Here it is.  What you’ve all been waiting for.  The greatest film ever made.  We’re here to take you by the hand and walk you through it all.  We’ll laugh, we’ll cry, we’ll get unusually turned on by our sponsors (if only Kafka could hear us now).  You know, they say possession is 9/10 of the law, and we are here to tell you: a whole octopus is probably a lot cheaper than a subscription to the Spice channel.  I can’t summarize this movie, but if you want to see Dr. Alan Grant kill someone by gagging himself with a feather, take a seat by the fire.