Miles almost loses more than his fair share at the fruit machine while Bob tries to figure out the impossibilities of strong air currents.

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glad you could quench your thirst before we get started. Yeah. Thank you. Hey, everyone. Miles Tidal here with Static Radio Podcast 2026. Miles has got the suds, everybody. Yeah. I’ve got the suds. Oh, man. Just like SpongeBob, he’s got the suds. I look like the last crap you just took, man. Holy shit. Well… Let’s not. I mean, that’d be a lot of crap. I don’t think that I can have that kind of output. Yeah. Well, it’s a brand new year. Happy New Year, Miles. I’m sorry you’re feeling bad, but you are soldiering on. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. I’ll be all right. Yeah. So anybody who wants to give us cards or send flowers, they can send them to Miles. Yeah, if I don’t make it, just send them to Bob. No, I don’t want them. Now, every new year since, I think, 2011, we’ve been doing this. Well, Miles has been doing it mostly. I just help facilitate. Yeah. The predictions for the year from the Polish Nostradamus.
Some are funny, some are strange, some are wishful thinking, some are cryptic. I don’t know. And then here lately, over the last maybe about 10 years, you’ve made a bet. So far, nobody’s really had to pay out. Well, there was a time last year, I believe. What’s that? You had to cough up some Chick-fil-A money for… I said Michael would be… Oh, you’re right. Yeah, the Golden Girls. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So, well, there you go. Close, but not quite close enough. That’s why it was Chick-fil-A money instead of Twin Anchors money. Yeah. So you want me to run down last year’s list before we go to this year’s list? I’ll give you a moment there to clear out your sinuses. It won’t help. Go ahead. In no particular order, last year’s predictions were, Miles always does a football prediction. Last year, he said the Kansas City Chiefs versus the Detroit Lions. Detroit would win. Neither of them were in the Super Bowl.
Just so you know. Bob enters a contest to meet the Australian breakdancer and have a dance-off. He loses. I don’t know if people remember the Australian breakdance lady from last year. Illinois passes a tax credit of $500 for pet ownership. Disaster results. Michael auditions for Ma on the stage show of Golden Girls, which there was kind of a close hit there. Pablo has a new show on Plausible called Pablo Tickle My Funny Bone, the panel show that did not come to pass, although Pablo is doing a live comedy out in California. Yeah. The Ding Dong Show or something, I think. Punch My Fart Box. Yeah. Smidge gets upstaged by Miles doing air guitar at one of his shows, and he’s pissed. I don’t think that ever came about. No, no.
And then Miles always likes to talk about celebrity deaths, which many lately, I don’t know who you’re going to pick this year, but last year you picked Will Wheaton, Kathy Bates, and Simon Pegg. Thankfully, none of those people passed away. Many of the mailman turns out to be in the witness protection program and not actually a mailman. He’s retired now, so he’s not actually a mailman, but jury’s still out on the witness protection program. Yeah. Bob refuses to give gas to Jenna Fisher when she runs out near his house. Jenna Fisher is from St. Louis. I actually was in close proximity to her sister at one point. Like in her underwear drawer? Jenna Fisher’s sister. I can’t go into the details. Those are court sealed. Okay.
A Hawaiian game show called The Floor is Lava, which there is a game show called The Floor is Lava, but it’s not a Hawaiian one. Trump outlaws planking but encourages parkour. That may have happened. I don’t know. There’s a lot of things happening right now. Yeah. Updated version of The Warriors with Danny Trejo, Ted McGinley, Antonio Fargus, and Joyce DeWitt. I don’t think that ever got off the ground, but it should have. Yeah. A referee dies during a rope A robot woman’s oil wrestling because of a short circuit. The referee was George Takei. Wow, that got dark. Yeah, that did not happen. And then we did settle up for the Golden Girls thing. Instead of 20 anchors, I gave you some Chick-fil-A money. Mine was…
I refuse to give gas to Jenna Fisher. Miles was going to do all expense paid trip to the arcade of my choice. So yeah, that was last year’s predictions. Uh, what, what have you got for us this year? No stro one. Are you going to be able to do this? I’m sorry. Miles is going to be dead by the time this doc holiday doc holiday. Uh, All right, let’s just do it. Seahawks versus Denver Broncos. Broncos win. Seahawks versus Broncos. Broncos win. I’m typing these out, so Broncos win. Okay. I have no comment on that whatsoever. I never pick these right anyway, so it doesn’t really matter. I would not bet on what Miles. Sports betting is legal in Missouri, but I would not bet on what his choices are.
