Polycurious

Today, Ross and Eden, tantra practitioners, intimacy and relationship coaches, and community builders, share how they evolved from a very polyamorous dating life to a relationship that still leaves room for openness while honoring their nervous systems, emotional capacity, and desire to focus on each other.

We talk about:

• How to distinguish between a partner limiting your freedom out of judgment or control and a reasonable request to slow down while they work through their insecurities.

• The consequences of pursuing relationships that don’t align with what you truly want in a primary partnership, both for yourself and for the people you date.

• Why and how Ross and Eden designed a relationship in which they mostly date and play together, with occasional “hall passes” that let them explore separately three or four times a year.

Listen to Ross and Eden's bonus content on their open phone policy and approach to hierarchy: https://open.spotify.com/episode/58n8FiiFxtGwVRgTByGxAi?si=pNOZfQZaQhid8s44L-ryyA

Connect with Ross and Eden

Eden's IG: https://www.instagram.com/embodiedwitheden/

Ross' IG: https://www.instagram.com/embodi.men/

Sacred Society: https://sacredsocietyproject.com/

Embodimen: https://try.embodimen.com/

Temple of Eden: https://linktr.ee/TempleofEden

⁠Subscribe to Polycurious on Spotify⁠:

https://members.spotify.com/to/polycurious

⁠Subscribe to Polycurious on Patreon⁠:

https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious

Struggling with Non-monogamy? ⁠Book a free exploratory call for coaching here⁠:

https://www.polycurious.com/coaching

Today I share my thoughts about The Invite, a movie about a married couple who invite their neighbors over for dinner. Things are awkward from the start, but they get even more awkward, funny, and real when an unexpected invitation to explore non-monogamy comes up.

The Invite is directed by Olivia Wilde, who also stars in it with Seth Rogen, Penélope Cruz, and Edward Norton. It's a surprisingly real and nuance look at relationships.

Resources mentioned:

Chill Polyamory's Review of the Invite:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xvcdm5hsFto

Subscribe to Polycurious on Spotify:

https://members.spotify.com/to/polycurious

Subscribe to Polycurious on Patreon:

https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious

Struggling with Non-monogamy? Book a free exploratory call for coaching here:

https://www.polycurious.com/coaching

Sarah Stroh talks about her book, Monogamaybe, her process coming to terms with her non-monogamous identity and finding a partner who supported her in that journey. We discuss how to manage and process jealousy and what agreements look like in non-monogamy when you want to be your best poly self but the reality is you’re struggling. 

Resourced mentioned:

Sarah's bonus episode on Spotify:

https://open.spotify.com/episode/2Knenv8lsQpqdXo57e9ZJ8?si=dEnFvBDDQmKjSQJMJRzA-g

Sarah's bonus episode on Patreon:

https://www.patreon.com/Polycurious/posts/dating-as-new-ep-171433818

Ep.45 Poly and Pregnant with Sarah Stroh⁠

https://www.polycurious.com/podcast/ep45

Sarah's book Monogamaybe? : Honest advice on navigating relationships from monogamy to polyamory:

https://www.monogamish.me/pages/monogamaybe

When Jealousy Shows Up (Sarah's 12 min video guide):

https://www.monogamish.me/courses/hack-your-jealousy

Polycurious' Jealousy Survival Guide:

https://www.polycurious.com/resources

Follow Sarah on IG:

https://www.instagram.com/monogamish_me/

Subscribe to Sarah's Substack:

https://substack.com/@monogamish

Follow Polycurious on IG:

https://www.instagram.com/polycuriouspodcast/

Subscribe to Polycurious on Spotify⁠:

https://members.spotify.com/to/polycurious

⁠Subscribe to Polycurious on Patreon⁠:

https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious

Natalie Davis, author of the memoir Saying Yes: My Adventures in Polyamory, shares her journey into polyamory, from opening up her marriage in her 40s after her husband’s infidelity to navigating living with her metamours.

Natalie also opens up about the end of a decade long relationship after her partner began dating someone new and could no longer offer her the kind of relationship she wanted. She reflects on what she’s learned about letting go when a relationship no longer works for you.

Resources Mentioned

Check out Natalie’s book:

https://www.amazon.com/Saying-Yes-My-Adventures-Polyamory/dp/1510784497/ref=sr_1_1?crid=JEYQUH4XM8HM&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9._tsLaAlh__BGiuGLnZJLiw.JX2srBOBjj6OyQxCQ153pHkVP0TiswCxul7POet7l2U&dib_tag=se&keywords=saying+yes+my+adventures+in+polyamory&qid=1750961117&s=books&sprefix=saying+yes+my+adventures+in+polyamory%2Cstripbooks%2C62&sr=1-1

Learn more about OPEN:

https://www.open-love.org/

Ep.59 with Adam, author of “Seek the Risk”

https://www.polycurious.com/podcast/ep59

Ep.46 with Molly Roden Winter, author of “More”: 

https://www.polycurious.com/podcast/ep46

Book a free exploratory call with me⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:

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Cat, Natalie, and Joshua from The Kink Collective talk about their experience building a triad.

We talk about honesty and transparency in non monogamy, especially when telling the full truth feels scary because you’re worried about your partner’s reaction, and what happens when you struggle to trust a partner who isn’t fully transparent.

Natalie also shares her experience entering an established relationship, navigating Joshua’s other partners, and realizing she sometimes compared Cat to her own mom because of their significant age difference.

