Power For Positive Living

  Our friendships are often the most important aspect of our personal mental health system.  Friends are the family that we choose for ourselves as we compose our Life Story and journey through life using the concepts of wellness psychology. 

Our friends tend to be a reflection of how we see ourselves.   We tend to be selected as a friend to compliment others self-perceptions.   Constructing, understanding and learning from our friendship mirror allows us to be healthier human beings and can be one of the most important aspects of our personal growth.   Our friends tend to mirror who we are and we can offer back the unique gift of reflecting how our friends see themselves.

One way we each can create loving friendships is by giving the gifts of listening hospitality.  When we love a person to the degree that they can truly be themselves without the burdens of perfectionism, we encourage the mutual gift of friendship.  This attitude of listening with others also allows us the opportunity to build a strong, positive and loving friendship with ourselves. 

  One foundation of Wellness Psychology is believing that listening is loving.   Some key aspects of developing a behavior and attitude pattern of listening to self and others include the following: 

• Listening is a gift that allows another to take what is inside them and bring it out in the open to be seen and understood more fully in a loving, non-judgemental atmosphere.
• Understanding that each of us has a different view of ourselves and our world, we can be loving by listening carefully to ourselves and each other.

One foundation of Wellness Psychology is believing that listening is loving. Some key aspects of developing a behavior and attitude pattern of listening to self and others include the following: 

• One skill is the ability to ask myself whether I can tell someone what they have just said.  Was I truly listening to the degree that I really heard the words, saw the non-verbal language, felt the voice inflections and deeper feelings, able to put aside my own thoughts and feelings while seeking understanding, etc.?
• Dr. Hughey's personal guideline for interacting with others:  I am here to assist you with whatever you need to do for yourself.
• We like people who care to listen to us.   Active listening takes energy and effort.  It is far more than not talking.
• Even though our society values the powers that come from speaking, giving the rare gift of listening hospitality to another is a rare and valuable way of conveying our love.
• Most people like to talk about themselves first, then about their opinions/beliefs followed by talking about other people and last on their preferences is talking about you.  

Learning to actively listen is often a personal challenge. While most efforts are focused on learning to listen to others, the more challenging behavior is often learning methods to listen and hear one's self.

Your host uses illustrations of the model: attitudes = feelings & thoughts = behavior.

Many blame their behavior of being a life victim on the input from others. We each have the personal power to make individual choices that can determine our behavior.

A second possibility for self-study is to use the D-I-J method: Describe, Interpret, Judge

Just having information about personal growth does not guarantee that a person will actually implement that knowledge to make healthy life decisions. Knowledge does not create change, taking action can.

  Your host responds to questions received on how we each choose our personal path to a positive lifestyle.

  Reference is made to addressing family dynamics in an Ann Landers newspaper column.  Encouragement is offered to avoid working to be a 'victim' in life.   Accept the reality that one cannot change others; each is responsible for choosing a personal path to positivism. Also, Andy Capp's cartoon on marriage counseling illustrates the reality that it does take two to address interpersonal issues.

With three books, Richard Bach encourages our personal emotional growth by offering different points for us to ponder as each of us writes our Life Story. 

The story of Johnathan Livingston Seagull encourages us to develop a standard of personal perfection for living our life and then take what we have learned during our individual journey and invite others to share.  

"Illusions" is a book that encourages us to individually implement the commandment of being happy as we make choices to live the gift of life that is freely given to us.

The third book entitled One reminds us that we do make a significant difference in the lives of other people regardless of where we manage to land during our Life Journey.  

Two personal growth books by Abraham Twerski are discussed. These books have so much to offer individuals interested in personal growth that they are still available in print 30 years after this broadcast.

Each book, When Do The Good Things Start? and Waking Up Just In Time provides various topics for each of us to ponder as we make the decisions on the life path we choose for ourselves. Points to Ponder (PTP) are made clearer, less threatening and more relatable through the power of using humor. These books liberally use the humor of Charles Schultz with his "Peanuts" gang.

Your host responds to a book called How To Make Yourself Miserable by Dan Greenburg. This book is a parody of money/attractiveness to show how so many are successful in making themselves emotionally miserable.

Your host shares some thoughts on the power we each have for choosing the attitudes we place in our personal Life Story that we write each day of our lives. Some topics covered for each listener to consider are:*We each have a personal camera where we make choices on the "photos" we take to reinforce our view of our world.*Aids to bury the faults of our friends and the manner we choose to use our emotional magnifying glass.