Yeah. Okay, that’s one. I do 13 of these, by the way. You know, you’ve been swinging with a lot of older people. Yes. Which is very good. I’m glad you’re getting healthy and living life. You’ve mentioned that you’ve been in the locker room with some nude dudes. Right, yes. There’s going to be a mishap that stops you from going, and it’s that you get hit in the face with a dong accidentally. Gets dong slapped in the locker room. I hope that doesn’t come to pass. I don’t know why. Even if they had an incredibly long dong, I don’t think I’m that close to anybody. It doesn’t have to be really long. Maybe the guy loses his balance. I’m just saying. I’m just saying.
I love… I don’t want these to happen. I love how you like to humiliate me in these predictions. Yeah, well, I’m not going to humiliate me. I mean, come on. All right, number three. Number three. I got to keep going here before I die here. Yeah, we got to get this done before you keel over. New… God, I can’t even read tonight. I can’t read my own writing. New Japanese game show called Beat the Goose. Beat the Goose. Mm-hmm. There might be something I already called that. Three middle-aged men go around a public area goosing like co-ed women. The one who gooses the most wins $200. They’re dressed like geese. The other two that don’t win, they are beaten with bamboo Buy the ladies that they’ve goosed. That’s a lot there. To me, that’s like some kind of fantasy of yours. I don’t know where that came from. A lot of thought gone into that one. I’ve been sleeping a lot lately. There’s a lot of sleeping nightmares in this. Yeah, I think that that was one of those ones where you woke up with a boner. And you’re like, honey, it’s a miracle.
Yay, beat the goose. It’s a miracle, a true little spectacle, a miracle come true. Get my goose uniform out of the closet, please. Honk, honk, honk, honk. All right, number four. Our friend, our mentioned before man in the mailman, takes a cruise and by some miracle is the only person on the boat who doesn’t come down with explosive diarrhea. Yeah. And doesn’t get… How do you spell diarrhea? D-I-A-R-R-A. Yeah. Miracle. Miracle. It’s called the miracle on water. One, two, three, four. Okay. That’s four. That’s four. Number five. Five. You know, I like to do something political, you know, because everyone likes politics. The president announces he’s building a landing pad for extraterrestrials. Oh, really? Yes. What is it called? Ah, what? It’s called the Trump pad. Trump pad. Yeah, no, I didn’t think that far ahead of that one. I’m sorry. Okay. Trump pad. We should get Siraj does the Indian Trump. He could do a thing about that. Or as I like to call him, which he hates, Siraj. Siraj, yeah. I know he hates that. Yeah.
Trump announces a landing pad for E.T. Okay. Number six. You know, I just say, but a lot of the sub characters from Three’s Company have died. I think Larry and Lana died. So not that I do not want this to happen, but let’s keep going. Janet, Terry and Cindy. They’re all going to die. So you think the remaining Three’s Company stars, Janet, Terry, and Cindy will pass? Maybe while they’re doing autographs or something? Well, I don’t really put it out there how it’s going to happen. I just say it’s going to. Yeah. Have you seen them recently? I watched Joyce DeWitt, yeah. Yeah, poor Cindy. She got some bad some bad choice for Yeah, I know. I didn’t want to be mean, but yeah. She had some bad something. Plastic surgery. She got
She got some Bakelite surgery. Yeah. Thank you. Number seven. We have a guest. We have a fan CB. Yeah, so good old CB. And come to find out he has OCD. Really? Maybe that’s the only reason he keeps listening. And he carries three dice in his pocket. Okay. And he says he’ll get naked if he rolls all ones. Okay. Has it ever happened? I don’t know. I didn’t get that far into these. I just, you know, I wrote these down. Another one of your dreams where you woke up with a boner? I did, yeah. I’m like, hey, wouldn’t that be funny if… It’s the CB, I’m just saying, you know. That is an interesting… That’s pretty specific, you know. Yeah, I know. Does he have other number combinations? If he rolls those, something happens? Box cars, I don’t know. You see the brown starfish or something. I don’t know. I just wonder if there’s a chart we need to make. A chart. A chart. A Yachtsy chart. Yachtsy! Yachtsy! I didn’t make it!
