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Desistance is a gradual process, unlike the initial identification, and parents may not receive any clear announcement from their child about moving away from a trans-identified phase. A child’s trans identity can often serve as a security blanket, saving them from the hardships and pain of their ‘old-life’. It is so important to honor that perception, b…

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In this podcast, now in it's fourth year, therapists Stella O'Malley and Sasha Ayad take a deep dive into the psychological and cultural forces impacting the social changes around "gender." Through interviews with researchers, doctors, therapists, parents, detransitioners, and others, Sasha and Stella's podcast is a "must listen" for anyone trying to navigate the current gender landscape. With their sharp analytical minds and deep compassionate hearts, Stella and Sasha have also become known throughout many parent networks as lighthouses in the midst of some very stormy seas. Previous guests include Helen Joyce, Jesse Singal, Leor Sapir, Kathleen Stock, Jamie Reed, Peter Boghossian and more. 

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“Chestfeeding”. A controversial term recently adopted from inside the critical social justice movement as inclusive language for discussing breastfeeding. But is it biologically plausible for men to induce lactation? Is it even milk? Is it safe? Natural mammalian lactation possesses evolutionary significance beyond basic sustenance and often provides broader biological functions in human development.  In this bonus episode for premium subscribers, Heather Heying offers up an evolutionary perspective on breastfeeding and the value of breast milk, discussing the broader implications and functions of breast milk beyond just nutrition. The conversation also explores the parenting practices observed in hunter-gatherer cultures in comparison to the trend of over-parenting in more modern American households. Watch our full length episode with Dr. Heather Heying: To listen to our premium content in your favorite podcast app click here for Substack instructions on setting up a private feed.

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Evolutionary biology, gender dynamics, societal norms, chemicals, technology…there is no denying the intricate interplay between biological, psychological, technological and cultural factors in shaping human behavior and identity. Sasha and Stella welcome guest, Heather Heying to the show for a grounding conversation exploring the complexity of human behavior, the inevitability of making mistakes, the anxieties and fears prevalent among the younger generation, and the importance of understanding risk thresholds in navigating life's uncertainties. For links and resources relevant to this episode, access the full show notes at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-163  Buy Our Book – When Kids Say They’re Trans: A Guide for Thoughtful Parents at https://whenkidssaytheyretrans.com/  Join Our Listener Community to Access Exclusive Content at https://www.widerlenspod.com/  Support the Show at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/support-the-show  Join the conversation on YouTube at www.youtube.com/@widerlenspod For more information about Sasha’s & Stella’s parent coaching membership groups, visit: Sasha Ayad: https://sashaayad.com/parenting-coaching   Stella O’Malley: http://www.stellaomalley.com/parent-coaching To learn more about our sponsors, visit: Therapy First at https://www.therapyfirst.org/ (formerly GETA) Genspect at https://genspect.org/ 

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163 - Trans Ideology is a Restriction of Freedom, Not an Expansion of It, with Heather Heying

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In the past decade, it seems a cultural shift toward individualism has created a reluctance among friend groups to share personal struggles, often reserving them for therapy instead. It is important to acknowledge that there exists a delicate paradox in promoting the value of friendships as a source of support while also recognizing that not all issues can be effectively managed solely through peer relationships and do in fact require professional intervention. However, the current climate tends to magnify every subtle emotional fluctuation, hindering resilience and stability in young people. And lo and behold, there is a growing body of reports suggesting that the hyper-focus on mental health may inadvertently contribute to distress and loneliness rather than alleviating it. All of us parents, we're kind of going, ‘I think I should say, get a grip and go back and do your homework’. But the world is telling me I should work with this. And we end up indulging it. And so these kids are constantly fed that this is appropriate. And the kid ends up in a very self-indulgent place around it. And they're not the better for it. They're more brittle. They're they're less strong. They're less resilient. And they could have done with some humor and some ‘you'll be okay, you can figure this out’. It's important to recognize that even difficult emotions serve a purpose and should be respected. Understanding the normal fluctuations in emotional states and appreciating the potential functions of a wide range of emotional experiences is key. True wellness isn't solely about the absence of distress but involves achieving a balanced approach to coping and self-regulation amidst the highs, the lows and everywhere in between. This entails taking responsibility for one's own well-being and exploring various management strategies beyond therapy alone. In this bonus episode for premium subscribers, Sasha and Stella critique the culture of over-reliance on therapy and offer alternative approaches for parents, such as encouraging self-reliance and exploring various resources beyond traditional therapy. They highlight the need for parents to take a lighter touch and consider broader solutions for their children's well-being. Let's take off the gender glasses altogether. And let's think much broader about the needs of this young person.  Watch the full length episode exploring the over-treatment of young people here: To listen to our premium content in your favorite podcast app click here for Substack instructions on setting up a private feed.

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This episode covers a lot of ground, emphasizing the complexities of therapy, the necessity for critical examination of conventional wisdom, and the importance of nurturing authentic relationships both inside the family and social circles (but more specifically, outside of the clinical setting). For links and resources relevant to this episode, access the full show notes at  https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-162   Buy Our Book – When Kids Say They’re Trans: A Guide for Thoughtful Parents at https://whenkidssaytheyretrans.com/  Join Our Listener Community to Access Exclusive Content at https://www.widerlenspod.com/  Support the Show at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/support-the-show  Join the conversation on YouTube at www.youtube.com/@widerlenspod For more information about Sasha’s & Stella’s parent coaching membership groups, visit: Sasha Ayad: https://sashaayad.com/parenting-coaching   Stella O’Malley: http://www.stellaomalley.com/parent-coaching  To learn more about our sponsors, visit: Therapy First at https://www.therapyfirst.org/ (formerly GETA) Genspect at https://genspect.org/ 

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162 - The Over-treatment of Young People

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In many regions, institutional mandates and professional standards that prioritize affirming a child's gender identity without considering alternative approaches or potential risks, are requiring therapists to adhere to gender-affirming care protocols, regardless of any personal reservations and/or evidence based recommendations for anything other than …

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