Episode overview

A line from Jon Bon Jovi that genuinely stopped Aileen in her tracks: “We’re all just here trying to figure it out.” Coming from someone who looks like he’s “made it”, it lands differently - like an equaliser and a hand on your shoulder.

This one is about humility, rebuilding, and the midlife unravel - the kind that can feel frightening… but might actually be the start of coming home to yourself.

Key discussion points

• The line that hit hard: “We’re all just here trying to figure it out” - why it feels more powerful coming from someone we assume has it all sorted.
• Identity vs performance: the idea that what you do isn’t who you are - and why that’s a self-worth conversation, not just a career one.
• Why we all panic when something shifts: kids growing up, relationships changing, careers wobbling, hormones doing their thing — and suddenly asking: If I’m not doing that… who am I?
• Losing your voice as a metaphor: not physically - emotionally. Years of being silenced, managing everyone else’s emotions, walking on eggshells, and having to rebuild your voice “brick by brick”.
• A softer, truer kind of success: chasing dreams from alignment, not pressure - and remembering it’s never “too late” to change direction.

Listener takeaways

• You are not your role. Not your job title. Not your productivity. Not your “usefulness”.
• Losing your voice doesn’t mean you’re lost. It might be the start of finding the real one.
• Humility is strength. Real confidence isn’t loud - it’s honest.
• Dreams don’t expire. There’s always a new phase, and you can still begin again at 40, 50, 60 - but from alignment, not pressure.
• You don’t need a five-year plan to be okay. You don’t need to be polished to be worthy.

Join the conversation

If you’re in a season where things feel uncertain - where you’re rethinking who you are, or what your life is becoming - you’re not alone.

A question to sit with:
 When you strip away what you do… what’s still true about who you are?

And if this episode made you exhale a little, share it with someone who might need that same hand-on-the-shoulder feeling.

One more thing, our Sanity Checks are now over on Patreon (for the price of a cup of coffee each month). If you want a little extra support in your ears, come and join us there.

Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview
In this episode, we explore a tension many of us feel deeply — the pull between wanting space and craving connection. When does protecting our peace start to feel like shutting people out? And why can setting boundaries trigger so much guilt, fear, or worry about losing belonging?

We reflect on how our early conditioning shapes the way we relate, why many of us learned that belonging meant being agreeable, and how self-worth plays a crucial role in whether boundaries feel safe or threatening. This is a conversation about unlearning, reclaiming energy, and redefining what real belonging actually looks like in this season of life.

Key Discussion Points

• Why the desire to belong is deeply human - even for those who value independence
• How many of us were taught that belonging meant being easy, polite, and agreeable
• The link between self-worth and boundary-setting
• How carrying emotional labour can look like strength but quietly erodes self-worth
• The difference between fitting in and true belonging, inspired by Brené Brown

Listener Takeaways

• Boundaries aren’t rejection - they’re redirection
• Saying no is not unkind; it’s a way of valuing yourself
• Belonging that requires self-abandonment isn’t belonging at all
• When self-worth dips, boundaries often soften — noticing this is powerful
• You don’t need to earn your place; you already belong

Join the Conversation

We love hearing from you. Do you struggle more with setting boundaries, or with the fear of losing belonging when you do?
 Leave us a voicemail or send us a DM - your reflections may be shared in a future episode.

And if this conversation resonated, consider sharing it with someone who needs the reminder that protecting their peace doesn’t make them selfish - it makes them grounded.

Sanity Checks are now over on Patreon, available for the price of a coffee each month. We’d love to see you there.

Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode overview
In this episode, we unpack why so many of us learn to play it small — not because we lack confidence or ambition, but because at some point it felt safer to do so. Following the huge response to our Don’t Hide Your Shine sanity check, we explore how hiding your shine shows up in everyday life, where it comes from, and why it’s so closely tied to self-worth.
We talk about school, family systems, culture, gendered expectations, and nervous-system protection — and how, over time, shrinking ourselves can leave us feeling muted, disconnected, and far from who we really are. We also share how to begin reclaiming those hidden parts of yourself in small, human ways, without feeling like you’re showing off or abandoning the people around you.

