Polycurious

In this episode Seth and I talk about why he’s never lost his confidence as a monogamous man in a non-monogamous relationship. We unpack how we approach "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" (spoiler: it’s not what you think!) and share what we’ve learned about making a mono-open dynamic work.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Ep.12 She's Open He's Not with Fer & Seth

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Polycurious is one of the 25 top non-monogamy podcasts:

https://podcast.feedspot.com/non_monogamy_podcasts/

Today I'm giving you a little sample of a Patreon episode.

Feeling NRE (New Relationship Energy) in non-monogamy for the first time?

If you're connecting with someone outside your primary relationship, you might freak out a bit (I sure did!). Here’s what I wish I knew:

• Thinking about your new lover more than your partner is normal and it will likely go away: Infatuation often comes with intense emotions and short-term, obsessive attachment. Remember, you likely felt the same for your primary partner once—it will fade. 

• You might feel guilty: If you haven't discussed this with your partner, guilt can creep in. It’s crucial to talk about what happens if someone catches feelings. Falling in love isn’t something you can control—be ready for it.

• You might doubt your primary relationship even if it’s going great: This is monogamous conditioning at play. Society teaches us that loving someone else means something’s wrong. It takes time to unlearn that belief.

Resources:

NRE Newsletter Post 

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Book an exploratory call here: https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min

https://www.patreon.com/Polycurious

In the last episode of the Poly Parents mini-series I spoke to Molly Roden Winter, author of the New York Times Bestseller More: A Memoir of Open Marriage. We spoke about her experience overcoming shame as a non-monogamous mother and how opening up her marriage helped her grow and learn about herself.

Get Molly's book here!

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Today, I talk to writer and coach Sarah Stroh (Monogamish_me on Instagram), a week before giving birth. We speak of how becoming pregnant changed the dating game for her and put her identity as a flirty and adventurous person into question. She also tells us about what led her to decide to co-parent with a friend and how that influenced her partner. 

Connect with Sarah:

Instagram

Substack

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In the second part of my conversation with this couple, we discuss their transition from being open to polyamory, partially due to their three kids leaving for college. They each share their unique methods of dealing with jealousy and other challenging emotions, as well as how they've adapted to these feelings. Finally, they talk about their experience of revealing their non-monogamous relationship to their children, and the unexpected outcomes that followed.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Carol & David's Episode: Unlearning Monogamy

⁠Esther Perel's Questions to Build Adaptability⁠

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This couple decided to open up their marriage after two decades together. Today, they share some of the challenges they faced during that transition, such as learning how much to share about their outside relationships with one another. They also tell us how they used Craiglist (believe it or not) to find a match for their first non-monogamous date. Lastly, they give great tips around finding community.

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Our email is [email protected]

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Abbey and Liam are the voices behind Evolving Love Project, a platform that explores non-monogamy and conscious relationships through Abbey’s writing, their podcast, and conversation evenings and retreats in Australia.

In our conversation they tell us how being non-monogamous has helped them reconnect with their independence and return to their family life feeling refreshed. They also reveal how their sexual relationship changed after having their son and what they did to bring back the spice and reconnect. Lastly, we speak of their experience coming out as non-monogamous parents in Australian television.

Connect with them:

evolvingloveproject.com

Evolving Love Project IG

Evolving Love Project Substack

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Book: Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel

Jessica Fern's Books

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Chamberlin and Michael struggled a lot in their relationship, having periods of opening and closing, cheating and hurting each other and ultimately breaking up. About a month after they broke up, Chamberlin found out that she was pregnant. And for reasons we discuss in the podcast, this pregnancy completely shifted their relationship, for the best.

Today we also talk about Michael’s process getting comfortable with having threesomes with other men. So if you are in a heterosexual partnership where you might want to bring a second man in, you might find some useful insights in here.

Book a free exploratory coaching session with me ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Today I chat with metamours JD and Lorena, as well as their common partner Aviva (a metamour is a partner’s partner.) Even though Aviva and Lorena were dating first, JD has become Aviva’s nesting partner. And today we chat about how even though that transition was a little difficult, Lorena was also very happy for Aviva and JD, someone she knew and really liked. I was left feeling warm from this conversation as I could really tell there is so much love and respect between the three of them. I hope that regardless of whether you are close with your metamours or not you can take them as an inspiration in your journey.

Resources discussed in this episode:

Follow Aviva on Instagram at avivalaviv

Check out her website avivalaviv.com

Book a free exploratory coaching session with me ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min

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