Permission to BE HAPPY

I learned this past week of two more young adult suicides. This is an epidemic. We are losing too many beautiful people to unnecessary deaths from treatable diseases. I remember being stuck in darkness that felt so real, heavy and impossible to fix. I didn’t want to die, but I didn’t know how to continue existing that way. There were many factors that helped me to heal from depression and chronic illness, but the number one thing was learning how to recognize and change toxic thoughts.

Thoughts are real. Thoughts are powerful. Thoughts are electricity and ask anyone who has been struck by lightning or a loose wire how strong electricity is.

Thoughts can convince you that life is so bad that you can’t be happy. Thoughts are so strong they can create emotions of fear, worthlessness, and feelings of impending doom, panic attacks, and the desperate need to to escape. 

In my healing process, I discovered six LIES that my brain told me about why I couldn’t or shouldn’t be happy. I learned to counter those LIES with the powerful ANTIDOTE of TRUTH. 

False Belief #1: I Can't Be Happy Because Life is Supposed to Be Hard

On the drive to music lessons this morning, my husband and son saw a beautiful bald eagle perched in a tree off the side of the road. Seeing an eagle in town is a rare and magnificent siting. They stopped the car to watch its grandeur and expected other drivers would do the same. Instead they were chastised by shouts and blaring horn. And this was on a leisurely country road on a Saturday morning. Other drivers pulled around them in frustration, so busy glaring and making angry gestures that they failed to notice the beautiful eagle. 

Why do we believe that life is so serious? so busy? so burdensome? It is a false belief that life has to be hard. Episode 2: The Power of Want explains that if all we think about are problems, the Universe will give us more problems.

The antidote to this false belief is explained in Episode 4: Permission to Make Life Easier. Give yourself permission to enjoy life, to be happy now, stop and see the eagles! 

False Belief #2: I Can't Be Happy While Others Suffer

My son is living in South Africa. He emailed pictures of a house he was helping to build build. This woman had acquired some land and some supplies and was building her own home. They dug a trench and stood some rough pieces of lumber in the trench to create a one-room, wooden shack. When I see pictures like this,

Permission to MAKE DECISIONS

Have you given yourself PERMISSION to MAKE DECISIONS?Humans make an average of 35,000 remotely conscious decisions a day. If that statistic makes your feel more panicked than empowered, then you are in the right place. Making decisions can be confusing, overwhelming, and even paralyzing. And there are good reasons. This episode discusses six barriers that block us from making decisions and four ways to power through those barriers in order to learn to make decisions like a boss.  

Six Barriers to Decision Making

How do you feel about making decisions?  Determined or indecisive? Confident or hesitant? Resolute or wishy-washy?No matter your past experience with making decisions, you have the ability, starting today, you have the ability to learn how and to practice becoming an effective decision-maker.The first step is to increase your personal awareness about your decision-making process. Awareness is the first step to change. And don’t criticize yourself. You don’t get positive results in life by thinking negatively. Here are six barriers that trip you up in the decision-making process: 

* LABELING:Too often, we make a decision, then wait for the result to decide whether it was a good or bad decision.  If the results turn out well, then we say it was the right decision, but if the results go sour, we say we made the wrong decision. It is harmful and paralyzing to measure our decision based on outcome. It is called OUTcome, because it is OUTside of our control. The truth is that we have to make the best decision we can based on the information we have at the time. We aren’t fortune tellers, so it isn’t fair to judge our present decision based on unpredictable future results.* I DON’T KNOW: Saying “I don’t know” drains our power. We have access to incredible information. It’s better to say, “I am in the process of figuring it out,” or “I am exploring my options,” or even, “I am open to possibilities.”* FEAR: Fear of the future outcome can block us from making a decision in the present. Maybe we’re afraid of failing, or maybe we’re afraid of being wildly successful. More than anything, our brains are afraid of the unknown. Our subconscious loves its comfort zone; it likes to stay right here where everything is familiar, so our subconscious often sabotages us from making a decision that would take us outside our comfort zone. OBSTACLES: Our brain wants to avoid obstacles and challenges. In fact, sometimes if we run into a challenge, then our brain tries to tell us that we made the wrong choice. This is not true. Obstacles don’t mean that path is wrong. It means you’re going to have to summon your courage, get a running leap and get through the hurdles.   UNCHOOSING: Okay. Technically unchoosing is not a word,

Permission to MAKE DECISIONS

Have you given yourself PERMISSION to MAKE DECISIONS?Humans make an average of 35,000 remotely conscious decisions a day. If that statistic makes your feel more panicked than empowered, then you are in the right place. Making decisions can be confusing, overwhelming, and even paralyzing. And there are good reasons. This episode discusses six barriers that block us from making decisions and four ways to power through those barriers in order to learn to make decisions like a boss.  

