Polycurious

Polycurious

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Polycurious episodes

  • 68. Having Three DADT Partners with Alex & Skyler

    In this episode, we explore what it looks like to navigate three Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell relationships in which all partners want escalation, while Skyler is not ready to step onto the relationship escalator with any of them. This tension is especially present for Alex, who is in her mid-thirties and thinking seriously about partnership, stability, and having children.

    Skyler shares how he moved from a long-term monogamous marriage into non-hierarchy and unexpectedly found himself in three relationships, while Alex reflects on meeting Skyler shortly before her divorce and falling in love while still grieving.

    Together, we unpack when Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell dynamics can feel protective versus when they can become harmful and how non-hierarchy can create tension when people’s futures are uncertain.


    Join my Patreon ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:

    https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious


    Get my free guide to opening up ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    https://www.polycurious.com/guide-to-opening-up


    Book a free exploratory call with me⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:


    https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min


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    https://www.polycurious.com/community


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    https://www.tiktok.com/@polycurious


    Watch the podcast on YouTube:

    https://www.youtube.com/@polycuriouspodcast


    1 hr 4 min
  • 67. What Two Terrible Breakups Taught Me with Jesse

    Today, Jesse opens up about two challenging breakups that unfolded in the context of non-monogamy, how those endings impacted his reputation within his community, and how they shaped the way he saw himself. He also shares how later, healthier relationships helped him rewrite those old narratives.

    We talk about why we’re often drawn to people who aren’t actually a good fit for partnership, why even “bad” relationships can be valuable for the growth they spark, and how those experiences ultimately help us get clearer about what we want and lead us toward more grounded, nourishing connections.


    Bonus Patreon Content with Jesse:


    Being a Male Unicorn:

    https://www.patreon.com/posts/bonus-ep-67-male-145030257


    Breaking Up for The Right Reasons:

    https://www.patreon.com/posts/bonus-ep-67-up-145030787


    Get my free guide to opening up ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    https://www.polycurious.com/guide-to-opening-up


    Book a free exploratory call with me⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:


    https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min


    Join my Patreon ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:

    https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious


    Join our Whatsapp community⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:⁠⁠⁠⁠

    https://www.polycurious.com/community


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    https://www.tiktok.com/@polycurious


    Watch Polycurious on YouTube:

    https://www.youtube.com/@polycuriouspodcast


    1 hr 10 min
  • 66. All Roads Lead To Poly with Fer (Your Host)

    In this episode, I finally sit on the other side of the mic. I’m interviewed by my friend A (who you might remember from the episode with her husband J).

    We talk about my upbringing, what I learned about my sexuality (including discovering masturbation much later in life), my journey with Seth as my primary partner and eventually finding a second partner, what it was like to navigate conflict with two partners, and why I’ve become such a big believer in not future-tripping and instead listening to your intuition in the moment.


    Join my Patreon ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:

    https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious


    Breakup episodes 1 + 2:


    https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious


    Fer + Seth’s episode 12:


    ⁠https://www.polycurious.com/podcast/ep12⁠


    Fer + Seth episode 48:


    ⁠https://www.polycurious.com/podcast/ep48⁠


    John Part 1 (Patreon):


    https://www.patreon.com/posts/meet-my-partner-138151166


    John Part 2:


    ⁠https://www.polycurious.com/podcast/ep61⁠


    Get my free guide to opening up ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    https://www.polycurious.com/guide-to-opening-up


    Book a free exploratory call with me⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:


    https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min


    Join our Whatsapp community⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:⁠⁠⁠

    https://www.polycurious.com/community


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    Watch the podcast on YouTube:

    https://www.youtube.com/@polycuriouspodcast


    1 hr
  • 65. Making Peace with Your Insecurities with A & J (Part 2)

    In the second part of my conversation with A and J, we talk about how J learned to face and work through his insecurities instead of letting them dictate how A connects with others. We also explore how differently they’ve each approached non-monogamy, with A actively dating while J has taken things more slowly as he continues to unpack his religious upbringing and lifelong monogamous conditioning.