It’s Three Dice Yahtzee. We know a guy named Michael Gardner. And his thing, he does a lot of stuff. And he is like an extra, I guess, if you will. Yeah, he does extra work in the movies. And I don’t know the particulars, but he’s dressed up as an eggplant in one film. Okay. It’s a giant eggplant. Uh-huh. With glasses and his dumb beard and mustache. Sticking out. In a movie? In a movie, yeah. He’s a background guy. Okay. That’s interesting. It’s very specific. I don’t know. I can’t. I don’t know. He’s singing, I am the eggplant. I am the eggplant. I think he’s got like a big cigar or two or something. Maybe he’s starring in an extra in the real-life emoji movie. Because, you know, they made an emoji movie that was a cartoon. Maybe they’re putting everybody in emoji suits and having a movie made like that. Yeah. It could be. It could be. It could be. And then, of course, the eggplant would factor into me getting hit in the face in the locker room. What?
could be. Number nine. Let’s move on everybody smidge developed he develops his own cat language. Including licking himself. His own cat language yes he he thinks he can talk to cats. Including licking himself. Yeah, and he says it all makes more power to him, I think. So now he can communicate with cats. He just makes a language that he thinks cats will understand. Yes. The second, yes. But we don’t know for sure if they do because we can’t talk to cats. Yeah, he’s a weirdo. No one knows. No one really knows. Is this something he does on stage? Because, you know, he is a… Mostly at home, I would think. Okay, just checking. The nude licking he does, yes. Oh, it’s nude licking. Okay. Nude licking, yeah. Well, this may get to the starfish thing that CB had. Yeah, it could be. Yeah, it could be. When he rolls boxcars. Yeah. Number 10. Miles will be on time this year. Oh, my gosh. You better add to that because that’s my bet. Oh, shit.
You want to put a caveat at the end of that? Because I’m betting that is not going to happen. And I’m going to bet big. I’m going to take that bet right there, Devon. Because I’m the best you ever seen. Devon, run, run, boys, run. Okay. Miles will be on time for the show this year. Okay, yeah. Never, ever, ever, ever going to happen. Cannot be late. Okay. This is good. Give it a week. Yeah. I didn’t say these are good. I’m just saying. This is your decongestant speaking. Yeah. Okay. Number 11. Everything goes downhill. Sorry, man. I ran out of ideas here. Disneyland is going to sink this year. Disneyland in California? Yeah. Not Disneyland. Disney World. Disney World. I was going to say Disneyland is on pretty solid ground. Let’s go Disney World. How’s that? That’d be more probable. You’re going to sink into the swamp. Okay. That could be happening. The Reedy Creek Improvement District made this band and then they’ll just sink right into the swamp. That’s right. And Bob will have nowhere to go on vacation. Yeah, I won’t have
I won’t be able to rotate that into my vacation schedule. By the way, on that note, my wife listened to the show and she’s like, wow, he’s really got to bug up his butt about us going on vacation. I… Okay. I guess so. I don’t know. No, I just thought, what, four? No, I think it was three. It was a… A big year. Alaska, Michigan, Colorado. Uh-huh. That’s it. No, there’s a fourth one in there somewhere. Going across the river doesn’t count. I don’t know. No, we just had the three, so the plan was to have two, and then Alaska got tossed in there because we got a good deal. No, I’m glad you said that. I live through you, okay? My life is so horrible, I have to live through you, okay? Yeah, well, right now, that’s for sure. Yeah, that’s what a shithole I live in, yeah. So Disney World’s going to sink into the swamp in 2020. Sorry, you know, Mrs. LeBent, sorry. Yeah, okay. Sorry. Number 12. All right, let’s finish this thing. Illinois teachers can now…
