Power For Positive Living

Give What You Are Able and Willing   Almost all relationships are built on the processes of giving and receiving, making assumptions and having expectations of each other.   Our relationships tend to be more harmonious when these processes are fully understood and acted upon honestly by the individuals involved.    When a person understands what degree they are able to give to another as well as the degree to which they are willing to give, the relationship is likely to be more positive and without the various mind-games of guilt.   Relationship-building is also strengthened when each person can understand and differentiate between their ability to give and their personal willingness to give.  We tend to be healthier when we create effective ways to give and receive with the various people in our life.   Facebook Page

What Is The Problem?   One of the entertaining and challenging aspects of human behavior can be when we learn how various people can all look at the same object or situation and yet see it completely differently.   Wondering why others cannot see our 'reality' can create so much frustration in our relationships.

Our Assumptions and Expectations   Since we usually like to associate with people who have similar thoughts, feelings, attitudes, and behaviors, it can be very easy to make inaccurate assumptions and place difficult expectations for these individuals.   Our challenge can be to avoid viewpoints such as these people should be more like me in almost everything of importance.   Since our values and beliefs generally work well for us, we can often see differences as the problem of others rather than considering the possibility that the conflict is generated within ourselves.

Teaching Pigs to Sing   One of the valuable guidelines that we can find in our relationships with other people is recognizing that people tend to think, feel and behave in ways that work best for them (not us) or at least are the most familiar.   While the idea of teaching a pig to sing may bring a smile to our face, the frustrations we encounter in trying to change others to be more like us usually are about as effective as if you and I were to actually teach a pig to sing.     However, as long as there are people interacting with others, we shall probably continue to find individuals who strive to "teach a pig to sing".  

Culture War Stresses   Everyone has an opinion!  With wide diversity in our society, we often face the many stresses that occur when individuals choose to strongly impose their viewpoints on others.   While no topic is "safe" from the different perspectives of those around us, some areas of our life seem to attract conflict more easily than others.  Some views tend to attract the belief that other people would be so much wiser and happier if they were to change to fit another perspective, usually the one we have chosen for ourselves. 

Can I Choose Happiness While Aging?

Believing strongly in the power of choice, Dr. Hughey comments on his current views of the numerous options we each have as the decades pass.   Yes, we do change as we age with each birthday.   However, regardless of our age, we continue with opportunities to choose our own personal attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors toward others and ourselves.

My Pandemic Birthday Letter   2020 has introduced many life changes for most people.  Taking time to ponder and reflect on the many stresses and challenges we each face during this period allows us to make healthy physical and mental choices for ourselves.     One stress can be "Plexiglas Loneliness" where we are touch deprived of active intervention with other humans.  Another can be trying to play psychological mind games like "If only.." in an effort to change our past.  The third stress might be trying to change other people as they make decisions different from the ones we choose for ourselves.    Living is risky.  Each of us tends to develop our personal risk meter to determine the risks we are willing to take during a pandemic to maintain our physical and emotional health.   Our choices allow us to live life while being aware that all of our choices do have consequences.  The introspection of Wellness Psychology increases our chances of choosing healthy options.  

Building Relationships By Listening

Your host was invited to visit the Teacher’s Lounge podcast. This brief interview discusses the importance of building relationships with students and parents through the process of listening and communicating with understanding.

 For more episodes of The Teachers Lounge Podcast, type in The Teachers Lounge in your podcast player or subscribe by visiting http://theteachersloungeshow.libsyn.com/podcasts.

Season 5 of this Power for Positive Living podcast series ends with an exploration of gift-giving. Whatever personal values and beliefs we each have on the process of giving to others or ourselves are conveyed when we create a gift. Whether our gift is concrete or is a thought, feeling or behavior, we tell ourselves and others who we are as unique individuals by the gifts we choose to give. Gifting ourselves can often be the most personal, important and valuable gift we are able to create and give.

Many of the emotional burdens that individuals carry in their lives revolve around the characteristics of toxic thinking.  We tend to accept certain beliefs, values, attitudes, feelings, and behaviors as being "normal" for all of us.  If we accept this one-size-fits-all view, we often choose toxic outcomes like guilt and shame.   Toxicity is often managed by challenging the thinking which declines to change as the situations in our life change.