    Join our Patreon ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:

    https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious


    Get my free guide to opening up ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    https://www.polycurious.com/guide-to-opening-up


    Book a free exploratory call with me⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:


    https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min


    Join our Whatsapp community⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:⁠⁠

    https://www.polycurious.com/community


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    https://www.tiktok.com/@polycurious


    Watch the podcast on YouTube:

    https://www.youtube.com/@polycuriouspodcast

    55 min
  • 64. Should You Have Rules When Opening Up? with A & J (Part 1)

    A and J opened up their relationship after nearly three decades together, when menopause sparked a surge in A’s libido.

    In this episode, we talk about their process of untangling enmeshment, how they moved from a rule-heavy dynamic — with J, who was initially hesitant about non-monogamy, setting most of the boundaries — to having no rules at all. We also explore how those early rules revealed insecurities that J eventually chose to face and work through, rather than letting them control how A connects with others.


    Join our Patreon ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:

    https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious


    Get my free guide to opening up ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    https://www.polycurious.com/guide-to-opening-up


    Book a free exploratory call with me⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:


    https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min


    Join our Whatsapp community⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:⁠

    https://www.polycurious.com/community


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    https://www.tiktok.com/@polycurious


    Watch the podcast on YouTube:

    https://www.youtube.com/@polycuriouspodcast


    1 hr 4 min
  • 63. Handling Big Emotions in Polyamory, Triads and Breakups with Evita Sawyers

    Today, Evita Sawyers ((@Lavitaloca34) shares how she went from letting jealousy and anger take over to becoming more grounded and less reactive. We talk about her experience being in a triad and how opening her marriage revealed gaps in her relationship with her husband, ultimately leading to their breakup.


    This episode explores how non-monogamy can uncover powerful truths about yourself, serve as a path for personal growth, and highlight both the strengths and limitations within your relationships.



    Resourced mentioned:


    Patreon Bonus Content: Evita Sawyers on Leaving Religion, Dating Out of Jealousy and Finding Commitment in Non-Monogamy


    Follow Evita on Instagram:

    https://www.instagram.com/lavitaloca34?igsh=a2RqOHU5ZTdoMmRi


    Follow Evita on Facebook:

    https://www.facebook.com/share/1Evne8bz9V/?mibextid=wwXIfr


    Patreon Bonus Content from This Conversation:

    https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious


    Poly Love Documentary:


    https://www.amazon.com/gp/video/detail/B088G1RM9C/ref=atv_sr_fle_c_Tn74RA_1_1_1?sr=1-1&pageTypeIdSource=ASIN&pageTypeId=B088G3DKRG&qid=1759100808642



    The Untethered Soul Michael A Singer 


    https://untetheredsoul.com/untethered-soul


    The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

    https://www.amazon.com/Power-Now-Guide-Spiritual-Enlightenment/dp/1577314808



    The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

    https://www.amazon.com/Four-Agreements-Practical-Personal-Freedom/dp/1878424319



    No Mud, No Lotus by Thich Nhat Hanh

    https://www.parallax.org/product/no-mud-no-lotus/


    Loving What Is By Byron Katie 

    https://thework.com/loving-what-is-revised-edition/


    More Than Two:

    https://www.amazon.com/More-Than-Two-Practical-Polyamory/dp/0991399706


    The Ethical Slut:

    https://www.amazon.com/Ethical-Slut-Third-Practical-Relationships/dp/0399579664


    Nonviolent Communication:

    https://www.amazon.com/Nonviolent-Communication-Language-Life-Changing-Relationships/dp/189200528X



    The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown:

    https://brenebrown.com/book/the-gifts-of-imperfection/



    Get my free guide to opening up ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:⁠⁠⁠⁠

    https://www.polycurious.com/guide-to-opening-up


    Book a free exploratory call with me⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:


    https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min


    Join our Whatsapp community⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:

    https://www.polycurious.com/community


    Join our Patreon ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:

    https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious


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    Watch the podcast on YouTube:

    https://www.youtube.com/@polycuriouspodcast


    1 hr 8 min
  • 62. When Your Partner Chooses A Nesting Partner with Roshi & Frankie

    Roshi and Frankie have been navigating a long-distance polyamorous relationship for over three years, where they both have other partners. Today, we talk about:


    • How to balance multiple relationships without losing a shared vision


    • Their experience building a long distance partnership


    • Finding security even when your partner has a nesting partner


    • Why non-monogamy is also an inner journey that can help you gain clarity on who you are, your needs and integrate different parts of yourself


