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Power to the Pleasers
Power to the Pleasers episodes
- Risk Taking and Change Making - What it takes to listen to your gut and leap into the unknown
Ever get that feeling that the universe is nudging you to make a change? In this episode, we dive into those pivotal moments when everything points to "yes," and it's time to take the leap.
Inspired by the journey from pleasing and perfectionism to purposeful action, I'm sharing a big shift I'm making—one that involves focusing more on helping business owners navigate their inner world to build confidence and overcome self-doubt.Whether you’re a business owner or not, these insights apply across life’s landscape. It's all about tuning in, walking your talk, and creating the life you want.Key Takeaways:
The "Click" Moment – That feeling when you hear something, and it finally lands. Sometimes, it's the universe telling you it's time for change, and today, we're talking about what it looks like to truly embrace that.
Personal Growth in Business – Going into 2025, I'm shifting focus toward business owners and entrepreneurs who struggle with perfectionism, people-pleasing, and imposter syndrome. While this focus might be business-oriented, the themes—self-awareness, building inner confidence, and working with your nervous system—are universally relatable.
Lessons from the Journey – Through past episodes, we’ve explored everything from confidence and boundaries to tuning into your body and letting go of validation. I’m walking my talk, and this year has been about stepping into change, learning what’s working, and letting go of what isn’t.
Working with the "8 C's" of Internal Family Systems (IFS) – Revisiting my series on calm, clarity, and confidence, I'll show how these foundational tools help my clients—especially business owners—navigate self-doubt, make clear decisions, and lead from a place of inner calm.
The Power of Inner Work in Outer Success – In life and business, unchecked emotions impact decision-making and self-confidence. When you become aware of what’s happening inside, you’re empowered to guide yourself through fear and self-doubt, making you feel unstoppable.
What’s Next: I’ll be taking November and December off for a creative reset, returning in January with fresh insights focused on helping entrepreneurs align their inner work with outer success. Not a business owner? Keep listening—the principles still apply to anyone wanting to live a more intentional, satisfying life.
Quotes Worth Noting:
- "What’s the point of inner work if you don’t give it legs? It’s time to breathe life into the life you want."
- "When you calm your nervous system, clarity follows, and that clarity is where confidence begins."
Resources Mentioned:
- Already Free by Bruce Tift – On navigating anxiety and how it shows up across all areas of life.
- The 8 C’s of Internal Family Systems – Check out past episodes on the 8 C’s to deepen your understanding of calm, clarity, and confidence.
Connect and Share: If you know someone who might benefit from these insights, please share this episode with them. And if you’re here for the journey, make sure you’re subscribed and ready for January’s episodes, packed with fresh insights and practical guidance.
Stay Connected: Follow the podcast to stay in the loop on all upcoming episodes! And in the meantime, enjoy the holidays—see y’all in January!
24 min - The Fresh Princess of Authenticity: Liz Wilcox on the Freedom to Be Yourself
Episode Summary:
We have a guest today - Liz Wilcox. Survivor contestant, Online Business Entrepreneur and genuinely funny human.
The reason I’m super excited about this conversation is that Liz is one of those rare, real people who isn’t afraid to show up as her true self. And being in the online business building world, that is a breath of fresh air - which is why I call her the Fresh Princess of Authenticity - whoo hooo the 90s rule!She lets the people in her world see her exactly as she is, which is something so many of us – especially those of us who lean toward people-pleasing and perfectionism – long to do.Showing up authentically and building fulfilling connections from that space? That’s the dream, right?
Enjoy this behind-the-scenes convo with Liz as we learn how early on she embraced being who she is and the ripple effect that has had on her life.Key Takeaways:
- Your Body is wise: Liz was sick as a kid, and she shares how holding on to emotions was causing some of her physical symptoms. We talk about how important the body is as a guide to overall health.
- Slowing down is necessary: Liz shares how she is learning to rest and step back as a way of moving forward sustainably.
- Three phases of successful business building: Liz shares what she has learned over the course of building her online business – the phases and stages that have allowed her to focus and stay resourced.
Episode Quote:
"I’ve just gotta be myself.”
