In this special episode, I'm sharing a live recording from Open to Open, a panel discussion I joined in Denver hosted by coaches Bella Schauer and Booster Blake. We share our personal experiences and answer questions about New Relationship Energy, honesty, repair after conflict, and boundaries,

Resources mentioned:

Couple's Fall Retreat info:

https://www.bella-paints.com/retreats

Bella's email:

[email protected]

My episode with Jessica Esfandiary:

https://www.polycurious.com/podcast/ep35

My episode with Bella & Patrick:

https://www.polycurious.com/podcast2/ep76

My episode with Seth:

https://www.polycurious.com/podcast/ep12

Paul's harmony card:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1OAYSWfsjuhOzXoZ9KLargqVlzu6QCssY/view?usp=sharing

Connect with me

Join my Patreon here:

https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious

Book a free exploratory call with me⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:

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In this solo episode, I'm sharing the emotional processing tool that's completely changed the way I handle difficult emotions. It's called RAIN, and while I didn't create it (it was popularized by meditation teacher Tara Brach), I've adapted it over the years for myself and my coaching clients. It's become one of the most effective ways I know to work through jealousy, calm my nervous system, and show up to difficult conversations feeling grounded instead of reactive.

• R - Recognize Name the emotion (shame, fear, sadness, worry, etc.)

• A - Allow Let the feeling move through your body. Focus on the sensations. Sit or lay down, close your eyes and breathe. It will feel uncomfortable, allow those feelings to come into your body. Ideally at least 20 min. 

• I - Investigate With compassion, ask yourself why you might be feeling that way. How might your past experiences play a role? What’s the lesson there? What do you need?

• N – Nurture Think of what you’d tell a friend if they came to you with your concerns. Tell that to yourself, providing support, love and compassion you need. Give yourself a hug. If you can, do something you think will make you feel better (take a bath, call a friend, journal, exercise etc.)

Resources mentioned:

Jealousy Survival Guide

https://www.polycurious.com/resources

More on RAIN:

Tara Brach's podcast

Audiobook 

⁠Breathwork Exercise⁠ I'd recommend you listen to this, as it's a good explanation of how focusing on your body interrupts the thoughts (helpful for the allow part)

Book a free exploratory call with me⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:

https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min

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https://www.tiktok.com/@polycurious

How do you communicate without turning every hard conversation into a fight? In this community workshop, I share the exact communication tools I use in my coaching practice.

In this episode:

• Why difficult conversations go sideways when you're emotionally activated

• The importance of emotional processing before communication

• Common communication mistakes (and how to avoid them)

• Relationship check-ins: why they matter

• The PIN framework for giving feedback: Perspective, I-statements, Next-time need

• The EVON framework for receiving feedback: Echo, Validate, Own, Next time

  
  

  Resources Mentioned:

  
  

  Slides used in the presentation

  
  

  Check-In Resources:

  Polycurious Episode: How to Fortify Your Relationship

  Relationship Fortification

  RADAR (Multiamory)

  
  

  RAIN Resources:

  My own version of RAIN is explained in this episode 

  Tara Brach's podcast

  Audiobook 

  
  

  Next Meetup is on Emotional Processing

  Add to your calendar here: https://calendar.app.google/31F2WZQxL66YGEaQ9

  
  

In this episode, Sam opens up about discovering his attraction to men later in life, what it was like having his first boyfriend, exploring sexual compatibility for the first time, and working through internalized shame around bisexuality.

Listen to Sam's episode:

https://open.spotify.com/episode/2hy7CGmqLikpnSJNfQPOPO?si=AMPvFjE1RAeuSYiI0Z9S_Q

Sam's website:

https://www.samcharlescoaching.com/

Sam's Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/sexcoachsam/

Book a free exploratory call with me⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:

https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min

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Sex and relationship coach Sam Charles joins me to explore the shadow side of New Relationship Energy: the nervous system rollercoaster. We also talk about the reasons he is no longer over-compromising in romantic relationships, and he shares great tips for navigating the challenges that can emerge in non-monogamy when people are unclear about their agreements, intentions, or capacity.

Resources mentioned:

Sam's Bonus Polycurious episode:

https://open.spotify.com/episode/4BWfzyptQrpHiAmfd9CgJK?si=RaTk0JFsQ-2bDdZqLyJR-w

Sam's website:

https://www.samcharlescoaching.com/

Sam's Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/sexcoachsam/

More on NRE:

How to Deal with NRE

https://open.spotify.com/episode/58QeAd7h1yCBOlAbKDUEAU

All About New Relationship Energy:

https://www.patreon.com/posts/in-case-you-it-131384186/

Book a free exploratory call with me⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:

https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min

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Today I share my experience unexpectedly domming someone for the very first time at a sober kink party, and how stepping into my dominant side helped me rethink my relationship with non-monogamy, begin to untangle some of my daddy issues and feel incredibly empowered. 