Finally, we talk about letting go of expectations about what a relationship is “supposed” to look like and allowing their triad to develop organically.

Resourced mentioned:

The Kink Collective Website:

https://kinkcollective.net/

Book a free exploratory call with me⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:

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When Courtney proposed opening their marriage on their 17th anniversary, their relationship was struggling. Nate was a devoted father and provider, but he had become emotionally distant. Courtney’s proposal was initially met with anger, judgment, and fears that she was trying to replace him.

Through therapy, difficult conversations, and learning to sit with jealousy instead of trying to fix it, Nate gradually came to understand that Courtney’s desire for non-monogamy wasn’t a rejection of him, it was part of who she is.

As Courtney began dating, Nate saw her become happier, more present, and more connected to their family. At the same time, he worked on himself and became the partner Courtney had been missing.

Today, more than two decades into their marriage, Courtney and Nate have built a mono-poly relationship that works for them. In this episode, they share what it took to get there.

Resources mentioned:

Bonus ep.81 on Spotify:

https://open.spotify.com/episode/0gQfpMLtNwt6lHBskEhEoJ?si=846f1b613a1e49e6

On Patreon:

https://www.patreon.com/Polycurious/posts/getting-over-ask-167701931

The Mono-Poly Couple YouTube channel:

https://www.youtube.com/@TheMonoPolyCouple

Courtney's website (coaching, books, retreats):

www.courtneyboyercoaching.com/

Their Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/themonopolycouple/

Polycurious ep.80 How To Process Jealousy and Difficult Emotions:

https://open.spotify.com/episode/7CtSRE2pLUVQDldirevmT8?si=77aacf23ba004382

Jealousy Survival Guide:

https://www.polycurious.com/resources

⁠Join My Patreon⁠⁠:

https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious

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In this special episode, I'm sharing a live recording from Open to Open, a panel discussion I joined in Denver hosted by coaches Bella Schauer and Booster Blake. We share our personal experiences and answer questions about New Relationship Energy, honesty, repair after conflict, and boundaries,

Resources mentioned:

Couple's Fall Retreat info:

https://www.bella-paints.com/retreats

Bella's email:

[email protected]

My episode with Jessica Esfandiary:

https://www.polycurious.com/podcast/ep35

My episode with Bella & Patrick:

https://www.polycurious.com/podcast2/ep76

My episode with Seth:

https://www.polycurious.com/podcast/ep12

Paul's harmony card:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1OAYSWfsjuhOzXoZ9KLargqVlzu6QCssY/view?usp=sharing

Connect with me

Join my Patreon here:

https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious

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In this solo episode, I'm sharing the emotional processing tool that's completely changed the way I handle difficult emotions. It's called RAIN, and while I didn't create it (it was popularized by meditation teacher Tara Brach), I've adapted it over the years for myself and my coaching clients. It's become one of the most effective ways I know to work through jealousy, calm my nervous system, and show up to difficult conversations feeling grounded instead of reactive.

• R - Recognize Name the emotion (shame, fear, sadness, worry, etc.)

• A - Allow Let the feeling move through your body. Focus on the sensations. Sit or lay down, close your eyes and breathe. It will feel uncomfortable, allow those feelings to come into your body. Ideally at least 20 min. 

• I - Investigate With compassion, ask yourself why you might be feeling that way. How might your past experiences play a role? What’s the lesson there? What do you need?

• N – Nurture Think of what you’d tell a friend if they came to you with your concerns. Tell that to yourself, providing support, love and compassion you need. Give yourself a hug. If you can, do something you think will make you feel better (take a bath, call a friend, journal, exercise etc.)

Resources mentioned:

Jealousy Survival Guide

https://www.polycurious.com/resources

More on RAIN:

Tara Brach's podcast

Audiobook 

⁠Breathwork Exercise⁠ I'd recommend you listen to this, as it's a good explanation of how focusing on your body interrupts the thoughts (helpful for the allow part)

Book a free exploratory call with me⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:

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How do you communicate without turning every hard conversation into a fight? In this community workshop, I share the exact communication tools I use in my coaching practice.

In this episode:

• Why difficult conversations go sideways when you're emotionally activated

• The importance of emotional processing before communication

• Common communication mistakes (and how to avoid them)

• Relationship check-ins: why they matter

• The PIN framework for giving feedback: Perspective, I-statements, Next-time need

• The EVON framework for receiving feedback: Echo, Validate, Own, Next time

  
  

  Resources Mentioned:

  
  

  Slides used in the presentation

  
  

  Check-In Resources:

  Polycurious Episode: How to Fortify Your Relationship

  Relationship Fortification

  RADAR (Multiamory)

  
  

  RAIN Resources:

  My own version of RAIN is explained in this episode 

  Tara Brach's podcast

  Audiobook 

  
  

  Next Meetup is on Emotional Processing

  Add to your calendar here: https://calendar.app.google/31F2WZQxL66YGEaQ9

  
  

What We Cover

• How to know if your relationship is ready

• What to expect: jealousy, guilt & imbalance

• Common mistakes to avoid

• Why you should move at the pace of the slowest partner

• How to handle jealousy

• Jealousy is normal and workable

• Communication is everything: don't bring up issues in the moment unless absolutely neccesary

• Go slow, but keep moving

Questions To Discuss When Opening Up Your Relationship

Patreon: What To Do When Your Partner is On a Date (goes over RAIN exercise for jealousy)

Ep. 48 Don't Ask Don't Tell But Different

Want more support?

Reach out for coaching at [email protected] 💌