Apes. Monsters. We all know them. We all love them. We all admire them. Whether it’s King Kong, Godzilla or the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man it’s fair to say that everyone enjoys seeing something very large do violence to a populated area. These are exactly the kind of special effects laden movies that you might expect The Asylum to struggle with so their mockbuster of Godzilla Vs Kong definitely conjures a degree of concern. Is that concern warranted? Find out by listening along as HJDoom reviews Ape Vs Monster.

Who doesn’t love a very cheap movie based on a successful film adaptation of a wildly successful novel written by a man who writes with all the grace and flair of a malfunctioning toilet? That’s what we get with The Asylum’s The Da Vinci Treasure, a mockbuster of the 2006 adaptation of The Da Vinci Code. They may not have Tom Hanks or Paul Bettany but they do have C Thomas Howell and a depressingly brief turn from Lance Henrikson. Join us for a truly wild ride that takes in London, half of Italy, Athens very briefly, and also Afghanistan for some reason in search of treasure hidden by Leonardo Da Vinci for very unclear reasons.

Edge of Tomorrow is great. A really solid high concept scifi action movie anchored by Tom Cruise and Emily Blunt’s undeniable chemistry. Age of Tomorrow, The Asylum’s mockbuster of the same movie is a little different in that it’s not high concept, there’s very little action, and the leads have the kind of chemistry you would associate with rotting vegetable matter. I can usually find something laudable about these films but this one is a bit of a struggle. Listen along to find out how The Asylum goes about filming a serious fire in a building they only have for the afternoon.

Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter was a somewhat unsuccessful film but that’s never been a barrier to The Asylum trying to cash in on someone else’s marketing budget. In this case they simply replaced the vampires with zombies and the budget with the contents of a child’s dressing up box. They do at least have noted character actor Bill Oberst Jr playing the lead but will that be enough to redeem this film? Listen along to find out.

It’s something of a double header this episode as I actually sat down and watched Morbius, the film that Dracula: The Original Living Vampire is mockbustering. Morbius, it may shock you to learn is not a good movie but there’s always the possibility that The Asylum will manage to turn out something even worse. Listen along to find out.

It’s possible there are worse film makers out there than Michael Bay and if there are they’ve almost certainly worked for The Asylum at some point. Transmorphers is their attempt to recreate the cinematic magic of Bay’s Transformers movie, an astonishing franchise that somehow manages to be much stupidity than the Saturday morning cartoon from the 80s. How well does it work? Listen along to find out.

When the villainous Loki is trying to cause Ragnarok there’s only one person you can turn to - Kevin Nash. In the unlikely event that Kevin Nash doesn’t make it then it’s going to fall to his son Baldir to deal with the menace. In the even more unlikely event that Baldir also dies horribly then I guess a young Thor’s going to have to step up to the plate to prevent a multiverse shattering apocalypse. How does this pan out? Listen along to find out.

Once upon a time you couldn't move for gorillas in the movies and, thanks to the King Kong remake in 2005, the Asylum got on some of that sweet ape action. Ostensibly an adaptation of Arthur Conan Doyle's Lost World this horribly cheap jungle adventure features Bruce Boxleitner as the token actor you've heard of. How bad does the giant ape look? Listen along to find out.

The sheer brass neck of making an unauthorised sequel to Titanic is in many ways the most impressive thing about this film. Is it possible to remake one of the greatest visual spectacles in modern cinema without access to vast quantities of money? Is it possible to do it without access to a boat? All these questions and more will be answered in this week’s episode.

If there’s one thing The Asylum loves it’s riffing on the work of James Cameron. Battle for Pandora, timed to coincide with the release of Avatar: The Way of Water in 2022 attempts to ride on the coattails of Cameron’s beautiful but boring science fiction epics. There’s no money for an actual epic so instead they follow a well-worn path in low budget science fiction. How well does it land? Listen along to find out.