving you hell means telling you off, scolding you in a severe way. As per usual, however, sometimes people say “Oh, so and so will give me hell if I’m late” and they might be exaggerating a little bit. Maybe their friend will say something if they’re late but not necessarily give them hell – but we sometimes do that, right? We use certain expressions to exaggerate something and to create a certain effect.

So you might say “I didn’t do the dishes yesterday and my mother gave me hell for it”, meaning, she was upset. Or you could hear your work colleague say “My team screwed up the sales presentation to our biggest client and our director gave us hell for it” meaning, the director gave the team a severe scolding that will be hard to forget.

So here’s another one with hell: when hell freezes over. As everyone knows, hell is a place that is supposed to be really, really hot. So you can imagine what a person means when they say “when hell freezes over”. That means never, ever; not a chance. “Are you going to sell your bike and buy a car and start driving everywhere?” “Ha, when hell freezes over! I love riding my bike. Even when I’m on vacation! I’ll go everywhere on bike.”

So let me put together a little story for you: your boss, Joe, is the marketing manager and you’ve told him that your colleague Tina, over at Sales, said she needed a detailed report of all marketing expenses for the last five years – every single one of them. And, she needs it in two days. So when you’re done talking, Joe just looks at you and says “Yes. We’re going to prepare a complete report on every one of our expenses in the last five years for the day after tomorrow, when hell freezes over.” That’s it. You know that when your boss Joe says no, he means no. Tina is going to get that report when hell freezes over.

Well, next thing you do is march over to Sales and give Tina the news. You’re going to start working on the report as soon as hell freezes over. You obviously use different words to convey the message, right? You say “Tina, unfortunately this isn’t something we can do at the moment. We don’t have enough staff to be able to handle this kind of task.” Tina’s boss, Larry, who’s just walking by, overhears you. He’s very angry to learn he’s not going to see this report anytime soon. In fact, he’s giving you hell for it right about now. He’s turned red and looks very agitated. Really upsetting what’s going on; Larry is clearly not happy. You go back to your boss’ office and tell him that Larry has given you hell for telling him about the report.

So that kind of thing happens sometimes, doesn’t it? What is your example? Let me know and talk to you next time!

Key expressions

Vocabulary

overhears you = ouve (a sua conversa, sem estar participando dela)

How’s it going?

Hoje, no podcast, eu falo sobre idioms com a palavra NOTHING! Não perca.

How’s it going? You’re listening to the new episode of the Inglês Online podcast. Thank you for telling everyone you know about this podcast and, enjoy!

So in today’s episode we’ll focus on the word ‘nothing’ for a little bit. First of all, listen to it again: nothing. Did you notice I did not say “NÓ-thing”? I said it more like “nothing”. Just something to notice – we speak Portuguese as our native language and because of the sounds of Portuguese, we would tend to read a word such as nothing this way: NÓ-thing. So pay attention from now on every time you come across this word, hopefully because you’ve heard it: nothing.

And here’s something people say a lot – it’s our first expression of today: it’s nothing personal. When someone says that to you, they’re trying to tell you that whatever behaviour they’ve had or decision they’ve made was not meant to criticise or offend you. It doesn’t mean you’re not a good person or whatever quality may be related to that decision. It doesn’t even mean that they don’t like you. They may have made their decision purely based on objective factors.

For example, let’s take a job interview. You had a great time with the interviewer, you guys hit it off and chatted for twenty minutes, uninterruptedly. You thought “It’s in the bag”. But then you get a call from that same person two days later, saying that they had a look at your resumé and realised that they need a couple of skills for the position… and, unfortunately, at this time these are skills that you don’t possess. “It’s nothing personal”, the interviewer says. “I liked you as a candidate but we really need those skills”.

Obviously sometimes people will say that in an insincere or sarcastic way. Of course! If you watch lots of American films or TV shows you’ve probably come across it before. Example: someone says “Hey, we don’t need your services anymore. Nothing personal!” when it’s obvious they have made that decision because maybe you brought carrot cake to work the day before and didn’t ask your coworkers if they wanted a bite. You get the picture. By the way, that reminds me of a somewhat similar expression, no offense, which has been featured in a previous episode – have a listen.