have gummy pot gummies in class. Can they give them out? Uh, sure. Why not? Yeah. The governor approves it. That’s what I’m saying right now. So they can have them for themselves and for any of these students. Yeah. You get a gold star, you get a gummy. Why not? Oh, Hey, well, Illinois is a quite aggressive state. Yeah. And, uh, I, could see this happening without a law. Yeah. Just to, you know, it’s kind of like, remember a long time ago there was a Saturday Night Live fake commercial called Puppy Uppers and Doggy Downers? Yeah. Something like that for the kids, right? And number 13. And now I actually think this might be the one that would actually come true. Some old fart dies and he has a penny funeral in that in his casket he is basically buried with pennies because they’re not making pennies anymore. Oh, gotcha. And the casket dies and takes his pennies with him. And people can contribute too. That’s a good idea. And he’s buried like that. You’re going to laugh, but I got a whole
Like shoebox full of pennies. I believe. Oh, really? Yeah. I do. Is this post-fire or pre-fire? This is post because they were bequeathed to me. Oh, I see. Yeah. And I was going to get rid of them and then they’re like, we’re going to get rid of the penny. And I’m like, well, maybe I’ll just hold on for a while. Cool. Yeah, I got some I’m keeping too. Just in case. I could see you doing this. You’d be like, I’ve got an idea. Yeah, Old Fart dies and takes Penny with him to the grave. Yes. In his casket. Yeah. Wow. The most likely of the bunch, I think. Well, yeah, it could be. And then, you know, there’ll be grave robbers for the old pennies. Yeah, we made $400 of them.
The pennies I have are old pennies and they are actually worth three cents a piece currently. They will only probably go up is my guess. It’s not like I got a million of them or a hundred million of them. Anyway, enough about that. Let me go through the list one time for everybody real quick just to give it, and you tell me if I’ve made any mistakes. Starting from the beginning, Seahawks versus Broncos. The Broncos win the Super Bowl. Bob gets long slapped in the locker room. Normally you giggle uncontrollably at most of these, but because you’re so sick, I guess it’s not happening. Then this is the really complicated wet dream that you conveyed. Japanese game show called Beat the Goose. Three middle-aged men compete dressed as geese goosing college-age women on campus. Most gooses win. Loser gets beaten with bamboo. That’s a complicated one there. Many of the mailmen take some cruise and doesn’t get diarrhea. Miracle. I got to put miracle. I didn’t
that on there. Let me add miracle. It’s a miracle. Blue spectacle. Trump announces a landing pad for E.T. That’s right. It’s going to be the best landing pad. Then number six, the remaining three company stars, Janet, Terry, and Cindy will pass. That’s a negative one there. Yeah. All right. I don’t pay the favorites. CB has OCD and carries three dice and says he will get naked if he rolls all ones. And then anytime. Michael is an eggplant and movie as an extra. Ridge develops his own cat language, including licking himself. Yes. Here’s my favorite number 10. Miles says he will be on time this year for the show. Every week. That’s never going to happen. Disney World is going to sink into the swamp. Illinois teachers can have CBD gummies in class and give them out. Old fart dies and takes his pennies with him to the grave in his casket.
So which one do you think is going to come true? I’m going Penny Funeral. Penny Funeral, okay. Miles takes Penny Funeral. And what is your – if I take this bet, what am I going to be passing on to you? What’s the bet here? If the penny funeral happens? You have to take me on your next vacation. Holy shit. That’s not good. This is a crazy thing, Miles. I don’t even know if we’ve discussed this openly, but at one point I said… Let’s go to Carbondale. Come down. I will pay for everything. And you didn’t come. You didn’t show up. No, but like your whole family, like I go with. No, I cannot make that bet because there’s no way. There is no way in hell that I could ever, you know. I’m not allowed to talk. I just sit there. No, even with that, because we’d be stopping like every 10 minutes.