    Resources mentioned:

    Bonus content from this episode on Patreon (on Roshi's search for a nesting partner and Frankie's experience asking for what's important to her):

    https://www.patreon.com/posts/bonus-ep-62-when-139590497

    Ep.6 Facing Insecurities Head On with Frankie:

    https://www.polycurious.com/podcast/ep6


    Where is Frankie Now? (Patreon):

    https://www.patreon.com/posts/120772218/


    Ep. 55 Aryn & Josh From Couples Therapy:

    https://www.polycurious.com/podcast/ep55


    Get my free guide to opening up ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:⁠⁠⁠


    https://www.polycurious.com/guide-to-opening-up


    Book a free exploratory call with me⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:


    https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min


    Join our Whatsapp community⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠


    https://www.polycurious.com/community


    Join our Patreon ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:

    https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious


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    57 min
  • 61. Meet My Secondary Partner Part 2 with John

    In my conversation with John, my secondary partner, we get into how our relationship grew from friends-with-benefits into partnership. We revisit an early incident that brought up his fear of disappointing partners and my own struggles with trust and safety, and how that shaped our early days. I share what it’s been like to face my fears around partnership and learn to find safety within myself, while John opens up about practicing vulnerability, accountability, and breaking old patterns of people-pleasing.


    Listen to part 1 on my Patreon here:


    https://www.patreon.com/posts/138151166/


    Listen to How I Went From Polycurious to Poly Part 1 here:


    https://www.patreon.com/posts/127305023/


    Listen to How I Went From Polycurious to Poly Part 2 here:


    https://www.patreon.com/posts/127307117/


    Get my free guide to opening up ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:⁠⁠


    https://www.polycurious.com/guide-to-opening-up


    Book a free exploratory call with me⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:


    https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min


    Join our Whatsapp community⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠


    https://www.polycurious.com/community


    Join our Patreon ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:

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    50 min
  • 60. Two Families, One Polycule with Catherine and Brian

    Catherine and Brian went on Feeld looking for a threesome but things took a turn when Catherine fell for a woman who’s also married with a daughter. Now the two couples (and their kids) have formed a loving polycule built on honesty and care.


    In today’s episode, we talk about how Brian stays sensually connected to the dynamic by being submissive, even though he’s not sexually involved with Catherine’s girlfriend. We get into how they’ve navigated Catherine having threesomes with her girlfriend and her girlfriend’s husband. We also explore the importance of staying open to evolving dynamics, and why asking thoughtful questions can go further than quick reassurance when your partner is struggling in non-monogamy.


    Resources mentioned:


    ⁠Bonus content: Accepting myself as a submissive man with Brian:⁠

    https://www.patreon.com/posts/bonus-ep-60-as-154020880?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=postshare_creator&utm_content=join_link


    ⁠Bonus content: Raising a child in a polycule:⁠


    https://www.patreon.com/posts/133008939/


    Ep.46 More Than A Mother with Molly Roden Winter


    More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory (book)


    Sex with Emily podcast


    Join our Patreon ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:

    https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious


    Get my free guide to opening up ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:⁠


    https://www.polycurious.com/guide-to-opening-up


    Book a free exploratory call with me⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:


    https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min


    Join our Whatsapp community⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠


    https://www.polycurious.com/community


    Join our Patreon ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:

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  • 59. Masculinity & Non-Monogamy: A Man’s Memoir with Adam of Seek the Risk

    Adam is the author of Seek the Risk, the only memoir I know of by a man about non-monogamy. In this episode, he shares how being with a female partner who was more sexually active than he was challenged his sense of masculinity. He talks about how he overcame those feelings using techniques from his extreme sports background, including recognizing harmful inner narratives and reframing fear.


    Patreon Bonus Content: What Other People Think vs. What You Know About Yourself

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    seektherisk.net


    Write to Adam: [email protected]


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    seektherisk.substack.com


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    Get my free guide to opening up ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:


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    58 min

About Polycurious

From the publisher's feed

Non-monogamy is not for everyone, but you might be curious about it. Could it be right for you? How do non-monogamous couples deal with jealousy? I was curious myself, and the more I asked, the more I…

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