Additional Resources:
Want more tools to help calm your nervous system? Grab my free guide with over 20 exercises that’ll help bring your anxiety from a 10 to a 4.
https://subscribepage.io/KNF3Nq
Want some of what Liz has? Here is a guide that will point you in that direction! Unleashing Your Authentic Self
https://subscribepage.io/pMJWsWJoin My Email List:
Sign up and be the first to know about new resources, workshops, and more goodies inspired by the amazing questions from my clients. Let’s build that confidence from the inside out!
https://subscribepage.io/L8inBl
All the ways we can hang out and get to know each other:
Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/vicki-smith-5897b714a/
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075839538976
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
Website - https://powertothepleasers.com
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@powertothepleasers2020/videos
39 min - The Real Reason You're Stuck: Why Confidence Feels So Out of Reach
If you've ever felt like confidence is just out of reach no matter how many self-help books you read or how often you try to "fake it 'til you make it," you're not alone. This episode dives deep into why building real, rooted confidence isn't about just gritting your teeth and forcing yourself through discomfort. Instead, it’s about understanding your body’s natural response to fear and learning how to work with it—not against it.
Key Takeaways:
- The Comfort Zone Cycle: We all love our comfort zones, but they’re also what keeps us from growing. When we avoid discomfort, we miss out on building true confidence.
- Why Pushing Through Isn’t the Answer: Sure, you can strong-arm your way through uncomfortable situations, but that often leads to burnout. Real confidence doesn’t come from "winning" over fear; it comes from learning to coexist with discomfort.
- The Role of the Nervous System: You can’t will yourself to feel confident. Instead, calm your nervous system and build from there. I’ll explain why getting out of fight-or-flight (or fawn) mode is the essential first step to lasting change.
- Using Calm to Find Clarity: Calming down gives you the space to see things clearly. It’s like turning on a flashlight in a dark room—suddenly, you see options you didn’t notice before.
- How Your Past Shapes Your Present Reactions: Our brains are wired to protect us, even from perceived threats. We’ll explore how old experiences have created patterns that affect you now.
Practical Tips:
- Calm First:Before trying to build confidence, focus on calming your nervous system. I’ll share a few techniques for getting out of that reactive state so you can feel more grounded.
- Break the Domino Effect:When you recognize the triggers from your past, you can stop the automatic reactions they create. This is key to feeling in control and confident in new situations.
- Learn to Sit with Discomfort:Discomfort is part of the deal. But with a calm body and mind, you can approach uncomfortable feelings without immediately running from them.
Episode Quote:
"Confidence isn’t about fighting fear; it’s about finding calm in the face of it."
Additional Resources:
Want more tools to help calm your nervous system? Grab my free guide with over 20 exercises that’ll help bring your anxiety from a 10 to a 4. Check the link and get ready to tackle discomfort in a whole new way.
https://www.canva.com/design/DAFUqCxQE8k/Wvh1FYTlfDmVF4xQ3GmS0g/view?utm_content=DAFUqCxQE8k&utm_campaign=designshare&utm_medium=link&utm_source=editor
Join My Email List:
Sign up and be the first to know about new resources, workshops, and more goodies inspired by the amazing questions from my clients.
Website - https://powertothepleasers.comAll the ways we can hang out and get to know each other:
Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/vicki-smith-5897b714a/
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075839538976
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
Website - https://powertothepleasers.com
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@powertothepleasers2020/videos
Want to take the next step?
Schedule a time to talk.
https://calendly.com/vicki-46/20min
18 min - The Dance of Change: From Playing It Safe to Showing Up Fully
Have you ever felt like you’re stuck in a cycle of playing it safe? This episode dives deep into that feeling and how we can move through it. We start with a quote that many of us can relate to:
"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." – Anais Nin
If you’re feeling that itch to break out of your comfort zone, especially in your relationships, this one's for you. Whether it’s people-pleasing, perfectionism, or just staying small—it's time to talk about what it feels like to want to change but be afraid of the uncertainty that comes with it.
Discussed in the episode:
- The tension we feel when we want to change but are afraid to act.
- The natural stages of change—pre-contemplation, contemplation, action, and maintenance.
- How to recognize where you are in the process and how to work your way forward.
- The importance of support and accountability when trying to make lasting changes.
Social stuff:
Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/vicki-smith-5897b714a/
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
Website - https://powertothepleasers.com
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@powertothepleasers2020/videos
Like what you hear and want to take the next step?
