Polycurious

Polycurious

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Polycurious episodes

  • 84. Could I Live Without Non-Monogamy?

    Sarah Stroh talks about her book, Monogamaybe, her process coming to terms with her non-monogamous identity and finding a partner who supported her in that journey. We discuss how to manage and process jealousy and what agreements look like in non-monogamy when you want to be your best poly self but the reality is you’re struggling. 


    Resourced mentioned:


    Sarah's bonus episode on Spotify:

    https://open.spotify.com/episode/2Knenv8lsQpqdXo57e9ZJ8?si=dEnFvBDDQmKjSQJMJRzA-g


    Sarah's bonus episode on Patreon:

    https://www.patreon.com/Polycurious/posts/dating-as-new-ep-171433818


    Ep.45 Poly and Pregnant with Sarah Stroh⁠

    https://www.polycurious.com/podcast/ep45


    Sarah's book Monogamaybe? : Honest advice on navigating relationships from monogamy to polyamory:


    https://www.monogamish.me/pages/monogamaybe


    When Jealousy Shows Up (Sarah's 12 min video guide):


    https://www.monogamish.me/courses/hack-your-jealousy


    Polycurious' Jealousy Survival Guide:

    https://www.polycurious.com/resources


    Follow Sarah on IG:

    https://www.instagram.com/monogamish_me/


    Subscribe to Sarah's Substack:

    https://substack.com/@monogamish


    Follow Polycurious on IG:

    https://www.instagram.com/polycuriouspodcast/


    Subscribe to Polycurious on Spotify⁠:

    https://members.spotify.com/to/polycurious


    ⁠Subscribe to Polycurious on Patreon⁠:

    https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious



    1 hr 3 min
  • 83. Opening Up After Infidelity, Breakups and Living with Your Metamours with Natalie Davis (author of Saying Yes)

    Natalie Davis, author of the memoir Saying Yes: My Adventures in Polyamory, shares her journey into polyamory, from opening up her marriage in her 40s after her husband’s infidelity to navigating living with her metamours.

    Natalie also opens up about the end of a decade long relationship after her partner began dating someone new and could no longer offer her the kind of relationship she wanted. She reflects on what she’s learned about letting go when a relationship no longer works for you.


    Resources Mentioned


    Check out Natalie’s book:

    https://www.amazon.com/Saying-Yes-My-Adventures-Polyamory/dp/1510784497/ref=sr_1_1?crid=JEYQUH4XM8HM&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9._tsLaAlh__BGiuGLnZJLiw.JX2srBOBjj6OyQxCQ153pHkVP0TiswCxul7POet7l2U&dib_tag=se&keywords=saying+yes+my+adventures+in+polyamory&qid=1750961117&s=books&sprefix=saying+yes+my+adventures+in+polyamory%2Cstripbooks%2C62&sr=1-1


    Learn more about OPEN:

    https://www.open-love.org/


    Ep.59 with Adam, author of “Seek the Risk”

    https://www.polycurious.com/podcast/ep59


    Ep.46 with Molly Roden Winter, author of “More”: 

    https://www.polycurious.com/podcast/ep46


    Book a free exploratory call with me⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:


    https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min


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    1 hr 8 min
  • 82. Lessons From Building a Triad with The Kink Collective

    Cat, Natalie, and Joshua from The Kink Collective talk about their experience building a triad.

    We talk about honesty and transparency in non monogamy, especially when telling the full truth feels scary because you’re worried about your partner’s reaction, and what happens when you struggle to trust a partner who isn’t fully transparent.

    Natalie also shares her experience entering an established relationship, navigating Joshua’s other partners, and realizing she sometimes compared Cat to her own mom because of their significant age difference.

    Finally, we talk about letting go of expectations about what a relationship is “supposed” to look like and allowing their triad to develop organically.


