Presence And Practice

012 John invites Pastor Dave Roberts into a dialogue about the ideas in his new book HEALING CONVERSATIONS

Join Dave & John as they dialogue about how we can participate in creating a place for healing conversations to take place.

Pastor Dave Roberts shares about his new book HEALING CONVERSATIONS.

Dave Roberts is the lead Pastor for the Montrose Church which has made great waves in global communities with recent partnerships in Bolivia, Mexico and a current partnership in Eswatini, Africa. He earned his Master of Divinity at Nazarene Theological Seminary and began serving the Los Angeles Community in 1988. For over 30 years, he has been a practitioner of relationships, community building, and long-term partnerships. With a front row seat to the very real struggles faced by couples, families, and people, Dave has seen how the power of real authentic conversation transforms loneliness and divisiveness into genuine affection and connection. He brings years of practical help and support to people who long to connect spiritually, emotionally, intellectually, and relationally. Dave currently resides in Glendale, California.



FROM AMAZON

Healing Conversations brings to life the seven elements of how to have deep and fulfilling conversations so that people can connect in a world with many conversational obstacles.
Conversation is the way human beings connect. Great friendships are defined by the way one speaks, listens, and flows through the joy of effortless conversation. As the divisions in culture deepen due to politics, generational misunderstanding, the complexity of gender, the struggle to be politically correct, and every other possible human condition, conversation is becoming more and more dangerous. Most people feel an ever-increasing need to be careful with their words. It may be good to be thoughtful of language, but this is a new kind of carefulness. The anxiety of culture is leading people to communicate less and that leads to isolation and divisiveness.

Healing Conversations is a simple way to revolutionize communication. It offers practical help to allow readers to talk their way out of conflict and loneliness. Within Healing Conversations, Dave Roberts helps readers to learn, gain perspective, grow, accomplish real work, come together for a greater good, but even more, helps them to feel intimately connected to the people around them again through the power of conversation.


Presence & Practice
https://www.presenceandpractice.com/blog


Loppnow Relationship Center
John & Sungshim are Contemplative Marriage & Family Therapists
https://www.loppnowrelationshipcenter.com/

011 - You are going really like this conversation.  Chock full of hope.

On March 6, 2020 I had a Zoom conversation with Dr. Benjamin Hardy.  I wanted to support Dr. Hardy in getting the word out about the ideas in his book Personality Isn’t Permanent

Take a listen as we had a meaningful, fun conversation.  I feel like Ben is my brother.  Check it out for yourself. 

Psychologist and bestselling author Benjamin Hardy, PhD, debunks the pervasive myths about personality that prevent us from learning—and provides bold strategies for personal transformation

In Personality Isn’t Permanent, Dr. Benjamin Hardy draws on psychological research to demolish the popular misconception that personality—a person’s consistent attitudes and behaviors—is innate and unchanging. Hardy liberates us from the limiting belief that our “true selves” are to be discovered, and shows how we can intentionally create our desired selves and achieve amazing goals instead. He offers practical, science-based advice to for personal-reinvention.  [From Amazon’s description]

Medium Blog where I discovered Benjamin Hardy 

https://medium.com/@benjaminhardy

Personality Isn’t Permanent - https://benjaminhardy.com/

Gaping Void - Career Hierarchy  

Foster All

https://www.fosterall.org/

Sungshim and I attended a Gala to raise awareness and money for Foster All.  Thanks to Anne Bierling  

The Body Keeps The Score  - Basel ven der Kolk  

Trauma keeps a personality frozen. 

Trauma shatters imagination. 

Gabor Mate  

Personality is a way to cope with trauma. 

SOME NOTES from the episode 

Hope Theory - You can’t have hope without a different or better future. 

Expectancy theory - You can’t have motivation without a clear goal and path to get there. 

Imagination is the key to learning. 

You can’t learn without imagination.   

“Mental flexibility is the basis of imagination” - Basel ven der Kolk  

“If you really want a goal, you better start telling it to everybody.” 

“People don’t typically admit what they want.” 

A fixed mindset often comes from trauma and leads to a fear of failure. 

The more honest and explicit you are the more your environment (people) will support or oppose it. 

I think identity is far more important than personality.  Personality flows out of our identity. 

Fasting is amazing

Fasting is like prayer on steroids.  

A personality typing system helps create an identity and removes a lot of ambiguity.  

…can limit yourself from imaging a future self. 

“They set goals to confirm the label.” 

Want to become like Christ? 

Define that reality, go for it! 

Let's do it together. 

https://www.presenceandpractice.com/


If you are looking for a Contemplative Marriage & Family Therapist you can find one here.
https://www.loppnowrelationshipcenter.com/

010 Episode -- Toni Daniels shares the impact of vibrant families of Jesus and the new book she co-authored.

Joy Fueled - Catalyzing A Revolution of Joyful Communities

Toni Daniels - Training Champion

Toni is passionate about seeing relational restoration in every level of society by awakening, inspiring and training emotional, spiritual ninja warriors.

God-given Design: Toni takes risks and spearheads experiments to find and implement the best pathways to fuel Jesus’ revolution of Joy.

TONI DANIELS 

• Missionary for 18 years Uraguary - Social Entrepreneur / Relational training  
• Mom of 4 (10-30) / Wife - 26 years  
• Wrote a book Back To Joy: An Intimate Journey Into Emotional Health and Maturity
• Part of LK10 Ministries - https://lk10.com/

The Mission

To start vibrant families of Jesus within reach of every person on the planet.

Our 5 Core Values

In short, Lk10 is characterized by joy-fueled, Jesus-led communities of practice, training spiritual moms and dads to nurture ecosystems of grace. Here’s a closer look at each of these values:

Joy-Fueled

Joy, that feeling you get when you are “glad to be together no matter what” is what fuels and motivates us within LK10 (John 14:10). Instead of living out of shame, guilt, or duty, we take time to connect heart to heart with each other. We also ask God, “how do you feel about being with us?” This question gets at our root motivations and consistently brings relational peace as it reveals God’s deep enjoyment of us fueling us to move into our world full of life and presence. 

Then you’re in the right place. Lk10 trains people like you to start Jesus-led, joy-fueled communities. We’re re-imagining church as a simple, organic, and participatory family.

Visit us at https://www.presenceandpractice.com/


If you are interested in Contemplative Marriage & Family therapy find out more here.
https://www.loppnowrelationshipcenter.com/

009
Jim Wilder is our friend and mentor and one of the people we've learned a tremendous amount from over the years.  This book is life altering.  I encourage you to pick it up today.

Jim and John sharing in conversation about his new book.  We had a lot of fun talking, sharing and discussing the ideas.

• Jim's hope and dreams for the book
• Why loving our enemies is the litmus test for our apprenticeship to Jesus
• What is enemy mode?
• What does it mean to have God speak to us?  And, what it doesn't mean.

The book proposes that 

1) Salvation is about attachment and uses the human attachment system to grow a new identity 

2) We can experience mutual mind with God 

3) Mutual mind without attachment will not change character

This conversation will also be released on our YouTube channel.
I'm hoping someone would want to list the topics and time stamps we discuss them on Youtube.  If you are interested please let me know.





He is the neurotheologian of Life Model Works.

Dr. Jim Wilder (Ph.D., Clinical Psychology, and M.A. Theology, Fuller Theological Seminary) has been training leaders and counselors for over 27 years on five continents. He is the author of multiple books with a strong focus on maturing and relationship skills for leaders. His coauthored book Living From the Heart Jesus Gave You has sold over 100,000 copies and is printed in eleven languages. Wilder has published numerous articles and developed four sets of video and relational leadership training called THRIVE. He is the founder and chief neurotheologian of Life Model Work, a nonprofit working at the intersection of brain science and theology that is building contagiously healthy Christian communities through equipping existing networks with the skills to thrive. Dr. Wilder has extensive counseling experience and has served as a guest lecturer at Fuller Seminary, Biola, Talbot Seminary, Point Loma University, Montreat College, Tyndale Seminary and elsewhere.


BIBLE APP with writing from Jim Wilder
I'm reading the @YouVersion plan '12 Ways God Loves You: Practices That Form Strong Attachments To God And God’s People'. Check it out here:
http://bible.com/r/52k

VIDEO
Jim introduces Dallas from the conference (story told in the book)
https://lifemodelworks.org/renovated/...



To Listen to the Podcast go here
https://www.presenceandpractice.com/

008 Breath prayer :: Let It Be : Done Unto Me

To complement this week's sermon theme "Challenged", we will use the phrase, “Let it be done unto me!” as our breath prayer.  We will breathe IN, “Let it be” and breathe OUT, “Done unot to me”. Our hope is to see our heartbeats pulsate with Mary’s surrender as we engage in this week’s breath prayer.  

Mary was an human like you and me living an ordinary and yet well-ordered life.  However, one day she  was greatly challenged and her heart was gravely troubed with Gabriel’s visit.  Gabriel brought a ‘good’ news that would change her well-ordered life into complete disorder.  She knew that her well-ordered life would be called into a complete disorder if she let His order land on her heart. And yet, she welcomed that disorder.  

How did Mary’s heart begin beating with a new rhythm?: the rhythm of letting go of her order and letting in of disorder; empyting order and welcoming disorder.  Did she somehow know that God would not end with disorder but bring reorder? 
This seems like a perennial truth: order-disorder-reorder.  