Schedule a time to talk.
https://calendly.com/vicki-46/20min
23 min - The Key to Clear Decision-Making: Listen to Your Body
In this episode, we're diving into something that's truly life-changing: connecting to your truth by tuning into your body.
When you're stuck in the back-and-forth of a tough decision—especially when you really want to say "no" but fear, obligation, or guilt are pushing you to say "yes"—knowing what your body is signaling can clear up that confusion in a heartbeat.
Imagine this: What if you could sense in your body whether something is right for you? What if you had the answer inside you all along? What if you could make decisions with almost zero doubt? Sounds amazing, right? Well, it's possible, and it's incredibly empowering.
What makes this worth listening to:
- Understanding Your Body's Signals: We'll talk about how your body can give you clear answers, especially when your mind is caught in the whirlwind of decision-making.
- Starting the Conversation: If you're new to this whole body-awareness thing, don't stress! We'll guide you on how to start noticing your body's signals without overthinking it.
- Simple Practices: Learn a super easy practice—just take a few minutes after an interaction, breathe deeply, and notice the strongest sensation in your body. That's it! We'll also touch on specific areas to check in with, like your jaw, neck, shoulders, and stomach.
- Curiosity Over Criticism: The key here is curiosity. By being curious about what you're feeling, you can bypass the critical voice in your head and really hear what your body is saying.
- Taking Action: But we won't stop at just noticing. We'll also chat about what to do once you've heard your body's message.
All the ways we can hang out and get to know each other:
Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/vicki-smith-5897b714a/
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075839538976
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
Website - https://powertothepleasers.com
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@powertothepleasers2020/videos
Want to take the next step?
Schedule a time to talk.
https://calendly.com/vicki-46/20min
24 min - Values vs Validation - How to shift from people pleasing to authenticity
Today, we're diving deep into the people-pleasing trap and how it pulls us away from living in alignment with our true values. If you've ever found yourself saying "yes" when you really wanted to say "no," this episode is for you.
What makes this worth listening to:
- Understanding where our people-pleasing tendencies come from and how they take over our decision-making process.
- How constantly trying to fit in and make others happy can lead us away from our core values and create a sense of restlessness and dissatisfaction.
- How using your values as a template can help you make decisions that reflect what truly matters to you, not just what others expect.
Ready to stop letting people-pleasing run your life? Start by identifying your core values and using them as your decision-making template.
Mentioned in this episode:
- James Clear’s Values Assessment Guide https://jamesclear.com/core-values
- Podcast with Brene https://open.spotify.com/episode/0nwDfromS0ZNJAtqEqmjQE?si=r9kDTq2GQC-AYOQKc8Wj_w
Let's get to know each other:
Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/vicki-smith-5897b714a/
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
Website - https://powertothepleasers.com
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@powertothepleasers2020/videos
Want to take action on what you've heard?
Schedule a time to talk.
https://calendly.com/vicki-46/20min
18 min - From Self-Doubt to Self-Confidence - The benefits of using the 8 C's of Internal Family Systems
In this episode, we explore how Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy provides a step by step approach to connect with our inner selves using eight guiding principles, known as the 8 Cs:
Calm, Curiosity, Compassion, Clarity, Creativity, Connection, Courage, and Confidence.What makes this episode worth listening to:The Importance of a Strong Foundation:
Achieving true calm and confidence involves more than fleeting moments of these feelings. Without a solid foundation built on all the Cs, you might feel calm or confident, but it's not coming from YOU most likely, but the external circumstances lining up in just the right way.
Courage and Confidence in Practice:
Courage is not just about bold actions taken by talking yourself up, but involves setting boundaries and speaking up from a place of inner strength and clarity.
Confidence is about having a steady inner sense of self, knowing one's values, and trusting oneself.
The 8 Cs are more than just concepts; they are tools for creating a life that is rooted in self-awareness and intentionality. By embracing these qualities, we are able to navigate life's challenges with resilience and authenticity.
All the ways we can hang out and get to know each other:
Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/vicki-smith-5897b714a/
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075839538976
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
Website - https://powertothepleasers.com
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@powertothepleasers2020/videos
Another way we can hang out - - - we can work together! Like in real life!