Six Barriers to Decision Making

How do you feel about making decisions?  Determined or indecisive? Confident or hesitant? Resolute or wishy-washy?No matter your past experience with making decisions, you have the ability, starting today, you have the ability to learn how and to practice becoming an effective decision-maker.The first step is to increase your personal awareness about your decision-making process. Awareness is the first step to change. And don’t criticize yourself. You don’t get positive results in life by thinking negatively. Here are six barriers that trip you up in the decision-making process: 

* LABELING:Too often, we make a decision, then wait for the result to decide whether it was a good or bad decision.  If the results turn out well, then we say it was the right decision, but if the results go sour, we say we made the wrong decision. It is harmful and paralyzing to measure our decision based on outcome. It is called OUTcome, because it is OUTside of our control. The truth is that we have to make the best decision we can based on the information we have at the time. We aren’t fortune tellers, so it isn’t fair to judge our present decision based on unpredictable future results.* I DON’T KNOW: Saying “I don’t know” drains our power. We have access to incredible information. It’s better to say, “I am in the process of figuring it out,” or “I am exploring my options,” or even, “I am open to possibilities.”* FEAR: Fear of the future outcome can block us from making a decision in the present. Maybe we’re afraid of failing, or maybe we’re afraid of being wildly successful. More than anything, our brains are afraid of the unknown. Our subconscious loves its comfort zone; it likes to stay right here where everything is familiar, so our subconscious often sabotages us from making a decision that would take us outside our comfort zone. OBSTACLES: Our brain wants to avoid obstacles and challenges. In fact, sometimes if we run into a challenge, then our brain tries to tell us that we made the wrong choice. This is not true. Obstacles don’t mean that path is wrong. It means you’re going to have to summon your courage, get a running leap and get through the hurdles.   UNCHOOSING: Okay. Technically unchoosing is not a word, but it is a real barrier to decision making. This is the challenge that choosing one menu item at a restaurant means “unchoosing” all the other delicious...

Permission to Make Life Easier

Today’s episode discusses 4 Principles to Make Life Easier.Last episode was about The Power of Permission and the different sources we look to gain permission.Today’s episodes addresses 4 specific permissions that can make life easier. We hear that life is supposed to be hard. I used to believe that if my life wasn’t hard, then I must not be working hard enough, but that is a false belief. Life does not have to be hard. We make life hard through our thoughts and feelings.

1. Give Yourself Permission to De-Complicate

Are you making your life harder than it needs to be?Do you actually make your life more complicated?In her book, “If Life Were Easy It Wouldn’t Be Hard” author Sheri Dew tells her story of a midnight hotel evacuation. She carried two large suitcases down flights before realizing that none of the other guests were bringing their luggage. Hauling all that extra weight resulted in double knee surgery. Sometimes we make our lives harder than they need to be by the extra baggage we carry. 

2. Give Yourself Permission to Do Less

You are the CEO of your life and it’s your responsibility to fire, lay-off, cut-back any employees, divisions, or tasks that do not serve your company mission.You have a book of Pink Slips. Use them!

3. Let Go the 4.0

This isn’t high school and trying to achieve a 4.0 in EVERY aspect of life is unrealistic and will lead to exhaustion and illness. Give yourself permission to do some tasks at 70% so you have more time, resources, and energy to devote to the things that matter most.

4. Solve Problems Without Making a Fuss.

Have you noticed that some people seem to never have problems while other people seem to con...

Permission to Make Life Easier

Today’s episode discusses 4 Principles to Make Life Easier.Last episode was about The Power of Permission and the different sources we look to gain permission.Today’s episodes addresses 4 specific permissions that can make life easier. We hear that life is supposed to be hard. I used to believe that if my life wasn’t hard, then I must not be working hard enough, but that is a false belief. Life does not have to be hard. We make life hard through our thoughts and feelings.

1. Give Yourself Permission to De-Complicate

Are you making your life harder than it needs to be?Do you actually make your life more complicated?In her book, “If Life Were Easy It Wouldn’t Be Hard” author Sheri Dew tells her story of a midnight hotel evacuation. She carried two large suitcases down flights before realizing that none of the other guests were bringing their luggage. Hauling all that extra weight resulted in double knee surgery. Sometimes we make our lives harder than they need to be by the extra baggage we carry. 

2. Give Yourself Permission to Do Less

You are the CEO of your life and it’s your responsibility to fire, lay-off, cut-back any employees, divisions, or tasks that do not serve your company mission.You have a book of Pink Slips. Use them!