Key discussion points

• What we really mean by “shine” - and why it’s not about ego or attention
• The subtle ways we reduce ourselves: downplaying achievements, staying quiet, deflecting praise, shrinking joy
• Tall poppy syndrome, school dynamics, and early lessons about standing out
• Family systems and why keeping the peace can mean keeping yourself small
• How women are given constant mixed messages: confident but not too confident, ambitious but not selfish
• Why dimming yourself becomes automatic - and how it disconnects you from who you are
• The discomfort (and grief) that can come with letting yourself be seen again

Listener takeaways

• Playing it small is rarely a choice - it’s usually learned protection
• Your shine isn’t arrogance; it’s aliveness
• Humility and self-worth can exist together
• Start with noticing when you automatically shrink or brush yourself off
• Practise receiving - even two seconds can make a difference
• Let yourself take up a little more space than you did yesterday
• You don’t need to be palatable to everyone to be worthy
  
  
  

If this episode resonated and you recognised a place where you’ve been dimming yourself, we’d love to hear from you. Send us a DM or leave us a voicemail - your stories matter.
 And for more on this theme, head over to Patreon for this week’s sanity check (link in the show notes).

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview
New Year’s Eve often sits in a strange in-between space - part reflection, part expectation. In this conversation, we gently unpack why this moment can feel heavy with pressure, and how New Year’s resolutions so often become another way we tell ourselves we’re not enough yet.

We talk honestly about where resolutions really come from, how self-worth gets tangled up in performance and productivity, and why so many of us end up feeling guilty by February. From bin-bag workouts in Glasgow to chilli powder water confessions, we share the ridiculous (and revealing) things we’ve done in the name of “self-improvement”.

This episode is an invitation to pause, soften, and question the story underneath the goal - and to consider a different way of entering a new year that’s rooted in compassion rather than self-rejection.

Key Discussion Points

• Why New Year’s Eve holds both hope and pressure - and why that collective expectation can feel so heavy
• The hidden message behind most resolutions: be thinner, richer, better, more disciplined
• How self-improvement often masks self-rejection
• The role of comparison, social media, vision boards and five-year plans
• The link between habits, emotion, and soothing unmet needs
• Why change takes repetition, not revolution (and what the research really shows)
• Shifting from striving to self-acceptance

Listener Takeaways

• You can’t hate yourself into lasting change
• Most resolutions fail because they’re rooted in lack, not love
• Real change happens when behaviour shifts after the story underneath is understood
• Small, kind habits are more powerful than dramatic overhauls
• Progress isn’t linear - and it doesn’t need a January start date
• You don’t need a new version of yourself to begin again
• The version of you here right now is already resilient, capable, and enough
  
  

Join the Conversation

As this year turns over, we’d love to know:
What are you ready to stop postponing?
What would it look like to enter this year with curiosity instead of pressure?

You can share your thoughts with us over on Instagram or send us a message - we read them all, and this community guides every conversation we have.

However you’re spending New Year’s Eve, we’re glad you’re here.
Here’s to soft changes, small beginnings, and remembering who you already are.

Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview
It’s Christmas Eve, and today we’re sitting with one word that has shown up again and again this year: connection.
Not the glossy, picture-perfect kind we see in adverts, but the quiet, truthful kind that grounds us - especially when the season feels full, loud, or lonely.

In this short episode, we explore why connection becomes harder to access at the very moment we need it most, and how presence - with ourselves and with others - can bring us back to what matters.

Key Discussion Points

• The gap between expectation and reality at Christmas — and why it can feel so emotional.
• Loneliness statistics in Australia and the UK that reveal how many people struggle at this time of year.
• Why real connection starts with being present with yourself, even when your feelings are uncomfortable.
• The role of vulnerability in meaningful relationships - and how dropping the performance opens the door to genuine closeness.
• How to feel connected even if you’re spending Christmas alone.

Listener Takeaways

• Connection isn’t about the size of your table - it’s about the honesty you bring to it.
• You’re allowed to acknowledge sadness, overwhelm, or loneliness at Christmas. Naming it is part of connection too.
• Presence is the most meaningful gift you can offer, whether to yourself or someone you love.
• You are worthy of connection exactly as you are - no performance required.
• The small, human moments often matter far more than the carefully orchestrated ones.

Join the Conversation

How are you feeling heading into Christmas this year?
Is there someone you want to reconnect with - including yourself?
Send us a DM or voicemail. We’d love to hear what this season brings up for you.

Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode overview

In this episode, we pause on one simple line that stopped us in our tracks:
“We’ll know our children as adults far longer than we’ll know them as children.”

We take a trip down memory lane talk about how quickly the “little years” pass, why those toddler days feel so vivid, and what it’s like to suddenly realise we’re parenting almost-adults. From Peppa Pig pyjamas and Iggle Piggle shows to mascara, moods and slammed doors, we look at how our kids have changed – and how we have too.

If you’re feeling that quiet ache of “when did they grow up?”, this one is for you.

Key discussion points

• The moment that quote landed and why it brought up such a wave of emotion.
• Remembering the early years: buggies, board-on-the-pram days, Lapland trips, tiny hands and mispronounced words.
• How phones, constant entertainment and “never being bored” might be changing our kids’ sense of time.
• The identity shift for mums when we’re no longer needed every second and the house gets quieter.
• Grief and gratitude in the same breath – noticing that every stage feels like the hardest and the best, and every stage ends.

