Welcome back to our series on control! This week, we're talking about control from the perspective of the person who wants to have the control or power in the relationship. There are a multitude of reasons why someone might want to control another person, which we're going to explore in this episode. We'll also discuss the science of control, and talk about a few ways one can move away from controlling behavior and towards a more loving and equitable relationship.

Join Dedeker and Orit Krug for our polyamory somatic retreat in northern Spain (September 22-25, 2025) - sliding scale pricing available, use code MULTI when you apply at www.multiamory.com/retreat
Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.

Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.
Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.
Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com.

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Welcome to part one of our deep dive into control in relationships! Every relationship has power dynamics, but when they get out of control it can be devastating. In this episode, we'll be discussing the experience of loss of control in a relationship, why it might happen, and what to do if you find yourself on this end of the control spectrum.

Join Dedeker and Orit Krug for our polyamory somatic retreat in northern Spain (September 22-25, 2025) - sliding scale pricing available, use code MULTI when you apply at www.multiamory.com/retreat.

Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.


Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.
Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.
Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com.

We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're tackling a question from one of our Supercast subscribers about equity in multiple relationships, feel prioritized, and how to handle tough conversations about energy, money, and mismatched desire in relationships.

Become one of our Supercast subscribers at multiamory.com/join to get your question answered on a future Q&A episode!

Join Dedeker and Orit Krug for our polyamory somatic retreat in northern Spain (September 22-25, 2025) - sliding scale pricing available, use code MULTI when you apply at www.multiamory.com/retreat.
Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.


Get 20% off your first order of the world's smartest cat litter at prettylitter.com/multiamory with promo code MULTIAMORY
Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.
Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.
Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com.

We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, we're diving into what happens when a partner asks you to change, whether it's a small behavioral change or a big fundamental or values change. Regardless of what kind, change can be difficult, for both the one asking for change and the one being asked to change. We're going to discuss the feelings that arise when being asked to change as well as evaluating what is and isn't acceptable to ask of someone.

Join Dedeker and Orit Krug for our polyamory somatic retreat in northern Spain (September 22-25, 2025) - sliding scale pricing available, use code MULTI when you apply at www.multiamory.com/retreat.

Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.


Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.
Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.
Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com.

We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're joined by Julie Krafchick and Yue Xu from the podcast Dateable to talk about--you guessed it--how to be dateable. We're going to be talking about traditional dating advice, dating archetypes, different perspectives on dating, and more!

Julie and Yue are active daters turned dating insiders, and top influential voices of modern dating, relationships, and connection in the digital world. They’re the authors of How To Be Dateable: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Person and Falling in Love and the co-hosts of the hit podcast Dateable, which has been named one of the top podcasts about modern dating and relationships by the New York Times, The Huffington Post, Oprah Daily, and more.

Join Dedeker and Orit Krug for our polyamory somatic retreat in northern Spain (September 22-25, 2025) - sliding scale pricing available, use code MULTI when you apply at www.multiamory.com/retreat.

Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.


Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.
Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.
Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com.

We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're returning to attachment theory this week as we go over some of the criticisms it has faced since rising in popularity. For some, attachment theory has been a powerful tool of self-discovery, but others dismiss it as pseudo pop psychology. Where do you fall on that spectrum of credibility?

Today we're discussing the cases for and against attachment theory and whether or not non-monogamy can help heal unhealthy attachments.

For more fundamentals on attachment theory, check out https://www.multiamory.com/podcast/291-attachment-theory-and-polyamory and https://www.multiamory.com/podcast/82-attachment-styles

Join Dedeker and Orit Krug for our polyamory somatic retreat in northern Spain (September 22-25, 2025) - sliding scale pricing available, use code MULTI when you apply at www.multiamory.com/retreat.

Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.


Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.
Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.
Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com.

We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're back with another Q&A episode this week! Today we'll be discussing some listener questions about using the word "love" in a relationship, polyamorous identity, and talking about non-monogamy with friends and family who think it's all about the sex.

Join Dedeker and Orit Krug for our polyamory somatic retreat in northern Spain (September 22-25, 2025) - sliding scale pricing available, use code MULTI when you apply at www.multiamory.com/retreat.

Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.


Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.
Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.
Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com.

We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're bringing back a popular episode on relationship conflict. We're talking about three different patterns that show up in conflicts, how to recognize which one is showing up for yourself, and discuss some ways to disrupt the pattern and create new choreography with your partner(s).

Join Dedeker and Orit Krug for our polyamory somatic retreat in northern Spain (September 22-25, 2025) - sliding scale pricing available, use code MULTI when you apply at www.multiamory.com/retreat.
Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.


Get 20% off your first order of the world's smartest cat litter at prettylitter.com/multiamory with promo code MULTIAMORY
Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.
Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.
Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com.

We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're discussing cognitive reappraisal, or the notion of thinking your way out of a negative emotional response to a given situation. We'll be going over research available on cognitive reappraisal, what it looks like in real life, and whether or not it's just gaslighting yourself into feeling like your relationship is better than it actually is.

Join Dedeker and Orit Krug for our polyamory somatic retreat in northern Spain (September 22-25, 2025) - sliding scale pricing available, use code MULTI when you apply at www.multiamory.com/retreat.

Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.


Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.
Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.
Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com.

We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we're getting into the nitty gritty details of ending relationships, whether it's by breaking up or de-escalating. We'll be discussing all the different ways relationships constantly change, defining some terms for uncoupling, how to navigate the challenges of separating, and some practical ways you can make these transitions smoother, healthier, and a more positive experience for everyone.
Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.

Practice love every day with Paired, the #1 app for couples. Download the app at paired.com/MULTI.

Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.
Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.
Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com.

We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices