🤍 Episode 35 | I Wish They Could See This

I catch myself saying it all the time.

“I wish they could see this.”

The new doors God is opening.

Choosing joy on the hard days.

Walking away when it’s time.

Beating cancer.

The perfect peanut butter cookies.

Even my ginger hair… which I’m still hoping heaven lets me keep. 😉

Grief has taught me something I never expected.

The people we love don’t stop showing up.

Sometimes it’s in a Winn-Dixie phone number that still saves me money.

Sometimes it’s a run-on sentence that sounds just like someone I miss.

Sometimes it’s spilled coffee by the coffee pot.

Sometimes it’s a laugh, a mannerism, or a little bit of sass in someone else.

Maybe they aren’t beside us anymore.

But maybe little pieces of them are still all around us.

And maybe that’s one of God’s sweetest gifts—that love leaves fingerprints.

“We do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope.” — 1 Thessalonians 4:13

Grief grows.

By God’s grace… so do we.

🎙️ Episode 35, “I Wish They Could See This,” is available now.

Pull up a chair. I’d love to have you at the table. 🤍

Maybe birthdays after loss will never feel the way they used to.

Maybe there will always be an empty chair.

An unanswered phone.

A name your heart still waits to hear.

But love doesn’t end because a life does.

The people we love keep showing up—in recipes we still make, songs we still sing, stories we still tell, and traditions we refuse to let die.

So celebrate anyway.

Not because grief is gone.

But because love is still here.

Happy Birthday to them.

Thank you for loving them enough that their absence still echoes.

And if today is heavy…

I’m proud of you for making it through another one.

I’ll meet you back here next week.

Same table.

Different stories.

Still making room for grief and joy to sit side by side.

Until then…

Keep choosing love.

Keep choosing grace.

And keep choosing to remember.

— B.

🎙️ WORKING THROUGH GRIEF: DENIAL

I used to tell myself my elementary school best friend wasn’t dead.

She had simply gone undercover for the FBI.

Delusional? Absolutely.

But grief doesn’t care about logic.

That’s the thing about denial nobody tells you.

It’s not always refusing reality.

Sometimes it’s your heart buying time.

Sometimes it sounds like:

“But we just talked.”

“I just saw them.”

“I just texted them.”

As if yesterday should protect us from today.

As if loss should have given us more warning.

In this episode, we’re talking about the stories we tell ourselves when our hearts aren’t ready for the truth.

The pretty.

The painful.

And the space between what our heads know and what our hearts are still learning.

💛 Because sometimes denial is just love struggling to catch up with loss.

#PrettyAndPainfulPodcast #WorkingThroughGrief #Denial #GriefJourney #GriefSupport #HealingOutLoud #GriefAndGrace #PodcastLife

Episode 32: Slipping Away

⚠️ Content Warning: This episode discusses depression, anxiety, emotional exhaustion, and survival mode.

Some episodes I show up with answers.

This isn’t one of them.

This week we’re talking about the quiet battles. The kind you fight while you’re still smiling. The kind nobody notices because you’re still showing up, still functioning, still carrying the weight.

We’re talking about depression.

Anxiety.

Feeling yourself slip away while trying to convince everyone you’re okay.

For the first time in a long time, I took a step back. Not because I wanted to, but because I needed to. And if you’ve ever found yourself drowning without the energy to ask for help, this episode is for you.

But somewhere in the middle of the darkness, one thought kept finding me:

God’s not done with me yet.

So if you’re exhausted, overwhelmed, heartbroken, anxious, or simply surviving today, pull up a chair.

We’ll sit in it together.

Same table as always

Because sometimes survival is holy too.

Working Through Grief: Episode 2 — Numbness

After the shock fades, something else settles in.

Numbness.

The silence after the phone call.

The blank stare across a crowded room.

The moments where you know you’re hurting, but you can’t seem to feel it.

In Episode 2 of the Working Through Grief series, B opens up about the strange season that follows loss—the part where your heart builds walls to survive. The part where you’re functioning, smiling, going to work, showing up for everyone else… while feeling completely disconnected from yourself.