3. Let Go the 4.0

This isn’t high school and trying to achieve a 4.0 in EVERY aspect of life is unrealistic and will lead to exhaustion and illness. Give yourself permission to do some tasks at 70% so you have more time, resources, and energy to devote to the things that matter most.

4. Solve Problems Without Making a Fuss.

Have you noticed that some people seem to never have problems while other people seem to constantly have problems? Then you realize the first group just doesn’t make a big deal. Rather, they solve problems without fuss. Some chill friends taught me how to give myself permission to solve problems the best way I could witho...

The Power of Giving Yourself Permission

Have you given yourself permission to do what you love? Often we think we need outside permission before we can pursue a goal or passion. Sometimes we think that other people know better what we can do. That’s not true! No one knows your passions and desires better than you, and no one needs to give you permission to go for your dreams.

Other Places We Get Permission

Going for our dreams without external endorsement can be scary, so sometimes we wait for life to let us know it’s okay to move ahead. We get default permission from three sources: * Seeing or Hearing Someone Else Do It: I always felt guilty for taking a nap during the day until I read that Stephen Covey, the author of 7 Habits of Highly Successful People, loved to take power naps any time, any place, including on the floor of trains. I also felt embarrassed for my mismatched collection of partially-filled notebook diaries until I saw J.K. Rowling’s haphazard collection of papers and notebooks. Sometimes knowing that we’re not crazy and not alone gives us permission to be true to ourself. * Accident, Illness, or Near-Death Experience:  This is the “Live Like You’re Dying” paradigm. It’s not the ideal way to get permission, but it can be very effective. I’m betting that you know someone who really started to live and pursue long-buried dream as a result of an accident, illness, or near-death experience. Before Postpartum Depression and Chronic Illness, I lived in full-out martyr mode. I could not give myself permission to slow down, take a nap, or take care of myself. Getting sick definitely gave me permission to safe-guard my own health, but wouldn’t it have been better if I’d just given myself permission to be healthy in the first place? I think so.* Being Asked to Do It: You might also know aspiring actors, singers, authors, etc, who want someone else to discover their talent and take care of all the career building. Having someone else tell us that we are good enough and ask us to share our talent feels much safer than going it alone. But the truth is that most successful people are self-made. Their permission came from inside. 

I Give Myself Permission To . . .

Part of my journey of healing through depression and chronic illness has been learning to give myself permission to:* Take my time* Take a Nap* Make mistakes* Leave thing undone* Try* Figure things out* Play* Be an amateur* ASK FOR HELP* and much more

The Power of Giving Yourself Permission

Have you given yourself permission to do what you love? Often we think we need outside permission before we can pursue a goal or passion. Sometimes we think that other people know better what we can do. That’s not true! No one knows your passions and desires better than you, and no one needs to give you permission to go for your dreams.

Other Places We Get Permission

Going for our dreams without external endorsement can be scary, so sometimes we wait for life to let us know it’s okay to move ahead. We get default permission from three sources: * Seeing or Hearing Someone Else Do It: I always felt guilty for taking a nap during the day until I read that Stephen Covey, the author of 7 Habits of Highly Successful People, loved to take power naps any time, any place, including on the floor of trains. I also felt embarrassed for my mismatched collection of partially-filled notebook diaries until I saw J.K. Rowling’s haphazard collection of papers and notebooks. Sometimes knowing that we’re not crazy and not alone gives us permission to be true to ourself. * Accident, Illness, or Near-Death Experience:  This is the “Live Like You’re Dying” paradigm. It’s not the ideal way to get permission, but it can be very effective. I’m betting that you know someone who really started to live and pursue long-buried dream as a result of an accident, illness, or near-death experience. Before Postpartum Depression and Chronic Illness, I lived in full-out martyr mode. I could not give myself permission to slow down, take a nap, or take care of myself. Getting sick definitely gave me permission to safe-guard my own health, but wouldn’t it have been better if I’d just given myself permission to be healthy in the first place? I think so.* Being Asked to Do It: You might also know aspiring actors, singers, authors, etc, who want someone else to discover their talent and take care of all the career building. Having someone else tell us that we are good enough and ask us to share our talent feels much safer than going it alone. But the truth is that most successful people are self-made. Their permission came from inside. 

I Give Myself Permission To . . .

Part of my journey of healing through depression and chronic illness has been learning to give myself permission to:* Take my time* Take a Nap* Make mistakes* Leave thing undone* Try* Figure things out* Play* Be an amateur* ASK FOR HELP* and much more

Next Week: The Power of Permission Part 2

Do you KNOW what you WANT? Your DESIRES give you POWER.

