* Trigger warning: Spiritual abuse, neglect, emotional/physical abuse * 

This week I'm joined by my friend MJ to discuss the experience of living with both C-PTSD and autism, and the crossovers between them. 

Both MJ and I have daily lived experience of both and we discuss that here.  We talk about the conditions themselves & what they look like, the differences and similarities, and how they cross over. We also discuss masking in depth and what that can look like, and how it can differ depending on individual or gender.

We also share our stories, how our trauma impacted us & how some trauma responses have interconnected with our lives as autistic people. Finally, we discuss ways we've learned to survive and stay healthy and try to offer hope to others through our experience.  

Today I'm joined by Carolyn Kiel, who hosts the award winning podcast "Beyond 6 Seconds".

For over 200 episodes Carolyn has heard people share their nuerodivergent stories, from people ADHD, to autistic people, those with physical and other kinds of disabilities and a lot more.

In this episode, recorded in early 2025, she shares her experiences and what she's learned from these conversations & as an autistic / ADHD / CPTSD person I share my experiences alongside those. Its a fascinating insight into those lived experiences.

**Trigger Warning: Epstein Files**

Trace Bell returns this week for a discussion on whats happening in the world right now, and the age of disclosure humanity is entering into.

Trace shares his perspectives on the Epstein files having been released, with real life consequences all over the world, and the upcoming release of government files on UFOs & aliens.

We also talk about the harm of unfounded conspiracy theories, and how actual evidence can tell us far more about what's going on in the world & what may happen in future.

This week sees the first of consecutive episodes with my friend Trace Bell. In this episode, we discuss the idea that the seeds of transformation and change, are somehow embedded in the darkness we're experiencing.

Trace and I look at the world as it is, at history both in terms of politics, culture, and consciousness, and explore how darkness is and always has been its own undoing.

We also discuss the work of William Strauss & Neil Howe, about the four turns of society. We examine what cycles of history can teach us about what is happening now and will happen in the future - and how this can give us hope.

Becky Castle Miller joins me today to discuss and explore Jesus emotions. We focus in on several stories of Jesus where we see his his vulnerability and where he expresses the deepest of human emotion.

We talk about how he expresses grief, fear, anxiety and love during the course of his life, and his darkest moments.

Becky and I also explore how he turns the power of grief to perform his biggest sign, and how we see that it is in his most human, vulnerable moments, his true divinity is expressed .

The podcast returns with one half the musical duo JulyDa joining me to talk about their upcoming album Refuge, and the creative and spiritual journey behind it. 

We delve into the connections between creativity and spirituality, how art connects us with the divine and ourselves, creative risk & how making art can heal us & help us grow. 

Plus, there's also a small exclusive clip of the first single from their new album, called "Wait for the Lord". 

(Trigger Warning: Spiritual Abuse)

Today is the 400th episode of the Poema Podcast! In September 2015 I began this show out of pure curiosity to explore a new creative medium. 10 years and a name change later, I've interviewed many many people on all sorts of topics ranging from grief, movies, music, death, mental health, spirituality, demisexuality and more.

Today, in an extended anniversary episode, my beloved friend MJ Weissenberger interviews me about the origins of the podcast, why I chose the name, the numerology around 4 and 400, as well as my creative journey.

I also share my story of spiritual abuse with YWAM for the first time publicly, and how this impacted my life & was impacted by grief.

It's been a wild ride to 400 episodes, and there's more to come! This is the last episode of 2025, but there's new episodes coming in 2026. 

Trigger Warning: Narcissistic abuse.

This week, qualified counsellor and therapist Aly Rae joins me to discuss behaviours related to autism, and to narcissism. From their own lived experience of narcissistic abuse, and professional experience of working with autistic people, they share what the lived experience of autism can be like, and how some autistic traits can be confused with narcissism. 

They also explain the difference between narcissism and narcissistic behaviours or traits, which can be displayed by certain personality types separately from an actual diagnosis of narcissism. 

Finally, Aly provides helpful tools for autistic people - like her, myself and many others - to navigate the world we all live in, and a system which is not designed for us.

Author Alice Hewson returns to the podcast today to go deeper into exploring and discussing our lived experiences as autistic people and with rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD).

Today we go deeper into RSD, something common in autistic people. We talk about what it is, and our lived experiences of it, and how we have learned to live with it, and even find joy in the midst of all the challenges it and being autistic can bring. 

This week my friend Jenna returns to the show and in this episode we discuss the most recent series of Doctor Who, and the show as a whole.

Jenna and I explore the themes of grief, fear and power which come up in the recent series and the 15th Doctor's journey. 

We also talk about how we've seen these themes come up in the show with previous Doctors and how they impact the Doctor's overall story. And how seeing the Doctor experience these things inspires and encourages us on our journey.

We then move on to share the reasons we love the show and what it means to us and to many others, and our hopes for its future.