When porn blows up a marriage, the spouse’s world doesn’t just wobble—it shatters. In this conversation, Michael sits down with Lindsey Blair, a betrayal-trauma coach, to spell out what spouses actually experience after discovery or disclosure, what “safety” looks like in real life, and how couples can rebuild trust without gaslighting, rushing, or bypassing pain. If you’re a wife feeling “crazy” or a husband who doesn’t get why this hurts so much, this one’s for you.

About our guest — Lindsey Blair

Betrayal-trauma coach who works with wives navigating the aftermath of a partner’s sexual acting out and pornography use. Empathetic, practical, and anchored in Christian soul care.

We talk about

• What betrayal trauma is (and isn’t): the violation of trust inside an attachment relationship
• Discovery vs. disclosure and why both are disorienting
• Why wives often feel shock, fear, anger, grief, and like they’re “going crazy”—and why that response makes sense
• How processing pain over and over is normal (not nagging)
• What “safety” actually means in early recovery and how to rebuild it
• Why husbands must drop defensiveness and show up with humility + curiosity
• The difference between supporting healing vs. trying to fix your spouse
• “Betrayal blindness” (Michelle Mays) and giving yourself permission to name harm
• A Christian frame: James 1 and building endurance/resilience without minimizing pain

Resources mentioned

• The Relational Soul (Plass & Cofield)
• Concept of “betrayal blindness” (Michelle Mays)
• CrossPoint Ministry Soul Care Network

Connect with Lindsey

Email: [email protected]

Scheduler: Book time with Lindsey

Work with Michael / Restoration Soul Care

• Download the Reclaim Quick-Start Guide to quit porn and rebuild trust: rscky.com
• Coaching, groups, and resources: rscky.com
• DM Michael or Nick on Instagram @mikekamber @nickwbuda

If this episode helped, share it with someone who needs it and leave a review. Don’t do it alone. Get help, get honest, and take the next step today.