In the seventeenth podcast journal of Brain Vomit, I explain cognitive dissonance, and how the wide chasm between my actions and my ideas of who I wanted to be caused severe depression and anxiety in my life. To deal with that depression, I turned to video games, getting lost in the worlds they created for me. It was easy to avoid the problems and emotions I had when in the land of video games. By ignoring my feelings and cognitive dissonance, I never took control of my life and instead developed a pattern of becoming depressed and using video games to cope. I end the podcast by discussing the importance of breaking these loops and crutches so we can grow and align our actions with our ideas of self. Thanks for listening to my brain vomit, and I hope it has helped you reflect and analyze the chaotic mind you live with. Please email any questions or thoughts to [email protected]