https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myocardial_infarction

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation."

Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.

The frog says $30,000.

The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.

Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone"

As the Sun Stands Still

Waylander

Arise in glory, feel the power of the Sun

The land sparkles like emeralds

With every progeny of green

I can feel the grass grow,

Beneath my feet.

I can smell the bounty,

Yet to yield.

And the night fades so fast,

In a pre dawn sky,

Golden Lúgh,

Eternal eye.

Leap through the flames of

The fire upon the hill.

Today is the day when

The sun stands still.

May the rays of the sun

Energise, light your way

Feast, make marry,

On the longest day.

Dance skyclad by firelight

From dusk until dawn.

Celebration of life

Worship the Sun.

Partake of the gifts

The fruits of the land

As the God of the Sun

Walks with Anú, hand in hand.

The shadows shorten,

The sun climbs high,

Not a cloud to be seen,

In the bluest of skies.

Spirits of the land

Spirits of this place

Hear our call

Hear our cry.

I am the fire,

That burns within your soul,

I am the flame within,

That will never die.

I am the sacred light,

That makes your whole,

I am the mighty sun,

That will never rise.

Ingredients

* 1 quarter ham boneless, pre-cooked or smoked, refrigerated - ours was about 4 lbs.

* 1/2 c pineapple juice or fresh orange juice

* 1 c brown sugar

* 1/2 c honey

* 1/4 c water cold

* 3 tbsp cornstarch

* 1 onion sliced

* 4 sprigs fresh thyme

* 4-5 whole cloves optional

Instructions

* Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Place your boneless, sliced, quartered, pre cooked/smoked ham cut side down into your dutch oven.


* Slice your onion and sprinkle into pot. Push whole cloves into your ham if you want to add these for flavor.


* Whisk together your brown sugar, pineapple juice, and honey well and pour this on top of your ham.


* Lay fresh sprigs of thyme on top and around ham.


* Put lid on and put into oven. Bake a smoked ham for 15 minutes per pound approximately or until internal temp. taken in the middle of your ham reaches 145 degrees. (refer to cook time chart in post, time depends on type of ham you have). Baste half way through if you're able.


* Take ham out and put on to a cutting board, allow it to rest while you are making ham glaze.


* Take out and discard sprigs of thyme. Take onions out and put into a bowl to serve on the side.


* Put dutch oven on your stovetop on medium heat (or pour liquid into a small pot if you'd rather). In a small bowl combine 1/4 c. cold water and 3 tbsp of cornstarch. Whisk together.


* Once ham liquid bubbles consistently, pour your cornstarch mixture into the pot and stir.


* Continue to stir as it thickens (won't take much longer than a minute or so to reach a thick consistency once it's continually bubbling). Remove from heat and pour into a gravy boat to serve on the table and pour on top of ham slices.


* Slice your ham if it isn't already and serve along side ham glaze and onions.

Dear Loser. [Chris!!!!! I thought you liked me you said it yourself I hate you People only say you asked me out because you needed a date fo the dance and that after the dance you would dump me well guess what basterti dumped you cause you were thinking that i cheated on you i didnt so like idiots that you guys are and so smart that you are you called me a slut. I hung up on you cause you tol me it on the phone because i guess you werent man enough to tell me it in my face lI hate you and als. guess what my mother hates you to that she the one who put me to do this , you come to breakfast every moming and I aint stupid you try to sit next to me and my lil bro who only 7YRS old hates you to and dont even know what you did and is always blocking your chair hahalI went out with another boy after you and after we were over you an idiot dares you even tried to ask me out again i didnt break up with him for you OKI I hate you ive always hated you spreading to everyone that i cheated on you when you just got jealouse that i used to talk to your friends to your so jealouse you automatically think i like them well guess maybe i do maybe i dont gotta problem you aint my boyfriend anymore I dont have to tell you who i like or who iam with and why got it i dont like you anymore the other day you told me that I have to tell you who I like or who Iam thinking of going out with its none of your buisness got that to you loserlI hate you an I know you still like me but i dont like you i dont care what your stupid friends say you make me touch your hands for stupid reasons u accidentally say you hugged me i will never like you again I HATE YOU I HATE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THIS DAMN WORLDDDDDDDDDD id rather date a spider or rat den u ur soooo waly and fat I!!!!!!||! And then saving that i loooooooved you pleassssel!!!!!||I/Your such n ass wipe n bastert!! I HATE

Y0000000000U

Well bi vou piece of shit i have more things to do right now then remember YOU

I drive up and down Harlem blocks

Iced out watch Knots in my socks

Cops think I'm selling rocks

Pulling me over to see if I'm drunk But I'm sober

They wouldn't fuck with me if I drove a Nova

Listen Columbo you're mad because your money come slow

And what you make in a year I make in one show

Now you wanna frisk me and search my ride

Call me all kinda names try to hurt my pride

You're just mad cause I'm a young cat, pockets dumb fat

Talkin' bout: Where the gun at?

I been there and done that

I'm through with that illegal life, I'm stayin legit

I love to see cars come cruisin' bye and playin' my shit

I walk around with six thou' without a pist-ol, my whole cliques wild

I'm rich pal, no more sticks I'm makin hits now

I drink Cristal, I'm through breakin' laws

I don't sell coke anymore, I do tours

So get that flashlight out of my face

To bring me down them Jakes'll do whatever it takes

Word up them federals got my phone and my house tapped

Praying that I fall for the mouse trap, I doubt that

Why do I end up in so much shit?

I done came way too far to be callin' it quits

Jake wanna lock me up, even though I'm legit

They can't stand to see a young brother pockets get thick

Love's Coming By Ella Wheeler Wilcox

She had looked for his coming as warriors come,
With the clash of arms and the bugle's call;
But he came instead with a stealthy tread,
Which she did not hear at all.

She had thought how his armor would blaze in the sun,
As he rode like a prince to claim his bride:
In the sweet dim light of the falling night
She found him at her side.

She had dreamed how the gaze of his strange, bold eye
Would wake her heart to a sudden glow:
She found in his face the familiar grace
Of a friend she used to know.

She had dreamed how his coming would stir her soul,
As the ocean is stirred by the wild storm's strife:
He brought her the balm of a heavenly calm,
And a peace which crowned her life.

The Thunder Mutters

       by John Clare


The thunder mutters louder & more loud
With quicker motion hay folks ply the rake
Ready to burst slow sails the pitch-black cloud
& all the gang a bigger haycock make

To sit beneath—the woodland winds awake
The drops so large wet all through’ in an hour
A tiny flood runs down the leaning rake
In the sweet hay yet dry the hay folks cower
& some beneath the wagon shun the shower.