How do you deal with your children becoming adults, doing grown-up things?

Elaine’s managing sleepovers with her son and his girlfriend: “having a girlfriend has changed him in so many positive ways” she says. Rachel’s laughing: “in which life would my mother have let me?" “Never!” Elaine answers.

Their children expect them to be different from the generation that raised them, but they ask: “does that mean that we need to accept everything? Not everything about the way we've been brought up is necessarily wrong.”

What do you think? Let us know in the comments below.

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Would you lie just to save face, or can you find the courage

to step into who you really are?

The Power Sisters find that embarrassment can

lead to much needed revelations. For Elaine it made her realise that she did “need

a little bit of help”. “It happens to the best of us” says Rachel.

“As women, we think we have to be perfect all the time” But Caroline points out that “we’re

human beings; we don’t cut ourselves enough slack”.

The sisters also talk about fear of failure. Caroline thinks “we’ve been shrinking, we’ve been hiding”. Rachel is working on pushing herself “beyond the fear and imposter syndrome”. Unqualified people are “qualifying themselves” and that “we need to learn to own our accolades”.  Elaine says.

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“Does manifesting work? The sisters think so. Rachel sees it as “stretching towards that life that you want”. Elaine prefers to use the word vision, “you must have an action plan”. But they also consider “what you are manifesting is really who you are…living the life that you are created to live”.

The sisters talk about their role models and settling into being role models and mentors to younger women. Elaine notes “this new generation is seeking older women like us who are experienced, 'cause there's a lot of unqualified people trying to give qualified advice.”

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Are we all aunties now? The sisters contend with what it means to age as women. Elaine thinks it’s wrong to be classed “as washed up because you are a certain age.” Why they can’t they “face the fact that yes we are aunties?” They also learn a new word to describe women of a certain age – “Thundercat”. “Can we just roll it back?” asks Rachel.

The sisters also talk about how their children’s love lives and career choices differ from theirs, and making peace with that. Rachel realised “This is not about me, this is about them.” Their generation differs from their parents’ approach – “they just wanted security for us, didn't they? that security that we've now been given, that we've worked for now allows us to give our kids [freedom].

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Why do we have to wear our wealth? The sisters figure out where the community pressure to always look good comes from - where people save up just to spend on luxury items. “Does that bag now quantify you?” Elaine asks.

After 20 years of working hard, they discuss how they treat themselves to items such as a long longed-for Chanel handbag, with their kids asking, mum why do you look so happy – it’s only a bag. “Do you know what this is?” she quips back.

The sisters talk about working hard to give their children what they need while maintaining work life balance. And having the will to walk away from opportunities that don’t serve us – like a job at Downing Street. Rachel set her boundaries, and her employer met them.

And they reflect on how they manage their careers with being mums. Can they have it all? “When they go to school… that is not just their experience, it's ours.”

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How do we do battle with our minds during tough times? Since walking away from a car accident two years ago, on some days Elaine has “big conversations” in her mind to help get her out of bed. 

The sisters talk about the multifaceted ways grief appears – not just losing loved ones, but losing old selves, friendships and relationships. Caroline wonders if they give themselves enough time to grieve with Rachel saying “no, we just keep going”. 

All three Power sisters are the eldest children in their families. Rachel learned from a young age that “I needed to make sure I had it together”. They talk about giving their all to family until it comes to a head. Elaine asks, “who’s pouring into me?” with Caroline’s follows up - “what’s left for you?” exposing the emotional toll on them. 

At what point do they get to be themselves?

SHOW NOTES

Elaine recommends 'The Body Keeps The Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma' by Bessel Van Der Kolk.

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Are we happy ageing like fine wine? Caroline says the sisters have a decade left of still looking half decent. Rachel has learnt to celebrate each birthday in style, but Elaine only goes to parties where there are chairs and good food, and she can’t abide weddings with staged choreography.

“We have to admit that our time has passed,” says Caroline, but “age brings respect” for Elaine – just don’t talk to her about Botox, she can’t stand needles.

Rachel marvels at young people with their big lashes and lips, but admits “that’s just not the aesthetic we grew up with.”

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Are sex, money and communication the key to a happy life? Caroline says love trumps everything, Elaine wants her vex money protected, and Rachel takes regular self-care. But how do they measure success for their children?

Rachel’s daughter wants to be an actress, Caroline’s son dreams of being a professional footballer and Elaine’s boys are focussed on academic achievement, but what’s good for them, and what do we want as parents?

“I just want to make sure life treats them fairly” says Caroline.

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Producer Liza Ward recalls that first meeting on a tube train, and introduces us to Rachel, Elaine and Caroline.

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Introducing... Power Sisters. Three lifelong friends who’ve juggled the demands of having high-powered careers along with the challenges of raising their families.

This trio of black women - Rachel, Elaine and Caroline met at school in Streatham in the early 90s. They share stories of friendship, love, marriage, divorce, careers, motherhood. And talk candidly about the prejudice they’ve encountered, their struggles to get to the top of their chosen professions and the pressure they’ve felt as representatives of their respective communities.

Rachel is a communications executive who has worked at No 10 for both Theresa May and Boris Johnson. Elaine has established a successful senior role in education and has been on a healing journey since a car accident in 2022. Caroline is a lawyer.

Friends for three decades, they've been through it all - and the one constant? Each other. 

COMING: TUESDAY 25TH FEBRUARY

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