Today’s episode of Burn After Listening dives headfirst into the kind of headlines that make you question how society hasn’t completely short-circuited yet. First, we head to Florida, where a man with a long history of pool float theft finally pleads guilty—after admitting he stole 75 inflatables for sexual gratification. Then we jump to California, where a simple CBD purchase turned into a financial nightmare when a woman accidentally tipped a vape shop $5,000... and her bank let it ride for almost a year. And if that’s not enough chaos, we head to Washington State, where a drunk and armed DoorDash driver stormed a customer’s home demanding a tip—with a loaded gun in his waistband.

These aren’t viral pranks or clickbait hoaxes—they’re real, documented incidents that show just how thin the line is between absurdity and danger. We break down the full stories, dig into the failures of corporate policy, criminal justice, and human judgment, and—of course—do it all with the cynical clarity you’ve come to expect from Burn After Listening.