to go to the bathroom with you. We’d have to give you like a cup. That would get awkward real quick. All right. All right. God damn. All right. So you got to pick something else. Never going to happen. I could foresee in the future potentially me and my wife meeting you and your wife somewhere separately. Yeah. during a vacation-like thing and then separately leaving. But there’s no way I’m sticking you in the center seat in the van and driving you somewhere. We do a wife swap. No, no. Yeah, we do a wife swap. I don’t think so. Not that there’s anything wrong with your wife. Like a week-long trip. No, I don’t think so. Okay, that wouldn’t work. Yeah, it’s going to have to be lunch or something. You’re swinging that bat hard tonight. All right, we’ll have lunch or go to the arcade. Miles is so sick, he’s just giving up. I don’t care. At this point, I won’t be around to collect. Where would you like to go? You want to mention the place? I…
You can buy me lunch at Mariska’s in Crest Hill. Okay. Lunch at Mariska’s. I don’t even know how to spell that. Mariska. That’s close enough. Yeah. Well, I don’t… The one that… I can’t take your… You actually phrased it perfectly. I can’t take the one where you’ll be on time because you’ll never do it. So I can’t… on something that will happen, not something that will not happen. And that’s definitely not going to happen. I’m going to go with Trump announces the landing pad for you, because I think that he may do that. That sounds plausible. Yeah, I think that the potential is high. E.T. landing pad. Okay. And what am I putting out there if that happens? Oh, you have to take me to one of your cornfield comic cons and pay for any autographs I want. Okay. The cornfield one. I’m not going to make you come down here where it’s really expensive. All right.
All right. There’s some good ones coming up. Uh-huh. Comic-Con. And pay for all my autographs. Oh. Those are usually 40 bucks a piece. Yeah, well, you’re loaded. What do I… For now, yeah. Look at all these fancy pennies you’re hoarding. Come on. You don’t like the wife-swapping vacation, though, huh? No, I’m not even going to consider that. Or me coming out on a legitimate family vacation with your family. No. That would not work. No, I don’t think that that’s… Totally unannounced. You’re like, oh, we’ve got to make a stop here. Hold on. No. And I’m allowed one bag. No. You’re like, what the hell is this? Yeah. No, I… I think it would be nice at some point if we could go on a vacation together with San’s family, right? San’s family. No family. Okay. But separate. All separate. Okay. Because I think it would be fun. It would be funny. Yeah. You know? I could see us going on a different cruise. Yeah.
that might be funny. I don’t do cruises. No, no, you should try. You should try. Well, next time your family comes, I’ll just coincidentally be there. You’ll be like, oh, that’s funny. We could go on a Star Trek cruise or something like that. They have these cruises that are like Comic Cons. Right, they do. Yeah, there was one for Kevin Smith, the View Askew cruise. Yeah. I don’t think I want to go on that one. There may be one like that. To be honest with you, I don’t want to go to the Caribbean or anything. I would rather go on a cruise. Actually, you can go on a cruise on the Mississippi, believe it or not. You can, yeah. Maybe something like that. Then we can just kick you right out and you can make it home on your own.
Well, yeah, we could do that. I’ll think about it, you know. Yeah, yeah. I just show up, you know, with your family there. No, no, no. At this point, since you verbalized this, I cannot talk about any of my plans. I show up, I handcuff me to you. Like you did in Practical Jokers with the mime, you know. Right, yeah, uh-huh. Just stuck with me for like 24 hours. I think when we went to Michigan, there was some concern that you were going to show up on the island. No, I hate that idea. Because you said you were going to, and then you have relatives up in Michigan, and so I thought, uh-oh. No. He may actually just be there. No. I hate that idea.
Well, there you go, Potion of Sadomas, even though he is deathly ill. I am deathly ill. Still gave his predictions, and oddly enough, didn’t giggle through the whole damn thing this time, which is interesting as well. Sorry, gang. It’s as good as it’s going to get. I think that says it all.

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