And here’s another one that I’ve heard a lot in the past few years: it’s nothing to write home about. When you say something is nothing to write home about, what you’re saying is… this thing I’m talking about? It’s nothing special. It’s really unremarkable, or not that great. If I were to sit down and write a letter to my folks back home, I would certainly not include that bit of news in my letter – because it’s nothing to write home about, really.

Can you think about something in your life right now that would make you say – it’s nothing to write home about? Maybe it’s your cell phone. It may be your bicycle, or the food place you go to for lunch, or the performance of your coworker. Let me know what you come up with, and talk to you next time!

Key expressions

Vocabulary

You guys hit it off = vocês se deram muito bem

It’s in the bag = está no papo

You get the picture = (acho que) você entende

Hi. What’s up?

Hoje, no podcast, eu falo sobre maneiras de dizer em inglês “vou nessa”. Não perca!

Hi. What’s up? You’re listening to the new episode of the Inglês Online podcast. Thank you for telling everyone you know about this podcast and, enjoy!

So today let’s review a few different ways to let other people know that you’re leaving. Most of these are very informal, so they’re not idioms that you would normally say in a business environment, unless you were sure it’d be ok to do so. And again, this is to let people know that you’re leaving somewhere, that you are saying good-bye, that you’re going somewhere else. And now that I think of it, in Brazil we have lots of ways to say that we’re leaving, right? Everyone has a favourite one. Maybe all you do is get up and say “Bye” – I don’t know. Or maybe you’re one of those people who spend ten minutes saying good-bye? I mean, with all those people to hug and kiss, it can take a while. Whatever the case, I think each one of us have our own way of saying farewell.

So our first expression of today is a simple one, and it’s an idiom that I, myself, use a lot: “I’m taking off”. Taking off is something airplanes do… but people can say that too. “I’m going to take off now”. Where’s Jenny? Oh, she took off ten minutes ago. Or, “Everyone, I gotta take off or I’ll be late for class. Bye.”

And when I first moved to London I met someone who would frequently say “I’m going to shoot off now” or just “I got to shoot off” – same meaning as take off. And there’s a way to tell people not only that you’re leaving but let them know where you’re headed – maybe you’re familiar with this one: I’m off to the hairdresser’s. We’re off to the meeting now. “Bye, we’re off to see the play.”

However, there’s something an old landlady of mine used to ask me whenever she saw me heading toward the front door: “Ana, are you off out?” She wanted to know if was heading out, if was leaving the house to go somewhere. So I would reply “Yes, I’m off out” or “Yeah, I’m off to the supermarket” or something. So there you go: “off out” is something you can say to just let people know you’re leaving the house and going out somewhere.

Now here’s another one I’ve heard people say here and there: “Ok, I’ll love you and leave you now. Bye”. It will have sounded a bit funny if that’s the first time you’ve heard it, but that’s exactly how the expression goes: I’ll love you and leave you, or I must love you and leave you. And actually it is sort of a humorous expression, so, again, you wouldn’t say that in a more formal environment. Other than that, feel free to say it to your friends… “Everyone, great catching up with you all but I got to love you and leave you.”

So which ones have you heard for the first time today? Did you know all these ways to basically say good-bye? Which one’s your favourite? Let me know in the comments and talk to you next time!

Key expressions

Vocabulary

landlady = proprietária da casa onde eu morava (e pagava aluguel)

How have you been?

Hoje, no podcast, eu falo sobre algumas expressões com a palavra CLOCK, todas – como sempre – muito comuns entre os falantes nativos.

How have you been? You’re listening to the new episode of the Inglês Online podcast. Thank you for telling everyone you know about this podcast and, enjoy!

So today let’s talk a little bit about some vocabulary specific to clocks. Sure, ‘clock’ is a very basic word and one that English students learn in their first few lessons… I know. But there’s other stuff that is clock-related, and not talked about that often. So here we go: first of all, every non-digital clock has two hands. Two hands. There’s the hour hand, which is the little hand and it points to the hours. Then there’s the minute hand, which is the big hand, and it points to the minutes.

By now you now what we call the two hands of a clock in Portuguese. So, for example: if it’s three o’clock, the minute hand of a clock will be pointing to the number twelve, and the hour hand of the clock will be pointing to three. If it’s a quarter to eleven, the big hand, or minute hand, will be pointing to nine, and the little hand, or hour hand, will be pointing to the vicinity of number eleven – in fifteen minutes, it will be pointing exactly to eleven. So look to a wall clock near you: what time is it, and what numbers are the hands of the clock pointing to? Right now, for me, it’s almost noon. Almost 12PM. Ten minutes to noon, to be more precise. So the minute hand is pointing at the number ten, and the hour hand is pointing at twelve.