When did you last ask yourself, “What do I want?” and really listened for your deep-down answer.Are you ready for something more in your life, but don’t know where to start?Does your life seem to be full of problems? Are you surrounded by drama? Do you want to resolve these problems and break free of the drama but don’t know how? Then, my friend, this episode is perfect you!

The Universe Gives us More of What We Think About, so DON'T Think about Problems!

Last episode we talked about The Power of I Decide. As humans we are great at knowing what we don’t want, but we’re not so good at knowing what we do want. And guess what? The Universe gives us what we think about most. So if we are constantly thinking about problems, the Universe gives us more problems. Therefore, the solution is to think more about things we want. And before we can think about what we want, we have to know what we want.

Five Barriers Block us from Knowing and Getting What we WANT:

* KNOWLEDGE: Often, the biggest problem is that we don’t know what we want. We don’t take the time to ask, “What do I really want?“* PERMISSION: We think someone else knows better than we do, so we wait for outside permission. This is living outside of ourselves.* FEELING UNWORTHY: I call this “False Martyr Syndrome” or the belief that we have to sacrifice the things we want most in order to be worthy.* FEAR: Dreaming can be scary. And getting what we want can be as terrifying as the possibility of not getting what we want.* HOW: We don’t go for what we want because we don’t know HOW. Knowing the how is not your job. You job is to figure out the WHAT. Once you know the WHAT, the Universe will manifest the HOW. 

Your natural wants and desires are what make you Unique. Deepak Chopra explains that desires must be clear in order to be fulfilled. Start today to get clear on what you really want. Explore your deep-down desires. They are your gifts to share with the world. The more you can discover and achieve your heartfelt desires, the better you are able to serve others and find authentic joy.

Do you KNOW what you WANT? Your DESIRES give you POWER.

When did you last ask yourself, “What do I want?” and really listened for your deep-down answer.Are you ready for something more in your life, but don’t know where to start?Does your life seem to be full of problems? Are you surrounded by drama? Do you want to resolve these problems and break free of the drama but don’t know how? Then, my friend, this episode is perfect you!

The Universe Gives us More of What We Think About, so DON'T Think about Problems!

Last episode we talked about The Power of I Decide. As humans we are great at knowing what we don’t want, but we’re not so good at knowing what we do want. And guess what? The Universe gives us what we think about most. So if we are constantly thinking about problems, the Universe gives us more problems. Therefore, the solution is to think more about things we want. And before we can think about what we want, we have to know what we want.

Five Barriers Block us from Knowing and Getting What we WANT:

* KNOWLEDGE: Often, the biggest problem is that we don’t know what we want. We don’t take the time to ask, “What do I really want?“* PERMISSION: We think someone else knows better than we do, so we wait for outside permission. This is living outside of ourselves.* FEELING UNWORTHY: I call this “False Martyr Syndrome” or the belief that we have to sacrifice the things we want most in order to be worthy.* FEAR: Dreaming can be scary. And getting what we want can be as terrifying as the possibility of not getting what we want.* HOW: We don’t go for what we want because we don’t know HOW. Knowing the how is not your job. You job is to figure out the WHAT. Once you know the WHAT, the Universe will manifest the HOW. 

Your natural wants and desires are what make you Unique. Deepak Chopra explains that desires must be clear in order to be fulfilled. Start today to get clear on what you really want. Explore your deep-down desires. They are your gifts to share with the world. The more you can discover and achieve your heartfelt desires, the better you are able to serve others and find authentic joy.

You Have the Power to Choose Your Life

What if you had a Superpower? What if you could leap over tall buildings? What if you could fly over any obstacle or break through any barrier?The truth is, we all have a Superpower. We have the Power of I Decide. We have the power to DECIDE our own lives.

God is Your Most Valuable Player

“The all-powerful Universe is on your team. God is your Most Valuable Player, but often we leave God sitting on the bench. Why? Because we have the false believe that life happens to us. God is in your court, but God can’t play for you until you have a game plan.” Your Superpower is that YOU get to DECIDE. You get to DESIGN your life. And you have one hundred percent, full-time, around the clock access to the All-Powerful Universe. God can leap over any building and He can get you over it, too.

Your Brain Will Resist

When your brain resists this belief, when you think: I’m not supposed to be rich, I’m supposed to have trials, I’m supposed to have struggles, life is meant to be hard, remember that GOD gifted you the agency to choose.We are creators and our human experience is ours to create.You can create any life that you want for yourself.You have the power and the right to DECIDE exactly what you want your life to be.This podcast will help you gain the Knowledge and Power to create your BEST life.