    Resourced mentioned:


    The Kink Collective Website:

    https://kinkcollective.net/


    Book a free exploratory call with me⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:


    https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min


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    1 hr 10 min
  • 81. When Your Partner Doesn't Want Non-monogamy with Courtney and Nate (the Mono-Poly couple)

    When Courtney proposed opening their marriage on their 17th anniversary, their relationship was struggling. Nate was a devoted father and provider, but he had become emotionally distant. Courtney’s proposal was initially met with anger, judgment, and fears that she was trying to replace him.


    Through therapy, difficult conversations, and learning to sit with jealousy instead of trying to fix it, Nate gradually came to understand that Courtney’s desire for non-monogamy wasn’t a rejection of him, it was part of who she is.


    As Courtney began dating, Nate saw her become happier, more present, and more connected to their family. At the same time, he worked on himself and became the partner Courtney had been missing.


    Today, more than two decades into their marriage, Courtney and Nate have built a mono-poly relationship that works for them. In this episode, they share what it took to get there.


    Resources mentioned:


    Bonus ep.81 on Spotify:

    https://open.spotify.com/episode/0gQfpMLtNwt6lHBskEhEoJ?si=846f1b613a1e49e6


    On Patreon:

    https://www.patreon.com/Polycurious/posts/getting-over-ask-167701931


    The Mono-Poly Couple YouTube channel:

    https://www.youtube.com/@TheMonoPolyCouple


    Courtney's website (coaching, books, retreats):

    www.courtneyboyercoaching.com/


    Their Instagram:

    https://www.instagram.com/themonopolycouple/


    Polycurious ep.80 How To Process Jealousy and Difficult Emotions:

    https://open.spotify.com/episode/7CtSRE2pLUVQDldirevmT8?si=77aacf23ba004382


    Jealousy Survival Guide:

    https://www.polycurious.com/resources


    ⁠Join My Patreon⁠⁠:

    https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious


    Book a free exploratory call with me⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:


    https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min


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    1 hr 1 min
  • Open to Open Panel Recording

    In this special episode, I'm sharing a live recording from Open to Open, a panel discussion I joined in Denver hosted by coaches Bella Schauer and Booster Blake. We share our personal experiences and answer questions about New Relationship Energy, honesty, repair after conflict, and boundaries,


    Resources mentioned:


    Couple's Fall Retreat info:

    https://www.bella-paints.com/retreats


    Bella's email:

    [email protected]


    My episode with Jessica Esfandiary:

    https://www.polycurious.com/podcast/ep35


    My episode with Bella & Patrick:

    https://www.polycurious.com/podcast2/ep76


    My episode with Seth:

    https://www.polycurious.com/podcast/ep12


    Paul's harmony card:

    https://drive.google.com/file/d/1OAYSWfsjuhOzXoZ9KLargqVlzu6QCssY/view?usp=sharing


    Connect with me


    Join my Patreon here:

    https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious


    Book a free exploratory call with me⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:


    https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min


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    1 hr 30 min
  • 80. How To Process Jealousy and Difficult Emotions

    In this solo episode, I'm sharing the emotional processing tool that's completely changed the way I handle difficult emotions. It's called RAIN, and while I didn't create it (it was popularized by meditation teacher Tara Brach), I've adapted it over the years for myself and my coaching clients. It's become one of the most effective ways I know to work through jealousy, calm my nervous system, and show up to difficult conversations feeling grounded instead of reactive.


    • R - Recognize Name the emotion (shame, fear, sadness, worry, etc.)

    • A - Allow Let the feeling move through your body. Focus on the sensations. Sit or lay down, close your eyes and breathe. It will feel uncomfortable, allow those feelings to come into your body. Ideally at least 20 min. 

    • I - Investigate With compassion, ask yourself why you might be feeling that way. How might your past experiences play a role? What’s the lesson there? What do you need?

    • N – Nurture Think of what you’d tell a friend if they came to you with your concerns. Tell that to yourself, providing support, love and compassion you need. Give yourself a hug. If you can, do something you think will make you feel better (take a bath, call a friend, journal, exercise etc.)


