Halloween is right around the corner, and that puts many Christians into a tizzy with the arguments between those who say “it’s harmless fun to dress up and give candy to kids” and those who say “it’s evil and satanic—have nothing to do with it.” And in between is a broad spectrum of opinions including those who hand out candy with tracts, using the day as an opportunity to witness, churches who have ‘Harvest Parties’ to give a non-demonic alternative for kids to dress up, or who host “trunk or treats” where they have members hand out candy from their cars in the church parking lot. And if you think this is a big fuss about nothing, just wait—Christmas is right around the corner, where Christian opinions range from “Christmas trees are idols” to James Dobson’s doing the “Santa” thing with his kids! Here with us today to help us sort all this out is teacher and author of the book Broken Yet Blessed, Kathi McCarty.

 

Table Talk Notes

Every culture has its myths

* Tooth Fairy

* Easter Bunny

* Santa Claus

* Clean underwear

* Seems harmless enough until you read Jn 8:32 32 and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

 

The whopper of myths

“It doesn’t matter what you believe, as long as you’re sincere.”

 

‘PC’ and ‘tolerance’ are its watchwords

You can be sincere, but sincerely wrong. To live life to its fullest (Jn 10:10 10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.) takes more than sincerity, it takes truth.

“Don’t impose your values on me!”

 

Reality check #1

I make the choice to believe what I do. Romans 1:25 tells us that “they exchanged the truth for a lie…”

* Don’t blame others

* God tells us to “choose this day….”

* We can replace a false (ungodly) belief with the truth – the Word of God

 

Reality check #2

Beliefs determine my behavior. Proverbs 4:23 says to “watch over your heart with all diligence for from it flow the springs of life.” Everything we do has a belief behind it.

* I’m unlovable / I act unlovable

* Others can’t be trusted / I put up walls

* God is unconcerned / I don’t pray

* God is out to get me / I’ll avoid God

 

Reality check #3

The world has taught me many false and ungodly beliefs. John 8:44 says that the devil “ is a liar & the father of lies” who plants ideas in our mind like…

* Ignorance is bliss

* You’re only human

* What you don’t know can’t hurt you

* I’ll believe it when I see it

 

Talk show mythology

* All your problems are somebody else’s fault

* Man is basically good & unselfish

* You’ll be happy when u get what u want

* All beliefs are equally valid

* World owes you happiness

* Answer lies within you

* Many ways to God, Jesus is just one.

 

The challenge

“Lord, show me where I have believed a lie….”

 

The encouragement

Jn 8:26 “…He who sent Me is true, and the things which I heard from Him, these I speak to the world…”

 

What we have learned so far

Every culture has its myths

Whopper myth: It doesn’t matter what u believe as long as you’re sincere

In order to live life to the full (Jn 10:10) we need to be more than sincere, we must be truth seekers and truth revealers.

 

Reality checks so far

* I choose to believe what I do

* God said “Choose this day….”

* Beliefs determine my behavior

* Every action has a belief behind it

* World has taught me many false beliefs

We all know the verse, “Judge not lest ye be judged”—it’s brought up, many times by fellow Christians, to silence us from commenting on sin and evil in society today. But is that really what Jesus intended for us to take from that verse? As with everything in the bible, the key is context, context, context!

We’ll also look at the difference between examining and judging a person’s fruit, and what we are NEVER to do: pronouncing judgment on someone’s soul!

 

Table Talk Notes

Matthew 7:1-6 says, “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye. Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you.”

 

A lot of professing Christians are confused on the subject of judging

Some have fallen for the lies that God will not judge unrepentant sinners.  They believe that “a loving God would never send anyone to hell”. In reality, the Bible is clear that a single sin is enough to condemn us before a Just, Righteous and Holy God—and that every man deserves eternal separation from God. But God provided a way out: Confession and repentance as a result of humility.

The Word of God is clear that man in his sinful nature is hopelessly sinful and lost—and incapable of changing on his own.  That all deserve eternal separation from God for eternity.  But God provided a way for eternal life with Him through complete faith and trust in Jesus Christ alone.  Christians also get confused on if—and how—we are to “judge” one another as Christians.  Some say we should never judge the actions of another—others walk around judging and condemning other believers if they do something we believe is sin.  The key is to understand how the Bible defines the word “judge”

 

The New Testament uses two primary words for judge

Krino: “to try, condemn and punish”. (Taking justice into our hands regarding determining the salvation of others)

Anakrino: “to scrutinize, investigate, interrogate and determine”.  (Discern)

 

Matthew 7:1 warns us against krino.  Several times the Apostle Paul tells us to anakrino one another.

