Katie and Mica are sluts. Organized by that alignment chart everybody’s seen in memes, hear a guaranteed nine (9!) hookup stories and maybe even more—they didn’t feel like counting. Who let a partner shave their pubes? Who’s walked in on the other mid-intercourse? Public sex? Gas-lighting klepto? Mac & cheese dick? Billy Joe Armstrong? Don’t let the quality of this episode’s audio fool you, Katie and Mica are truly in their element while discussing their best and worst hookups.

(Kadunc and Beauvais family members are banned from listening to this one: trust that it’s for your own good.)

Katie and Mica get Ouija with it. On the heels of their first combined attempt to contact spirits, can you guess who’s the skeptic and who’s the believer? What experiences have shaped (or not) their outlooks on the paranormal? Is Katie being followed by the ghost of an 80’s lesbian? Will Mica disclose spooky Native tales that are technically not supposed to be repeated? What’s that thing behind you?

Katie and Mica are popping their podcast cherries and diving deep into the sexist, heteronormative social construct that is virginity, because nothing says "I'm a very private person and it takes me a while to open up to people" like revealing the intimate details of your first sexual experiences on the Internet. How old were Katie and Mica when they first had sex? What actually qualifies as sex? How many times can one lose their virginity? Is virginity used to control women? (JK we all know the answer to that last one.)

No, this isn’t Mica’s way of announcing that she’s been a cult leader this whole time...is it? Katie and Mica discuss their favorite cult practices and only get a handful of facts wrong. Who would run a more successful cult? What happened to that one guy from that one movie who probably has a cult now? Did Mica really avoid making a “clit” Freudian slip for the whole episode?

Following Katie’s refusal to attend her 10-year reunion via Zoom, Katie and Mica relive what were absolutely NOT their glory days because only losers peaked in high school. Who were they crushing on? Why did Mica have a life-size poster of herself hanging in the school? How was Katie bullied and what reaction could she have had if she was an entirely different person? Big yikes ahead.

What originally started as a discussion about The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, this episode morphed into Katie and Mica comparing the objectively worst series in the franchise to the best, New York. Why do the most iconic New York housewives lack any form of self-awareness while the Beverly Hills housewives are hyper-aware of their own image? Who can save the future of Beverly Hills? Which housewives would win in a fight to the death?

Katie and Mica list their physical insecurities to show how ridiculous you sound when you say you hate your body; it's perfect and everyone else is too busy obsessing over their own image to even notice you! Why are certain bodies perceived as better than others? How does representation affect us? What social entities benefit from our low self-esteem?