    Resources mentioned:


    Jealousy Survival Guide

    https://www.polycurious.com/resources


    More on RAIN:

    Tara Brach's podcast

    Audiobook 


    ⁠Breathwork Exercise⁠ I'd recommend you listen to this, as it's a good explanation of how focusing on your body interrupts the thoughts (helpful for the allow part)


    Book a free exploratory call with me⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:


    https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min


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    27 min
  • Meetup Recording: How To Stop Arguing

    How do you communicate without turning every hard conversation into a fight? In this community workshop, I share the exact communication tools I use in my coaching practice.

    In this episode:

    • Why difficult conversations go sideways when you're emotionally activated

    • The importance of emotional processing before communication

    • Common communication mistakes (and how to avoid them)

    • Relationship check-ins: why they matter

    • The PIN framework for giving feedback: Perspective, I-statements, Next-time need

    • The EVON framework for receiving feedback: Echo, Validate, Own, Next time


      Resources Mentioned:


      Slides used in the presentation


      Check-In Resources:

      Polycurious Episode: How to Fortify Your Relationship

      Relationship Fortification

      RADAR (Multiamory)


      RAIN Resources:

      My own version of RAIN is explained in this episode 

      Tara Brach's podcast

      Audiobook 


      Next Meetup is on Emotional Processing

      Add to your calendar here: https://calendar.app.google/31F2WZQxL66YGEaQ9


    47 min
  • Opening Up Without The Mess (Meet-up)

    What We Cover

    • How to know if your relationship is ready

    • What to expect: jealousy, guilt & imbalance

    • Common mistakes to avoid

    • Why you should move at the pace of the slowest partner

    • How to handle jealousy

    • Jealousy is normal and workable

    • Communication is everything: don't bring up issues in the moment unless absolutely neccesary

    • Go slow, but keep moving

    Questions To Discuss When Opening Up Your Relationship

    Patreon: What To Do When Your Partner is On a Date (goes over RAIN exercise for jealousy)

    Ep. 48 Don't Ask Don't Tell But Different


    Want more support?

    Reach out for coaching at [email protected] 💌


    47 min
  • Bonus ep.79 Exploring Bisexuality as a Man

    In this episode, Sam opens up about discovering his attraction to men later in life, what it was like having his first boyfriend, exploring sexual compatibility for the first time, and working through internalized shame around bisexuality.


    Listen to Sam's episode:

    https://open.spotify.com/episode/2hy7CGmqLikpnSJNfQPOPO?si=AMPvFjE1RAeuSYiI0Z9S_Q


    Sam's website:

    https://www.samcharlescoaching.com/


    Sam's Instagram:

    https://www.instagram.com/sexcoachsam/


    Book a free exploratory call with me⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:


    https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min


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    20 min
  • 79. The Problem with NRE (New Relationship Energy) with Sam Charles

    Sex and relationship coach Sam Charles joins me to explore the shadow side of New Relationship Energy: the nervous system rollercoaster. We also talk about the reasons he is no longer over-compromising in romantic relationships, and he shares great tips for navigating the challenges that can emerge in non-monogamy when people are unclear about their agreements, intentions, or capacity.


    Resources mentioned:


    Sam's Bonus Polycurious episode:

    https://open.spotify.com/episode/4BWfzyptQrpHiAmfd9CgJK?si=RaTk0JFsQ-2bDdZqLyJR-w


    Sam's website:

    https://www.samcharlescoaching.com/


    Sam's Instagram:

    https://www.instagram.com/sexcoachsam/


    More on NRE:


    How to Deal with NRE

    https://open.spotify.com/episode/58QeAd7h1yCBOlAbKDUEAU

    All About New Relationship Energy:

    https://www.patreon.com/posts/in-case-you-it-131384186/


    Book a free exploratory call with me⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:


    https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min


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    1 hr 11 min

About Polycurious

From the publisher's feed

Non-monogamy is not for everyone, but you might be curious about it. Could it be right for you? How do non-monogamous couples deal with jealousy? I was curious myself, and the more I asked, the more I…

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