July 12, 2016

PodCastle 424: Betty and the Squelchy Saurus

* Author : Caroline M. Yoachim

* Narrator : Kim Rogers

* Host : Graeme Dunlop

* Audio Producer : Peter Wood

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First published in Fireside Magazine, Issue 28.

Rated PG.

Betty and the Squelchy Saurus

by Caroline M. Yoachim

Betty was hanging wet towels on the clothesline when a faded blue Plymouth Roadking came up the drive. Someone had donated the car to the Six Sisters orphanage back in 1952, and Sister Mary Margaret was the only nun who knew how to drive it.

A new girl got out of the car–maybe five years old, with brown hair and lots of freckles. Skittish little thing, probably terrified of monsters. It’d be no problem getting her to follow the rules. Betty hung the last towel and wiped her hands on her skirt.

“Since you’re done, you may show Catherine around the orphanage,” Sister Mary Margaret said.

“Yes, Sister.” Betty grabbed Catherine’s hand and pulled her inside. “Come on. You’ll be sleeping on the third floor, but you gotta learn the rules first.”

“Mary Margaret told me the rules in the car.”

“Sister Mary Margaret,” Betty corrected the younger girl. “These are different rules. These rules will keep you from being eaten.”

Catherine had no answer to that. Betty took her to the second-floor room she shared with Janet. The walls were bare and both beds were neatly made. Betty knocked on the closet door three times, paused, then pulled the door open. Taped to the inside of the door was a sheet of blue-lined paper covered in small slanty handwriting.

“This is the Treaty of the Bathroom Alcove,” Betty said. “It keeps you safe from monsters, so pay attention.”

The rules had been written in pencil by the Giant Unsquishable Cockroach who lived in the coat closet in the front hall. The treaty had been signed in the bathroom alcove because that was neutral territory–not quite a closet because it had no door, but kind of like a closet because the nuns stored towels in there.

Betty read the treaty out loud:

* Closets and under the beds are monster territory. Children may obtain items from the closets during daylight hours, as long as they knock before entering. Items that fall under the bed should be considered lost forever.

* Monsters must not be seen during daylight hours. Monsters are free to roam the orphanage at any hour of the day or night, so long as they are not seen.

* Monsters may not eat children during daylight hours.

* Monsters may eat children at night ONLY if the child (or any portion thereof) leaves the safety of its bed.

* Children may ask adults to check for monsters under the bed or inside the closet. However:

* Children may not, under any circumstances, request that an adult drag a monster out of its territory to shoot or otherwise kill the monster. Violation of rule #6 will release the monsters from the terms of this treaty.

The treaty was signed by Roach and by Allison Michaels, who lived in Betty’s room until last year, when she got adopted. One corner of the paper was missing, and Betty suspected that Squelchy Saurus–the monster that lived in her closet–had eaten it. Squelchy was fond of paper.

“Do you understand the rules?” Betty asked.

Catherine nodded,

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