Alright – so, with that bit of business taken care of, let’s take a look at the terms clockwise and counterclockwise. When something is done clockwise, or when something happens clockwise, that means it happens in the direction that the hands of a clock move. Let’s say you’re with a bunch of people in a room doing some kind of group activity and the leader of the activity says “OK, now let’s all form a circle and start slowly moving clockwise round the room.” So now you have all formed a circle, and you and everyone else then took a step to the left and started moving in the same direction the hands of a clock rotate. If you’re having trouble picturing what I’m saying, just imagine a clock on the floor, and then imagine the group formed a circle around that clock. Now imagine the direction in which the minute hand of that clock would move as time passes – so when the group moves clockwise, they’ll be going in the same direction of the movement of the minute hand.

I’m sure it won’t be hard for you to understand what counterclockwise means. Yep, that’s the direction that is opposite to the rotating hands of a clock. So if you’re with the same group in a room and the activity leader says “Ok, so let’s now move counterclockwise round the room” you would all take a step to the right and start moving in the opposite direction to the rotation of the hands of a clock.

So before we wrap up, here’s one other idiom that is very, very common: round the clock, meaning non-stop, day and night, continuously. Sometimes people work on something round the clock – for example, when a deadline is approaching. Or when someone is being watched by the police – the police will have them watched round the clock.

So look at a clock right now – what numbers are the hands pointing to? Let me know and talk to you next time!

Key expressions

Vocabulary

with that bit of business taken care of = com isso resolvido, com essa parte esclarecida (não precisa ser a respeito de “negócios” necessariamente)

How’s it going?

Hoje, no podcast, eu falo sobre cantadas em inglês que eu achei engraçadas… Não perca.

How’s it going? You’re listening to the new episode of the Inglês Online podcast. Thank you for telling everyone you know about this podcast and, enjoy.

So how about today we have our podcast about a fun topic: funny pick-up lines! Yes, pick-up lines. Or, as we call them in Brazil, “cantadas”. And when I say funny, obviously some people will think they’re funny; others will think they’re cheesy or just plain distasteful. Who knows? Keep listening and tell me what you think. All we really know is that the person saying the pick-up line is openly showing their interest in you.

One more thing before we start: you can say pick-up lines or chat-up lines – same thing. Also, I’ve collected the examples I’m giving you in this episode from a few different sites so if you’d like to see more, just do an online search for “pick-up lines”. You’ll find a lot.

Alright, so how about this one: Your hand looks heavy. Let me hold it for you. A bit cheeky if it’s coming from a stranger, is what I think. So here’s a list of my “favourite” ones, so to speak:

Come live in my heart, and pay no rent.

We’re not socks, but I think we’d make a great pair.

I hope there’s a fire truck nearby, ’cause you’re smoking!

Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?

If I were a cat, I would spend all 7 lives with you.

What do you think so far? Good? Seriously, if you’re a girl – what would your reaction be if someone you barely know said those to you? Has anyone ever approached you with a cheesy or funny pick-up line? In my case, I only remember that happening in one instance, seriously: I was walking my dog, and a guy said something along the lines of “If I say woof-woof will you take me home?” Everyone, I swear he said that, and I found it kind of funny. I still do.

From the list of pick-up lines I just read, I think my favourite one was “Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes”. I mean, I would just burst out laughing if someone said that to me – it’s too funny. So let me give you another short list of lines:

You’re so hot, I could bake cookies on you.

You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?

Hey, my name is Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight? 

Do you know what’s on the menu? Me ‘n’ u.

OK, I don’t know about you, but if I heard any of those I’d laugh. I guess any guy saying these lines would be prepared for the girl to laugh. Now, I’ve only selected a few funny ones, but I would like to hear from guys and girls what your experience with this is in real life. Have you actually used a funny chat-up line on someone you barely knew? What was their reaction?

I guess it’s a lot more common for men to say that to girls, so what about you, ladies? What have guys said to you, and how did you react? Please let me know in the comments, and talk to you next time!

Vocabulary

plain distasteful = simplesmente de mau gosto

cheeky = um pouco insolente mas pode ser bem-humorado ao mesmo tempo

smoking = atraente, linda