**Trigger warning: Sexual abuse, purity culture**

My friend Lisa Mickey joins me on the show today, and we explore and discuss purity culture - the idea of sexual abstinence before marriage - and sexual ethics within the evangelical Christian church.

We explore the hugely damaging emotional, psychological, physical and spiritual consequences of this culture over  the last two decades, and the damage it's done to each of us and others, and what it means to explore our sexuality in a healthy way, how to deconstruct and reconstruct our sexuality, and have a healthy sexual identity which walks hand in hand with our spiritual journey. 

**Trigger Warning - Emotional, Physical, Sexual & Spiritual Abuse**

I'm delighted to welcome my friend Jayla Damaris to the show this week. Jayla shares her powerful, traumatic, painful story of growing up in conservative evangelical Christianity, abuse she suffered as a child, breaking free to build a new life. And then, finding herself rejected and abused spiritually, emotionally and physically by her husband - and recovering from this and beginning life again.

This is a story of courage, a story about breaking free from an abusive past and the worst of patriarchy and evangelical Christianity. It's a long but much needed story, with a lot of lessons for all of us. 

You can support Jayla as she tries to raise funds to go back to Canada, at her Go Fund Me here: 

https://www.gofundme.com/gh8ge-get-jayla-back-to-toronto

Pastor & author Brandon Carleton joins me today, and shares his powerful story of deconstruction and reconstruction - with a very unique perspective. Brandon left traditional church, but still felt a call to explore spiritual community. So he  planted a church with his wife, but a church with a difference. 

Unlike other pastors, Brandon actually tells his members not to come if it's not for them. He puts no obligation, no guilt, no commitment on people to attend - instead of prioritising the good of the church, he prioritises people's individual journey, their needs, their welfare, over that of the church itself. The church exists to serve its members, not the other way around. 

Brandon and I discuss our own experiences of traditional evangelical Christianity and church, and find shared lessons from our respective journeys of deconstruction and reconstruction, and facing mental illness. We also discuss the humanity of Jesus, and what that tells us about his divine nature - and we find that there may well be hope yet for spiritual community. 

Brandan's memoir "Meaningful Again" is available on Amazon now.

Today my dear friend, LGBTQ activist and blogger Steve Doran, appears on the show. He shares the story of his experiences as an LGBTQ Christian in the evangelical church. 

We hear how he moved from a more traditional perspective even as an LGBTQ man himself, to becoming an advocate for more LGBTQ inclusion both in the church and in our wider culture. Steve courageously shares his coming out story, the painful experiences he has in parts of the church. We discuss how it affected his emotional and mental health, and how he came to find a new, inclusive faith community which accepts him as he is. 

Steve is now doing great advocate work and writes regularly on LGBTQ inclusion, and has a powerful story. 

My beloved friend Alexander Shaia returns to the Poema Podcast this week - and today we explore the historic pilgrims journey of the Camino in Spain. We explore the history and true meaning of the Camino - and it's lasting impact on the lives who engage in it. 

This leads into a wider discussion of the lost art of rites of passage - using the Camino as an example, Alexander discusses what a true rite of passage really is, the sacrifice involved, and how it's impact is as much if not more seen after the experience itself has finished, rather than just the period actively engaged in it.

Alexander and I explore the idea that true growth can only come through sacrifice, through a willingness to engage with our own pain rather than continue to numb it with the habits, addictions, and busyness of regular life - and how if we do engage in this process, we can discover true, authentic transformation and spiritual formation. 

My friend Daniel Skillman returns to the podcast today for a challenging, discomforting and inspiring discussion about non-dualistic thinking - and how binary, dualistic thinking is causing so much damage in both the church, politics and the world at large. 

Daniel and I explore the flaws in both the conservative and liberal traditions - which have less to do with what they believe (though some of that is questionable), but more how they believe. We look at how we see this demonstrated today in particularly in the US with the rise of Trump and reaction of the Christian and political left. We examine unhealthy, dualistic ways of dealing with the problems the world is facing today, why ultimately they don't work - and what might be a hopeful, constructive way forward. 

This is a powerful, challenging and thought-provoking episode - Daniel always has such wisdom and insight and speaks with such honesty. Take a listen. 

My beloved friend Becky Castle Miller returns to the podcast today, and we talk about two topics which are dear to both of us - spiritual deconstruction/reconstruction, and Doctor Who. 

Together we explore the character, history and world of Doctor Who, and how there are many aspects of him and his world which resonate with all of our journeys, and in particular deconstruction and reconstruction in our spirituality. We explore companions, and how we often have companions and friends for specific seasons, and in particular we explore the idea of regeneration, the cycle of life, death, and resurrection in the Doctor's own life, and how this connects with our idea of spiritual transformation. 

This was one of the most fun, insightful and personally transformational episodes I've done and I know you'll be inspired too. 

Today I'm delighted to welcome back my beloved friend Nora Speakman to the show! In this episode, Nora and I explore the writings of Joseph Campbell, on the power of myth and story. 

Campbell's work 'The Hero With A Thousand Faces' and exploration of the power of myth and how it influences our lives, and the hero's journey, has had a profound and wide impact on our culture, both in movies, books, spirituality and communication. 

Nora and I explore together the power of myth and story to shape our lives, how we can use story and myth to create better, healthier lives, how it impacts both our spiritual and creative journeys, our interactions with the divine and each other. We also discuss what impact it can have on our deconstruction and reconstruction journeys, and how we shape our lives. 

This is a huge topic to cover, and one I want to explore on the podcast in the coming months - it's had a profound impact on both myself and Nora, and I believe it's relevant for all of us. 

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My friend Rev Sarah Heath returns to the podcast today. This time Sarah reflects on the year she took out exploring 'Sonderlust' - finding her bliss, exploring her identity, where she wanted to work, issues with dating, and stepping out into the world and living - and sharing it all publicly on a podcast every two weeks . 

In this episode Sarah unpacks the lessons she's learned on her journey, and some of the experiences she has had - both joyful and painful, and some of the opportunities it's opened up for her. We discuss her work with a dating coach and how that's impacted not only her dating life, but her relationship with both herself and others. And we unpack how this journey has changed her, what she really feels passionate about and led to, and where her life is taking her next. 

Sarah's is a challenging and inspiring story, a story of risk, adventure and commitment to inner growth. Sarah has a lot of wisdom for us all on how to explore our own paths, and discover our true divine self.

I'm delighted to host Ryan O'Neal, otherwise known as Sleeping At Last, to the show. In today's jam packed episode we discuss the enneagram, Ryan's own spiritual journey, and the creative process and story behind Ryan's creation a series of songs for each Enneagram number.

We explore a little behind the enneagram, and Ryan shares how he discovered it, and how he's had to learn about all the different types other than his own, in such depth to create the amazing music in his Enneagram series. 

We also explore Ryan's own spiritual and creative journey, how this impacted his musical projects including the Atlas projects, and his unique creative process and vision for music that goes beyond traditional boundaries, and has its own specific creative arc. He also shares the hilarious story of how he was once at a private party with Rob Bell, but had no idea who he was.

This episode is an insight into the enneagram, the spiritual journey and above all into the creative life, and pursuing your own unique journey. Ryan is a great guy, with great wisdom & insight, it was real joy to speak with him.