Listener takeaways

• You’re not imagining it – childhood really is a tiny window of time, and it’s normal to feel emotional when you notice it closing.
• It’s okay to miss the toddler years and still be utterly exhausted by them while you were in them.
• Presence matters more than perfection: your kids will remember how it felt to be with you more than the schedule, the craft, or the trip.
• This in-between age is confusing for them and for us – they want independence and reassurance at the same time, and so do we.
• One simple practice: notice one everyday moment today – the eye roll, the shared joke, the “mum, what’s for dinner?” – and mentally bookmark it as a memory you’ll miss one day.

Join the conversation

If this episode touched that tender place of “they’re growing up so fast”, we’d love to hear from you.

Come and share a favourite toddler memory, or what this teenage season feels like for you right now. Send us a DM or voice note on Instagram @youkeepmesane.pod

Join us over on Patreon for this week’s Sanity Check and more honest chats about motherhood, identity and this season of life shifts.

Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode overview
In this episode, we explore a sneaky belief many of us absorbed young: that the loudest person in the room is the strongest one - and that being quieter, reflective or sensitive somehow makes you weaker.

We talk about loudness as a shield, teenage friendship dynamics, being labelled “weak” for not being the loud one, and how that seeps into adult life - careers, friendships, parenting and the way we judge women who live differently. 

Quiet strength, we’ve realised, often doesn’t get the spotlight… but it might be the most powerful kind.

Key discussion points

• Jamie Kern Lima’s story: building IT Cosmetics, selling to L’Oréal, and still feeling unworthy inside.
• The crucial difference between self-confidence (what you can do) and self-worth (who you believe you are).
• The teenage playground dynamic: loud, attention-grabbing girls seen as “strong” and quieter ones labelled “weak”.
• How these teen patterns spill into adulthood: friendship politics, social dominance, and how others read our strength.
• “You fall to what you believe you’re worthy of”: how low worth can lead to unhealthy relationships and choices.
• Why quieter personalities often have higher emotional intelligence, empathy and self-awareness - and why that is strength.
  
  

Listener takeaways

• Quiet doesn’t equal weak. Loud doesn’t automatically equal strong. 
• Self-confidence and self-worth are different. You can be brilliant, capable and “together” on the outside and still feel not enough inside. 
• If your identity rises and falls with achievements, income, roles or how “busy” you are, it might be a sign your self-worth is asking for attention.
• Gentleness can be powerful. You don’t have to shout to be heard. Presence, consistency, kindness and reflection are all forms of quiet strength
• As parents and caregivers, we’re modelling what strength looks like. Showing boundaries, self-respect and calm courage gives our kids a very different map than “loudest wins”.
• The small, unseen choices - saying no, changing direction, choosing rest, ending a draining friendship - are often the truest expressions of self-worth.
  
  

Join the conversation

If you can relate to this, share your story with us - leave a voice note or send us a message on Instagram at @youkeepmesane.pod. If this episode resonated, please pass it on to someone who might need the reminder that quiet isn’t weak and loud isn’t always strong.

And if you’d like extra support, reflections and mini deep-dives each week, join us over on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - all for about the price of a coffee a month. 

Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview

This week we’re joined by Monica Maldonado - the voice behind @thepowerofgoodenough - for a raw, hopeful conversation about how low self-worth can quietly shape our lives even when we’ve had a “stable” upbringing. Monica shares how being the youngest of four, people-pleasing, and staying “small” became an identity she had to unlearn in adulthood. We talk about awakening moments, inner-child work, nervous-system safety, micro-actions, and the difference between healing and transformation. If you’ve ever felt “average,” invisible, or only worthy when you perform — this one’s for you.

Key Discussion Points

• “Stable” childhoods & invisible wounds: Why invalidation and family roles (youngest/eldest, capable/quiet) can wire worth externally.
• Not-enoughness as identity: How staying small becomes comfortable - and why leaving it feels terrifying (and courageous).
• Awakening → healing → transformation: The stages Monica noticed, and why many of us get stuck healing but never acting.
• Inner-child work that actually helps: Re-parenting with compassion, giving yourself the words you never heard.
• Boundaries as self-respect (not punishment): Standards you set for you, not rules to control others.
• Generation-breaking: Modeling unconditional worth for our kids while we’re still rewriting our own scripts.
• Why Monica’s message resonates now: Women naming burnout, rejecting perfection, and refusing to shrink anymore.
  