Schedule a time to talk.
https://calendly.com/vicki-46/20min
22 min - Transforming Anxiety - how the 8 C's of IFS help you move from chaos to clarity
In this episode, we dive into how the next few C words from the 8 Cs of Internal Family Systems (IFS) can help transform anxiety. Building on our last discussion about the importance of calm, we explore how calm, curiosity, and compassion lead to clarity and creativity in dealing with anxiety.
The following are the aspects of Self Energy we explore:
Clarity and Creativity:
- See how maintaining calm, curiosity, and compassion can lead to greater clarity and new perspectives on our emotions.
- Find out how clarity opens the door to creativity, enabling us to brainstorm and explore new options for addressing our challenges.
Connecting with Yourself:
- The importance of self-connection and understanding are vital before reaching out to others.
- Get practical tips on how to connect with yourself through creative problem-solving and self-care.
All the ways we can hang out and get to know each other:
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075839538976
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
Website - https://powertothepleasers.com
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@powertothepleasers2020/videos
Another way we can hang out - - - we can work together! Like in real life!
Schedule a time to talk.
https://calendly.com/vicki-46/20min
15 min - From Reaction to Action: Proactively Managing Anxiety with Insights from Inside Out 2
The Pixar movie Inside Out 2 is the inspiration for this episode. And being an Internal Family Systems therapist/coach, I had to use the movie to talk about parts!
In the movie, anxiety takes a leading role in the life of the main character. This results in impulsive, reactive, and frenzied behaviors. Even though this is a kid's movie, oh can we relate! We all know anxiety can drive us to people-please, strive for perfection, and act out of fear.To counteract anxiety, I'm going to introduce you to a part of yourself that you might not usually rely on: Self energy, or what I like to call Heart Wisdom. This concept, inspired by IFS (Internal Family Systems), encourages us to lead with qualities that foster a proactive approach to managing anxiety.
This is the first in a short Power Pod summer series on the qualities of Self Energy.
Enjoy!Nervous System Freebie mentioned in the episode:
http://subscribepage.io/KNF3NqAll the ways we can hang out and get to know each other:
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075839538976
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
Website - https://powertothepleasers.com
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@powertothepleasers2020/videos
17 min - Parts Work and Personal Growth: How IFS Can Help You Take Things Less Personally
What it’s about:
People react to each other—it's just how things go. Most of us are bumping up against others, unconsciously hoping those bumps won't hurt us or them because we don’t like conflict or tension.
But here’s the deal: we are acting like feeling tension warrants going into survival mode. It doesn’t. And there is another way to work with the fear of upsetting someone.It's parts work.
In this episode, we'll dive into Internal Family Systems (IFS) to understand not only what is going on under the surface that makes us feel so triggered, but how to help ourselves relax back from relying a little too much on this protective stance in relationships.Interesting parts of the episode:
Know Your Parts: Learn about the different parts of your personality and how they influence your reactions.
Reduce Fear: Exploring how fear-based reactions, like people-pleasing and perfectionism, stem from a desire to feel safe.
Empathy in Action: Apply your knowledge of parts work to create more genuine and less reactive connections with others.
Links and Resources:
Free Parts Mapping Session: Interested in learning more about IFS? Here’s the link to get on the calendar! https://calendly.com/vicki-46/free-internal-family-systems-mapping-session
Further IFS exploration: Here’s a BLOG on the 8 C’s of Self Energy – a big part of IFS work. https://powertothepleasers.com/2022/01/04/the-8-cs-qualities-of-strength-stability-and-resilience/
Also check out No Bad Parts - https://ifs-institute.com/store/419 for Richard Schwartz latest book on IFS.
All the ways we can hang out and get to know each other:
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075839538976
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/power.to.the.pleasers/
Website - https://powertothepleasers.com
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@powertothepleasers2020/videos
Another way we can hang out - - - we can work together! Like in real life!
Schedule a time to talk.
https://calendly.com/vicki-46/20min
28 min
About Power to the Pleasers
From the publisher's feed
Welcome to Power to the Pleasers podcast! Do you want to start doing things on your terms and finally feel confident just being yourself in relationships? Tune in every week to as we break down your…
people pleasing and perfectionistic patterns so you can move from being polite and doing it right, to showing up, speaking up and even laughing it up with people. Not sure it’s possible? Well stick around friends and I’ll show you how each week with actionable tips you can use in your everyday life.