Wesley’s commentary on verse 6:  Here is another instance of that transposition, where of the two things proposed, the latter is first treated of. Give not – to dogs – lest turning they rend you: Cast not – to swine – lest they trample them under foot. Yet even then, when the beam is cast out of thine own eye, Give not – That is, talk not of the deep things of God to those whom you know to be wallowing in sin. neither declare the great things God hath done for your soul to the profane, furious, persecuting wretches. Talk not of perfection, for instance, to the former; not of your experience to the latter. But our Lord does in nowise forbid us to reprove, as occasion is, both the one and the other.

 

Removing the log from our own eye first

Psalm 139:23-24

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart!

Try me and know my thoughts!

24 And see if there be any grievous way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting!

Romans 2:1-3 | Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things. We know that the judgment of God rightly falls on those who practice such things.

If I could ask you all if you are worried about something right now, I bet many of you, if not most, would have to say “Yes.” We have no shortage of things we could worry about these days: finances, health, elections, our kids, our marriages…but for Christians, worry is something we should never do. Sound impossible? Well in today’s lesson, “Living a Worry-Free Life,” our favorite teacher is back with us to tell us exactly how to do just that. Author of the book Broken Yet Blessed, we welcome back Kathi McCarty.

 

Table Talk Notes

Stats on Worry/Anxiety

40% of the time we worry about things that will never happen

30% of our worries are about things that can’t be changed

12% of our worry centers on criticism, mostly untrue, or made by people who don’t even really know us

10% of our worries relate to health, which worsen when we continue to worry

8% of our worries are legitimate concerns which we can actually do something about.

 

Matt 6:24-34 |  “No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money. “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

 

Jesus commands that we not be anxious

“For this reason, I say to you, do not (you must not) be anxious…” For what “reason?” We have a good Father….

Phil 4:6 “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God”

1 Pet 5:7 “Give all your worries to God; He cares for you.”

worries – Gr Merimna – to have a double mind; a split devotion (two thoughts can’t occupy same space – the more important one takes precedence)

 

What does our worrying say to the world?

Worry exhibits a lack of trust in God

Matt 6: Our Father gives us our daily bread

Phil 4: Our Father supplies all of our needs

 

Worry affects our temple Don Colbert,  “Deadly Emotions”

Job 5:2 “To worry yourself to death…would be a foolish, senseless thing to do”

 

Worry literally changes our biochemistry

 

Worry hinders our witness

Titus 2:10 – we need to make Jesus & His teachings attractive to people

 

What causes us to worry?

1. The Affluence of our Age

Ecc 5:12 “The sleep of a laborer is sweet, but the abundance of a rich man provides him no rest.” (Our security cannot be in our money/belongings or the recognition they get from the world)

 

2. The Influence of the Media (as a man thinks…)

Junk in, junk out. Unplug world, plug in to Jesus.

I think we’ve all done it at one time or another: saying something we later regret.  Or maybe it was just a misunderstanding that our spouse took it the wrong way. Either way, these things can cause a cascade of hurt feelings, sometimes lasting for weeks, months or even permanently if it’s never addressed.  It can put a wall between you two, and even affect your relationship with God.  So how do you avoid such potholes? Let’s talk about it.

 

Table Talk Notes

* The busyness of life and the pursuit of financial wealth have many of us so busy that we are not taking the time to have meaningful communication with one another as spouses.  We come home from work, eat dinner and do something to “unwind” like flopping in front of the television for 3-4 hours—and then we go to sleep.

* Marriages are like owning an automobile.  The best automobile needs regular care and maintenance or it will break down and turn to junk.  Marriages need regular maintenance—and praying together, talking, sharing and learning about each other is the best maintenance plan available to keep our marriages strong and protected against the enemy who wants to destroy or damage marriages.

 

The important significance of Christian marriage and how it relates to the gospel of salvation as recorded by the Apostle Paul

Ephesians 5:25-33 | “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

 

Satan wants to damage or destroy Christian marriages because they represent the relationship between Jesus Christ as husband and the church as his bride.  He thinks if he can damage or minimize marriage he can damage the church.

 

You are no longer separate individuals—you are one as husband and wife

Matthew 19:4-6 | “He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

* When we understand this truth, communication goes from a competition to cooperation where the goal is to make the marriage better.  We realize if I “gain” something at your expense, I have really lost, not gained anything.

* When our flesh is in control of our thought process it will seek to gain at the expense of our spouse or others.  The world is teaching us that there must be winners and losers in communication—that the only way I can gain is if you lose.  The teaching from Jesus on marriage clearly shows us this is foolish.

 

Principle #1: Unless both spouses grow and gain from communication, both lose since the two are one.

On average, an American woman speaks 20,000 words a day.  The average American male speaks about 7,000 words per day.  It is no wonder the Bible speaks volumes about the words we speak.

 

Proverbs 10:19 | “When words are many, transgression is not lacking,

THIS IS A CLASSIC EPISODE OF TABLE TALK WITH MIKE & NANCY.

I admit it—I like being in control.