  
  

Listener Takeaways

• Your worth is inherent. Move from “I’m worthy only when…” to “I’m worthy even when…”.
• Name the pattern. Ask: Where am I still performing small to stay safe/liked?
• Regulate, then act. A regulated body makes brave conversations possible.
• Practice micro-courage daily. One tiny ask, no apology attached. Repeat.
• Boundarie

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

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Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Summary: In this episode, Aileen and Julie explore the powerful, often difficult process of growth through adversity. Reflecting on their own life experiences—from heartbreak to major transitions—they discuss how challenging moments have fundamentally shaped who they are. Together, they ask whether personal growth always requires hardship and consider ways we can foster self-development even in calmer times. For anyone navigating a tough period or looking to cultivate growth without drama, this episode offers gentle encouragement and thoughtful perspectives.

Key Takeaways:

• Growth Through Adversity: Aileen and Julie share personal stories of overcoming grief, loss, and life transitions. They reveal how these hardships ultimately brought greater strength, self-understanding, and compassion. 
• Can We Grow Without Trauma? The hosts discuss whether growth must come through painful experiences, contemplating the role of intentional challenges, risk-taking, and stepping out of one’s comfort zone as alternative paths to growth. They reflect on the importance of self-acceptance and facing one’s fears before life forces a confrontation.
• How to Embrace Growth, Even When It Hurts: For those facing difficult times, Aileen and Julie offer strategies to navigate pain and find growth within it. They share personal practices, like journaling, self-reflection, and letting emotions surface, to help process and embrace challenging emotions in a healthy way.

Quote of the Episode:
"To abolish all valleys is to get rid of all mountains." – Alan Watts, shared by Julie

Practical Advice:

• Allow yourself to feel and process difficult emotions, using practices like journaling, mindful observation, and seeking support from trusted friends.
• Recognise growth opportunities in smaller, intentional challenges, especially when life feels stable—take steps that expand your comfort zone in gentle, steady ways.

Join the Conversation:
Share your thoughts on growth through adversity or how you encourage self-development in calmer times. Join our Instagram group, send a voicemail, or email us at [email protected].

Thank you for listening! Join us next week for another honest conversation about navigating life’s challenges together.

Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.

Episode Overview

We talk about the “always on” culture - phones, pings, and pressure to reply instantly - and how it hijacks presence, deep focus, and self-worth. From family group chats and school apps to work Slack and late-night DMs, we explore why constant accessibility feels normal (and even “kind”), how it fuels anxiety and perfectionism, and simple, compassionate boundaries that let you choose when you’re available. The goal isn’t a digital detox; it’s digital boundaries - so you can be in your life, not just in your inbox.

Key Discussion Points

• The speed of living: Instant everything (messages, info, shopping, streaming) creates a false “high capacity” expectation - and a nervous system on edge
• Responsiveness ≠ reliability: We unpack why replying fast has been confused with being caring, competent, or “on it.”
• Home + work spillover: From school apps to after-hours Slack—why the lack of pause multiplies the mental load.
• Kids, teens, and phones: Read receipts, comparison, and the pressure to respond—how we’re coaching our kids (and ourselves).
• Addiction loops: The comfort of holding the phone, the “just one more app” cycle, and how partial attention keeps us revved.
• Research we reference: Constant interruptions erode focus and increase anxiety; it takes real time to refocus after a ping.

Listener Takeaways

• You don’t owe anyone constant access. Your worth isn’t measured in response times.
• Pause beats panic. Waiting to reply often leads to calmer, kinder, clearer responses.
• Make one small boundary today: 10–15 phone-free minutes (or an hour if you can). Notice the twitch, boredom, or urge—beneath it is calm.
• Say it out loud: “No rush to reply.” Model it and people mirror it.
• Choose your pockets of presence: After breakfast before checking, or phone charging in the kitchen at night.
• Remember: Reliability is showing up when it matters, not being instantly available.
  
  
  

Join the Conversation

Tell us your favourite digital boundary. Do you have phone-free time? Do read receipts stress you out? Feel free DM us on Instagram @youkeepmesane.pod, or leave us a voicemail - we may feature your thoughts in a future episode.

Join Us for More on Patreon!

Please join us on Patreon for our Sanity Checks - our short weekly episodes where we share what’s really on our minds. They’ve been part of the podcast since the very beginning - those little check-ins and raw conversations. Now, for the price of a coffee a month, you'll get this extra weekly episode plus much more!

Join Us via this link:

https://www.patreon.com/14211197/join

Links:

• Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
• Follow YKMS on FB https://www.facebook.com/YouKeepMeSanePod
• Email us at [email protected]

Subscribe to our Newsletter: https://www.youkeepmesane.com/subscribe/

Hosts: Aileen Harvey & Julie Fahy

See https://www.buzzsprout.com/privacy for privacy information

Disclaimer:

Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.