We do not know how Mary did?  One thing we know is that we would not let go of our well-ordered life unless we have to; we would not accept God’s invitation for transformation unless disorder sets in.  Suffering in the course of our life - mental, physical, emotional and relational suffering - bring us disorder and challenges us to accept the fact that there are things that we can not easily fix, control, change or explain. It seems like we find ourselves or the whole world in disorder and destabilization.  

What if we pause and receive this disorder as God’s invitation to follow Him in bringing ‘reorder’ in our life and the world?  It seems like the ‘oder’ that once worked nicely was built upon many private and separate selves who constantly in competition.  It seems like the ‘reorder’ God desires to bring will be built upon collective body that continually in cooperation.  God is inviting us to become a kind of people who let go of our order and welcome this disorder as a necessary suffering to bring reorder into our life. 

Jesus said to us, “Come, follow me!” 

Let ‘I-Thou’ encounter take place as we closely follow Him today! 

Let Jesus’ face reflect back to us who we are!  We have Jesus’ DNA in us.  

Notice what Jesus said at the end of his life, “Not my will, but yours, be done”  

Those who are drawn to use Jesus’ phrase as this week’s breath prayer please feel free to use it as an alternative one.  Mary’s phrase in the beginning of her life and Jesus one at the end of his life both share the same spirit of complete surrender and trust in God!  

• Pause and set your intention to become fully present to God who is with us in this moment.
• Breathe IN and say, “Let it be”  
• Breathe OUT and say, “Done unto me”
• Repeat three times
• Notice the effect this prayer has on you. 

If you want to study this passage more check out biblehub to get some background on the original language.

Please visit our website.
https://www.presenceandpractice.com/

If you or someone you know is interested in Relationship Coaching or therapy visit
https://www.loppnowrelationshipcenter.com/


We love to teach, train, equip people in the relationship skills they need to live a fulfilled life. 

All relationships are built on learnable skills.
The question becomes, do we want to learn skills in community?

007 John and Sungshim dialogue about rest during "Safer at home" in CA.

Go Deeper with Rest (optional):

• Set your Intention to grow your capacity to rest in God’s love. The life-changing information related to COVID-19 comes at us quickly. It demands us to stay alert; it urges us to move into action; it commands us to master our protective skills. The idea of rest - lowering our alertness, slowing down our action, relinquishing our mastery - sounds unrealistic, irresponsible, and even foolish. And yet, we are urged to “make every effort to enter into that rest” in Hebrew 4:11.
  
  
  The challenge we face is that we rarely experience a sense of completion. Rather, more often than not, we experience a sense of incompletion and lack, which causes us to be in a physiological state of fear and a physical condition of weariness. This makes it almost impossible for us to obey God, by enter into that rest. What we need first is to enter into an honest conversation with God, who sees our weariness with great compassion and restorative power. Listen to Jesus’ initiation of this honest conversation and step by step instruction on how to find rest:
  
  "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me -watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” - Matthew 11:28-30 (MSG)
  
  Let us see the deeper reality where God’s love and power flows in us and through us and never ceases. Real rest begins when we have an honest conversation with God. Real rest is found in the context of real conversation/relationship!
  
  Ponder on the questions below for your conversation with God:
  • In what area(s) of your life do you seem unable to trust in God’s love where you find your ultimate belonging?
  • In what area(s) of your life do you hear loud voices like these? You better hurry, for there is not enough to go around! You better worry, for you are not good or worthy enough yet! You better be tough, for the world is harsh! You can't stop, or you will fall behind!
  • What keeps you from enjoying the awe and wonder of life?
  • What keeps you from welcoming each morning with gratitude?
  • What keeps you awake at night?
• Have a conversation with God about your struggle. Share what came to your awareness with God, in a conversational way, and ask Him to help you to hear His voice (My child, you belong to me; You are safe in my hands.) 
  
  
• Engage yourself in a posture of rest. When you are finished interacting with God, engage  in a posture of rest by actually entering into stillness. For this process, we will use the key line from Psalm 46:10, “Be still and know that I am God.”
  • What do we do? You are invited to recite the key line from Psalm 46:10, “Be still and Know that I am God” 5 times. Each time the line is recited, the key words are taken away and you will find yourself simply ‘being’ in His presence. 
  • How to do it? Recite/chant/sing as follows:
    • Be still and know that I am God, (pause)
    • Be still and know that I am, (pause)
    • Be still and know, (pause)
    • Be still, (pause)
    • Be
  • If you desire, linger in the silence.

https://www.presenceandpractice.com/ 

https://www.loppnowrelationshipcenter.com/

006
In this episode John leads you through a simple breath prayer using Brennen Manning's Abba, I belong to you breath prayer.

