Some personal thoughts today and a challenge as I sit with what I see as a positive shift in our culture over the past few weeks. Welcome all to the post for Wednesday, June 10, 2020, my name is Paul Capps, pastor. As a missionary kid, I feel more at home here at Peachtree Baptist Church than almost any church I’ve been to in the United States. But I am white. And I grew up in Singapore and Malaysia not only with privilege, but as a privileged minority. When my mother strolled me through the wet market in Penang, Malaysia as an infant, people would stop and not only coo over me, but want to touch and rub my blond hair, apparently for good luck. I think since 1973 those kinds of customs have shifted some, but at the time, I stood out for all the right reasons. And yes, I had blond hair until I was about three, when my mom finally decided to give me a haircut.
From Malaysia to Singapore was not too different, especially from the outside looking in, but it was in my teen years there that I began to realize that I was not only different but that I was treated differently. But I never really did anything about it. It was just the way things were. My high school friends from Singapore American School would go out on weekends to the hawker centers as young as 14 and order beer without worry. Though 18 is the legal drinking age, whatever the reason, no ID was needed. And let’s talk about the school. While my youth group friends in Singaporean schools struggled mightily with some of the highest standards in the world, I had a pretty easy time in my private school surrounded by not only about 40% other white kids, but majority international kids of diplomats and business people.
The only time I ever remember being called out for being white was at an ice cream store, and that was only after returning to Singapore for the summer in between freshmen and sophomore college years. And even then it was probably only because they didn’t think that I knew the slur because they were speaking Hokkien. When ordering, the cashier called to the back saying, among other words I didn’t understand, ‘ang mo,’ which literally translates, ‘red hair.’ Sometimes they tack on ‘kui’ at the end, which means devil. It was a term that was developed during the 17th century by people in Fujian, China when the Dutch East India Company was doing some pretty devilish colonialist things. And it has stuck all these years.
It’s something I’m still working out, my white privilege. I know I have it here in the US, and I know I had it growing up in Southeast Asia. What makes it harder for me personally is that I never really recognized it much. I believe I was raised without racial bias, and I was definitely educated about respecting differences. I distinctly remember in 7th grade making a derogatory stereotype about an Indian man who was walking down the sidewalk talking to himself. This was before mobile phones and ear pieces. My father was very quick to give me a lesson about not only stereotyping but the sin of racial stereotyping. It’s a lesson I still carry.
There’s a lot more I could say about the complexities of cultural difference in my own experience, but suffice it to say that I am so grateful to be the pastor of this international church. And yet I so often feel completely unworthy of the role. As we work out our time together, I would want everyone to know that I am still learning what it means to be a faithful representative of Jesus. I hope we all are, but I think it’s more important than ever for me and those of us who are white to be constantly aware of our privilege so that we can be more open to God’s leadership. Global Christianity is shifting, and shifting fast, and that’s a good thing. I really hope you’ll read the article I’ve attached today from the Center for the Study of Global Christianity at Gordon-Conwell. It is a reminder for me that all churches need to be working harder for racial justice and that we all need to be learning from those that God is now using to reach the world with the love of Jesus, mostly in the global south. It is important to me that we not only look like the world, but that we strive to understand it. As a person of privilege, it is a task I do not take lightly and most of the time, it feels as exciting as it does overwhelming. But I believe we need to be witnesses in our Jerusalem as a global congregation and that in part means a responsibility to live into our context here in Atlanta. We need to better understand the African-American experience, as an example. At the same time, we must look at ourselves and see the trail that leads back so often to colonialism, sometimes even of the missionary variety. We need to remember that starting in the 16th century, four out the six continents in the world were colonized by white people. That means that even as an international congregation, we bear the stain of that trail. We need to acknowledge that much of the Chrisitan witness over the centuries has been harmed and that God is doing new things in other places as Global Christianity shifts away from Europe and North America. As Dr. Zurlo said, “Despite the demographic reality, many White Protestant Evangelical Christians in this country think they’re the center of the story. American history has indeed been written this way up until very recently.”
Sometimes I fear that when Christ returns he will tell me, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’ In the article, Dr. Zurlo has a list of recommended books for the purposes of better understanding and living into the redemption to which we are called. I am sorting through the books, but I think it would be a good idea to study one of them together. If you have any preferences, let me know and we’ll get started, even if it’s just two or three of us.