Popup Cantonese

Ever heard of Hong Kong's famous Tuen Mun yoghurt or the blue cheese of Leung Shuen Wan? We're betting you haven't, if only because neither happens to exist. And sad as that may be to consider, it's hardly surprising given the appalling state of the Hong Kong dairy industry. There is probably not another place with a lower cow-to-human ratio outside the Maldives, which at least has nice beaches.

So - yes - we know that you're busy studying Cantonese and enjoying the local nightlife and Hong Kong's amazing cuisine, but consider this elementary Cantonese lesson a critical reminder: there is more to life than dim sum and more than three basic food groups in the health pyramid. Useful to bear in mind if you don't want to end up like the poor soul in our dialogue for today....

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The creaking gate stirred Tuan Tuan from his slumber. It was eleven o'clock, and Yuan Yuan, who had been sleeping peacefully in the thicket beside him, growled at the disruption. They were not the best of friends, but on this the two creatures could agree: what fools they had for keepers! Tuan Tuan briefly contemplated shifting slightly to express his displeasure at the interruption, but his natural lethargy and ongoing battle with the the previous evening's dinner won out. He remained prone.

And yet the giant beast nonetheless kept a groggy eye on the sole figure which had emerged into his dwelling, huffing in a white overcoat while wheeling in what appeared to be a giant black box. Disappointment settled in his heart at seeing this most unimaginative of gifts. And then it occurred to the creature that perhaps this too would be filled with bamboo. And who could ever complain about bamboo?

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We'll admit that male grooming patterns in Hong Kong continue to mystify us even after several years of exposure. But while we aren't this mean in real life, it's inevitable that sometimes you might want to be, because it doesn't take a lot of getting quoted the foreign prices before you'll want to toss out a bit of fluent Cantonese to drag the prices down. And that's exactly where this Cantonese lesson comes into play....

Starting to learn Cantonese? This lesson is intended for students with a bit of background in the Cantonese language, so if you're an absolute beginner this one is going to be too difficult for you. Instead, navigate to our first Critical Phrases lesson in our series of Basic Cantonese lessons. You'll be back up here in no time ready to tackle our more difficult material.

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Now that we're at the advanced level we can afford to be straight with you: Hong Kong is not as perfect as we have led you to believe. Sadly, the city still has the occasional faults. And while there aren't many of them, we'd be doing you a disservice to gloss over the worst this city has to offer. And that's why Nicole is joined today by two friends on a mission to expose the seamy underbelly of everyone's favorite Cantonese-speaking city.

Yes... they're talking about bad restaurants today. If you're in Hong Kong, there's no reason to settle for second best when it comes to dining, and absolutely no reason to lose two days to chronic stomach pain thanks to food poisoning from grotty dim-sum. So join us today for our quick review of what we consider the top restaurants to avoid during your stay in Hong Kong. And if you aren't fluent yet, let the threat of missing this essential knowledge be powerful motivation to keep studying....

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Being in the global trade business meant frequent trips around Southern Asia strengthening connections with suppliers. At one time this had been a major benefit of working in the field, and one of the reasons Nancy entered the sourcing industry. Yet this time was different, because no matter how beautiful the scenery, Nancy couldn't help but think of the new puppy she had been forced to leave at home.

It was true that she had only raised Brewster for a few months, but he was already part of the family and completely dependent on her, and God only knows how the poor creature would deal with her week-long absence. So while she'd asked a friend to drop by and take care of him while she was gone, Nancy couldn't help feel that this - her entire lifestyle - was a betrayal of sorts. And she resolved to make it up to him when she returned.

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Learning Cantonese? One of the things you'll learn about us here at Popup Cantonese is that we move at a pretty fast pace. But we know some of you are struggling to keep up, which is why in today's lesson we take a step back and review some of the things we've learned at the Beginner level up to now. And if you've been following along you have no excuse not to know the answers to these questions.

Or most of these questions. Because we'll just be honest and admit there's at least one tucked away here that's entirely subjective. Nicole is polite and calls it a bonus question, but don't let that fool you. The rest of us in the office consider it the single most important question on the test, and are willing to issue pass/fail credit on it alone. So see how you do, and please don't fail. At least not the one that really matters.

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We've heard women complain that Hong Kong men can't be romantic, and then we've heard the same men complain about the same women that they just don't appreciate the finer things in life. So we don't really know where we stand, except that when it comes time for planning a romantic night out, you're probably best off avoiding our advice and steering by your own compass.

Want to learn Cantonese? In today's elementary Cantonese lesson, we cover a lot of damn useful vocabulary for finding your way through the rocky shoals of dating, and if you're learning Cantonese this lesson is pretty much a must hear. But if you need more motivation, we've got it too in the form of an easy way to turn perfectly innocuous statements into emotional accusations that you've been deceived. We look forward to hearing how you put it into practice!

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We meet the teary-eyed couple over drinks Lan Kwai Fong. Their story is pretty typical for Hong Kong and goes something like this: girl meets boy, they fall in love and maybe even move in together. He gets a raise and she gets a promotion and life is going well... right up until the family finds out. And then within days family relations hit a crisis point and rumours surface that a distant uncle has asked the Triads to get involved....

Learning Cantonese? Our advanced Cantonese podcasts at Popup Cantonese are a no-mercy plunge into full-speed, native-level Cantonese. We're also willing to call things as we see them and pass judgment on everything from Hong Kong Disney to your office gossip. So take a listen, and if you've got a story you'd like to share write us at [email protected].

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Learning Cantonese? Let your other textbooks teach you office pleasantries. At Popup Cantonese we're all about the watercooler gossip: who is sleeping with whom, who was spotted drunk at Lan Kwai Fong last night, and the perfect angle of descent for really sticking it to the worst of your office chums. Or maybe you landed that job at HSBC and your office environment is amazingly good. In which case you can skip this lesson no harm done.

On a separate note, since it's been a while since our last lesson we wanted to share meta-news about the reason why. For those of you who haven't noticed, we've just upgraded the whole backend behind our platform for learning mandarin and are preparing to upgrade this site in a few weeks. This all takes a bit of work, so if you have any suggestions on things you would love or hate to see here as we move forward, please get them in to us at [email protected]. We'd love to hear from you.

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"I'm not sure if I should get the Aston Martin or the Jaguar XKR," Nicole stared at the glossy automotive magazine, her lunch lying untouched on the table. The growing stream of celebrity endorsements on everything from instant noodles to motor oil was taking its toll on everyone's favorite Cantonese podcaster. "I just wish it were easier to compare high-end performance cars," she sighed....

Learning Cantonese? In our first elementary Cantonese podcast, we take the chance to talk about comparisons. So if you already have a bit of Cantonese under your belt listen in and in less than ten minutes we'll cover the basics of how to make comparisons in the Cantonese language. And if you have any questions or comments? Feel free to leave a note in our discussion section below, or contact us by email. We'd love to hear from you.

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