A fitting prayer at this time.

Brennan Manning years ago: “Abba, I belong to you.”  This breath prayer is known to have brought healing to many in suffering by restoring their true identity as the beloved child. Let us remember that it is God who breathed His spirit on us  (John 20:22) and enabled us to call Him Abba (Romans 8:15-16).   

In Ephesians 3:2-13, Paul describes how God initiated our belonging to Him, included outsiders in His family, and invited you and me to carry the message of inclusion (belonging to God) to the world.  

Let us begin the journey of bringing the message of God’s inclusion by appreciating our Father for establishing a way HOME, where we find rest and strength in times of uncertainty and insecurity.

To learn more about Brennan’s teaching on “The Abba Experience”, check out his book “Abba’s Child: The Cry of the Heart for Intimate Belonging”.  

Use today’s breath prayer to ground yourself into a deeper reality. First, remember that you as an individual belong to God as His beloved child. Second, think about how all humanity belongs to God as His beloved children. 

Thus we encourage you to engage yourself in this breath prayer twice as follows:

1st round:

• Pause and set your intention to become fully present to God who is with you in this moment.
• Engage in Breath Prayer 
  • Breath IN and say, “Abba”
  • Breathe OUT and say, “I belong to you!”  
• Repeat by taking three intentional slow, deep breaths to ground into this deeper reality. 
• Notice the effect this prayer has on you. 
• Original version 
  • Breathe IN: Abba 
  • Breathe OUT: I Belong To You 
• Short version
  • Breathe IN:  Abba
  • Breathe OUT:  Belong  

2nd round:

• Pause and set your intention to become fully present to God who is with us in this moment.
• Engage in Breath Prayer 
  • Breath IN and say, “Abba”
  • Breathe OUT and say, “We belong to you!”  
• Repeat by taking three intentional slow, deep breaths to ground into this deeper reality. 
• Notice the effect this prayer has on you. 

• Original version 
  • Breathe IN: Abba 
  • Breathe OUT: We Belong To You 
• Short version
  • Breathe IN:  Abba
  • Breathe OUT:  Belong  

 

https://www.presenceandpractice.com/

005 John introduces you to a breath prayer integrating scripture from this week's sermon from Montrose Church. 

We will use Ephesians 2:4-8 as the basis for our breath prayer: “My Grace Makes You Alive!”

“ But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God.”

• Pause and set your intention to become fully present to God who is with us in this moment.

• Breathe IN and hear God say your own name, __________, in the most loving and joy-filled way, then continue by saying the following phrase, “My Grace”.

• Breathe OUT and hear God say, “Makes you alive!”

• Repeat by taking three intentional slow, deep breaths to engage in listening to God.
• Notice the effect this prayer has on you. 

• Original version 
  • Breath IN: (Your name) My Grace
  • Breath OUT: Makes You Alive 
• Short version
  • Breathe IN:  Grace
  • Breathe OUT:  Alive 

For clients who are open we share breath prayers with them as a resource.  Considering sharing breath prayers on our website
https://www.loppnowrelationshipcenter.com/emdr-trauma-therapy

As always we share on our ministry website at Presence And Practice.
https://www.presenceandpractice.com/

Remember, You are loved!

004 John and Sungshim dialogue about breath prayer as God's Big Yes to you!

The things we learned teaching breath prayer at Montrose Church.

Pray in the Spirit on all occasions [Eph 6:18]

Pray continually or pray without ceasing  [1 These 5:17]

Don’t be pulled in different directions or worried about a thing. Be saturated in prayer throughout each day,  [Phil 4:6]


The Big Brain Question from Mark Brady.

Brother Lawrence - The Practice of the Presence of God

The Way of the Pilgrim

Prayer - Richard Foster


“Life from the Center is a life of unhurried peace and power. It is simple.  It is serene.  It is amazing.  It is triumphant.  It is radiant.  It takes  no time, but it occupies all our time.  And it makes our life programs new and overcoming.”  - Thomas Kelly


BLESSING

God bless you

May we become the kind of people who experiences 

The God 

who sees us

who hears us

and knows the depth of what we experience 

so that we know that He is with us 

and He is doing something about this

by strengthening our spirits.

May we become the people of love.

For more info on Presence And Practice
https://www.presenceandpractice.com/


Our private practice Loppnow Relationship Center
https://www.loppnowrelationshipcenter.com/

#003 - Breath Prayer Practice
In this episode John leads you through the breath prayer practice using Psalm 23:1

The Lord is my Shepherd (IN breath)
I have everything I need (OUT breath)



***Note: If you have listened to the entire episode and want to jump to the beginning of the practice you can head to 4:15.