And if you’re honest with yourself, I bet you like it too—that feeling of power, of security, of “no surprises” that makes us think we’re safe and we have it all together.  But if we examine our lives from God’s standpoint, we’d have to acknowledge that the control we think we have over our lives, especially our circumstances, is really an illusion.  So let’s take a closer look at the ways we try to control and stay in control, but also at those things that actually are in our control.

 

Table Talk Notes

Eve coveted complete control in the Garden.

Genesis 3:4-5 | But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

God cursed all women with a desire to control our husbands, but instead being controlled.

Genesis 3:16 | To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be for (against) your husband, and he shall rule over you.”

 

Things we try to CONTROL

* Our Spouse:  bullying (Nancy’s first marriage) or nagging, manipulating

* Our Children (and all things affecting them):

• “helicopter parenting”, incl. Sports (play MY kid—you’re costing him a sports scholarship), hyper-protection or indulging all whims

• pressuring adult kids on school & career choices, having children, holidays, interfering in their marriages (preventing “cleaving”)

• failing to teach them responsibility, constantly “bailing them out” instead

* Our Health:  going beyond “smart choices” to obsess on your diet, exercise or over-supplementing—doing whatever is newly-touted to prevent cancer, Alzheimer’s or heart disease:  Dave Wager’s testimony (from “superman” to heart infection)  And notice how many joggers drop dead (heart)? Jim Fixx, founder of PowerBar, etc: http://www.unstoppablestrength.com/long-distance-running-can-kill-you/

* Our Image: “keeping up with the Joneses”, “Sister Super Christian”

 

Prov 21:6 | The getting of treasures by a lying tongue is a fleeting vapor and a snare of death.

James 4:1-6 | What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, “He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us”? But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”

* Our Security: Terrorism or Financial Security

• Matt 6:19-21, 24 | “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also… “No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.

* Our circumstances: encompasses all of the above—trying to do, eat, say just the right things (education, work, church,

I don’t know about you fellas, but I don’t think I know any woman who didn’t grow up hoping for her Prince Charming to swoop in and take her to his castle.  Disney indoctrinated us early on to the idea of True Love, always confirmed at first sight of course, and of the power of that True Love’s first kiss.  And most of us as adults went searching for that elusive fairy tale, ending up cynical and disillusioned by its unattainability.  Until I became a Christian, I didn’t realize how warped that romantic ideal is, and how far away it is from genuine love. Today we’re talking about Love—not Love as the world defines it, but as God defines it.

 

Table Talk Notes

Have you found yourself desperately looking for love “in all the wrong places?”

 

Women look at dating/physical relationships differently than men

Genesis 3:16 | To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be contrary to (toward, or against) your husband, but he shall rule over you.”

How men look at dating/physical relationships:

Genesis 3:17-19 | And to Adam he said, “Because you have listened to the voice of your wife and have eaten of the tree of which I commanded you, ‘You shall not eat of it,’ cursed is the ground because of you; in pain you shall eat of it all the days of your life; thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you; and you shall eat the plants of the field. By the sweat of your face you shall eat bread, till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; for you are dust, and to dust you shall return.”

 

Both desire to be strong and have what it takes—cursed with futility and fails to act out of fear of failure

Often Men confuse sex and love, and women use sex to get love.

 

Definitions of Love

Webster’s: “a feeling of strong or constant affection for a person; attraction that includes sexual desire; the strong affection felt by people who have a romantic relationship”—note the emphasis on feelings and chemistry

Greek:

* Eros:  love, mostly of the sexual passion

* Phileo:  to be a friend to (fond of [an individual or an object]), usually between equals; that is, have affection for (denoting personal attachment, as a matter of sentiment or feeling; of the heart; specifically to kiss (as a mark of tenderness): – kiss, love.

* Storge:  love, affection, especially of parents and children; the common or natural empathy—rarely used in ancient works, often exclusively a description of relationships within a family

* Agape:  the unconditional love of God for His children; to love (in a social or moral sense); involving the judgment and the deliberate assent of the will as a matter of principle, duty and propriety: of the head rather than of the heart; Thomas Aquinas: “to will the good of another”–charity

* Charity: means “benevolence”—giving and expecting nothing in return.

 

What did Jesus gain by loving us and going to the cross?

We need to be honest with ourselves in how we view “love.” Is it a love that expects nothing in return? Or is it a conditional love where we secretly hope for something in return?

 

“Romantic” (i.e. physical) love is based on emotion and chemistry—it is fleeting and will NOT withstand trials and opposition

“Friendship” (i.e. affection or fondness) is often reciprocal, based on harmony & similitude, and likewise may not withstand trials (disharmony), time or distance

True Love is a choice.  A choice often to put the other’s needs above your own.

 

(Darby translation) John 21: 15-19 | When therefore they had dined, Jesus says to Simon Peter, Simon, [son] of Jonas, lovest thou me more than these? He says to him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I am attached to thee. He says to him,