Resources mentioned

Carnival Dungeon Party:

https://www.instagram.com/carnivaldngn.co/

Polycurious Patreon:

https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious

My Breakup Story:

https://www.patreon.com/posts/143817525/

Let's Talk About Sexual Desires Episode:

https://www.patreon.com/posts/112339837

Book a free exploratory call with me⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:

https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min

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https://www.polycurious.com/community

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Today, Vee from Girls Gone Deep shares her journey into kink, what makes a great dom, and what people can actually gain from exploring BDSM dynamics. We also dive into what it feels like to want a level of commitment your partner can’t offer, and how to know when it’s time to walk away

Resources mentioned:

Girls Gone Deep Podcast:

https://www.girlsgonedeep.com/episodes

⁠Bonus ep.77 Can You Deescalate Without Breaking Up?⁠:

On Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3UDJ7xPvTfSkYfF8w60M7T?si=j8_tVDw5QpmT2f2Ak21LtQ

On ⁠Patreon⁠: https://www.patreon.com/posts/can-you-de-of-up-156628493

Patreon Meet-up on Breakups:

https://www.patreon.com/posts/next-wed-and-156707476?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=postshare_creator&utm_content=join_link

What To Do When Your Partner is On a Date Episode (RAIN):

https://www.patreon.com/posts/112573033/

Njoy Wand:

https://www.njoytoys.com/product/purewand/

Amber Grubenmann Dating Coach

https://www.instagram.com/ambergrubenmann/

Amber's episode on GGD:

https://open.spotify.com/episode/00bB5cIFH7SHl3GJ3inBik

Get my free guide to opening up ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

https://www.polycurious.com/guide-to-opening-up

Join My Patreon⁠:

https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious

Book a free exploratory call with me⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:

https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min

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What if your head is on board with non-monogamy, but your body freaks out when your partner dates someone else?

Today, Bella and Patrick, who started their relationship long-distance and non-monogamous, share how they learned to navigate  multiple partners, set clear agreements, and regulate their emotions. 

Resources mentioned:

Bella’s Website

https://www.bella-paints.com/coaching

Bella’s Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/bellashepaints/

Bella’s Relationship Agreement Guide

https://www.bella-paints.com/shop/p/the-relationship-agreement-guide

Book Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1944934987/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_apa_gl_i_SRXAD2SK285NG0F99Y0Z?linkCode=ml1&tag=jessicafern-20

Sacred Sons Men’s Group

https://www.sacredsons.com/

Patreon episode: What To Do When Your Partner is On a Date (where I talk about the RAIN method)

https://www.patreon.com/posts/112573033/

Abbey and Liam from the Evolving Love Project return to share more about their journey opening up their relationship. They unpack why fairness doesn’t always mean doing the same things, reflecting on Abbey dating solo for two years before Liam did. They also explore whether compersion—the feeling of joy or happiness for your partner’s experiences with others—is something you can learn, and how it differs from simply feeling turned on by that idea.

Join my Patreon ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:

https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious

Resources mentioned:

Abbey's Substack:

https://substack.com/@evolvingloveproject?utm_source=global-search

Evolving Love Podcast: When Abbey Vetoed Fer:

https://open.spotify.com/episode/47hASJGbb3UfcaWQTxinxC

Ep.42 Can Non-monogamy Make You a Better Parent? with Abbey and Liam:

https://www.polycurious.com/podcast/ep42

Evolving Love Project website:

https://www.evolvingloveproject.com/

Get my free guide to opening up ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

https://www.polycurious.com/guide-to-opening-up

Book a free exploratory call with me⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:

https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min

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Nancy and Jonny spent months focusing on education, workshops, community, and strengthening their communication before taking their first steps into non-monogamy.

In this episode, they share what that intentional process looked like, the challenges they encountered, and how moving slowly helped them build a deeper sense of safety and trust in their relationship.

They also share practical communication tools that helped them navigate difficult emotions, including one simple but powerful question partners can ask each other: Do you need to be helped, hugged, or heard?

Resources mentioned:

Queering Existentialism (Unlearning Mononormativity workshop and others):

https://www.queeringexistentialism.com/

Jonny’s Self-Love playlist:

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1JszNHS2Bw95szUQtDaTG8?si=iModwn0YSR6lbcNv8dVouA&pi=K4mgv1OrTY2g1

House Of Scorpio Lip Service Party

https://www.houseofscorpio.com/index.html

Book: All Fours By Miranda July

https://mirandajuly.com/all-fours/

New York Jacks (Masturbation Party):

https://nyjacks.com/

Sucia Events

https://linktr.ee/suciasundays

My Episode with Evolving Love Podcast:

https://open.spotify.com/episode/47hASJGbb3UfcaWQTxinxC

Ep.52 How to Find Safety with Leo and Luna:

https://www.polycurious.com/podcast/ep52

My Break Up Story and Tips for Going Through a Breakup Part 2:

https://www.patreon.com/posts/my-break-up-and-143818808

Join my Patreon (for the Meetups) ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:

https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious

Get my free guide to opening up ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

https://www.polycurious.com/guide-to-opening-up

Book a free exploratory call with me⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:

https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min

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