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Politeness or Self-Worth? Rethinking Everyday Language
Episode Overview
“Sorry.” “Please.” “Thank you.” On the surface, these are the pillars of good manners. But how often do we use them as more than politeness? In this episode, we dive into how these everyday words can quietly reveal- and even chip away at- our self-worth. From over-apologising to over-thanking, we explore how habits that look like kindness can actually be signs of shrinking ourselves.
Together, we share personal stories of catching ourselves saying sorry for simply existing, layering too many pleases into requests, or thanking so much it borders on guilt. We also reflect on where these patterns come from - family, culture, childhood conditioning - and how they shape the way we model self-worth to our children.
This isn’t about never saying sorry, please, or thank you again. It’s about learning to use them authentically - because when these words come from self-worth, not insecurity, they hold their true power.
Key Discussion Points
- Why over-apologising often signals low self-worth rather than good manners.
- The hidden meaning behind excessive pleases and thank yous.
- How cultural upbringing and childhood conditioning shape our language habits.
- The fine line between being considerate and shrinking yourself.
- Modeling healthier language (and worth) for the next generation.
Listener Takeaways
- Notice when you’re saying sorry, please, or thank you - is it genuine, or a way of softening yourself?
- Practice swaps like “thank you for waiting” instead of “sorry I’m late.”
- Remember: you’re allowed to take up space, ask for what you need, and exist without apologising.
- Words matter - let them reflect your worth, not your insecurity.
Join the Conversation
We’d love to hear from you: which word do you catch yourself overusing—sorry, please, or thank you? And what swap will you try this week? Message us or send a voice note- we love hearing your reflections.
And if you know someone who apologises for breathing, share this episode with them - it might be the reminder they need that they’re already enough.
BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month
If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.
BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.
Links:
- Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
- Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
- Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
- Email us at [email protected]
Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/
Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy
See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information
Disclaimer:
Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.
View all episodes
By Aileen Harvey and Julie FahyEpisode Overview
“Sorry.” “Please.” “Thank you.” On the surface, these are the pillars of good manners. But how often do we use them as more than politeness? In this episode, we dive into how these everyday words can quietly reveal- and even chip away at- our self-worth. From over-apologising to over-thanking, we explore how habits that look like kindness can actually be signs of shrinking ourselves.
Together, we share personal stories of catching ourselves saying sorry for simply existing, layering too many pleases into requests, or thanking so much it borders on guilt. We also reflect on where these patterns come from - family, culture, childhood conditioning - and how they shape the way we model self-worth to our children.
This isn’t about never saying sorry, please, or thank you again. It’s about learning to use them authentically - because when these words come from self-worth, not insecurity, they hold their true power.
Key Discussion Points
- Why over-apologising often signals low self-worth rather than good manners.
- The hidden meaning behind excessive pleases and thank yous.
- How cultural upbringing and childhood conditioning shape our language habits.
- The fine line between being considerate and shrinking yourself.
- Modeling healthier language (and worth) for the next generation.
Listener Takeaways
- Notice when you’re saying sorry, please, or thank you - is it genuine, or a way of softening yourself?
- Practice swaps like “thank you for waiting” instead of “sorry I’m late.”
- Remember: you’re allowed to take up space, ask for what you need, and exist without apologising.
- Words matter - let them reflect your worth, not your insecurity.
Join the Conversation
We’d love to hear from you: which word do you catch yourself overusing—sorry, please, or thank you? And what swap will you try this week? Message us or send a voice note- we love hearing your reflections.
And if you know someone who apologises for breathing, share this episode with them - it might be the reminder they need that they’re already enough.
BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month
If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.
BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.
Links:
- Download Enough - Our Self Worth Reset.
- Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
- Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
- Email us at [email protected]
Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/
Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy
See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information
Disclaimer:
Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.