This episode explores emotional shutdown, survival mode, and the guilt that often comes with not feeling “grief enough.” If you’ve ever wondered why you feel stuck, detached, or like part of you disappeared when they did, this conversation is for you.

Because numbness isn’t the absence of grief.

Sometimes it’s grief’s way of keeping you alive.

Grab your coffee, your tissues, or just a quiet place to sit for a while. You’re not walking through this alone, babes.

Pretty & Painful Podcast

Where grief and joy sit at the same table

The Girl You Don’t Know

Thousands of people know pieces of me.

The grief girl.

The firefighter.

The dispatcher.

The BBQ queen.

The loud girl.

The girl who always seems to have something to say.

But what about the girl behind all of that?

In this episode, we’re pulling back the curtain and talking about the versions of ourselves we don’t often introduce to the world. The insecure girl. The angry girl. The exhausted girl. The one carrying shame, regrets, healing, hope, and a thousand untold stories.

This isn’t the polished version.

It’s not the highlight reel.

It’s the chapters that happen behind closed doors, the battles nobody sees, and the truth that we are all so much more than the labels people place on us.

If you’ve ever felt misunderstood, defined by your worst moments, or like nobody truly sees the whole you, pull up a chair. This conversation is for us.

Because there is always more to the story than the eye shows.

Loving From a Distance

Some relationships don’t end with a slammed door.

They end with a quiet realization.

A realization that love and access are not the same thing.

In this episode of Pretty & Painful, we’re talking about the grief that comes from loving people you can no longer do life with. The heartbreak of watching resentment, hurt, pride, and pain create distance where connection once lived.

We’re talking about boundaries.

Mental health.

The exhausting cycle of trying to earn approval from people determined not to give it.

And the freedom that comes when you finally stop carrying what was never yours to carry.

This isn’t an episode about anger.

It’s about peace.

It’s about accepting that some roads were never meant to stay connected, and sometimes the most loving thing you can say is:

“I wish you well.”

Because you can love someone deeply and still choose distance.

And sometimes that’s exactly what healing looks like.

Pretty & Painful Podcast — Where grief and joy sit at the same table.

Babes… I can’t live, laugh, love in this economy.

I can barely add to cart.

This week we’re talking dopamine dressing, oversized t-shirts, Shein carts, weight loss, anxiety, reunion nerves, and the strange experience of trying to recognize yourself while you’re still growing.

Somewhere between the beige trends, the bed rot, the life stress, and the “I have nothing to wear” spiral, I realized this episode isn’t really about clothes at all.

It’s about identity.

It’s about learning to stop waiting for the next version of yourself to arrive before allowing yourself to enjoy your life.

So grab your emotional support oversized tee, your iced coffee, and maybe that leopard print you’ve been saving for a special occasion.

We’re figuring out how to thrive in this economy, in this season, and in the beautiful mess of becoming ourselves.

Because the algorithm says beige.

But my soul says hot pink. 🩷

Sometimes grief finds us in the strangest places.

A finch on a buoy.

A quiet river.

A memory that suddenly feels alive again.

In this Table Talk episode of Pretty & Painful, we’re sharing a listener story that reminds us how deeply love lingers — even in the smallest signs. From the crystal waters of the Ichetucknee to the ache of missing someone who mattered, this episode is about connection, remembrance, and the moments that make us stop and whisper, “that had to mean something.”

If you’ve ever searched for your person in sunsets, songs, birds, or still water… this one’s for you.

Because grief is heavy.

But sometimes healing floats quietly beside it.

same table, different plates. 🩷

Shock changes people.

In Episode One of the new Working Through Grief series, we’re talking about the first stage of grief — the numb, blurry, disorienting reality that comes after loss.

The phone call.

The hospital room.

The “this can’t be real” feeling.

The exhaustion.

The replaying of final moments over and over again.

From anticipatory grief and hospice goodbyes to sudden loss and the silence that follows, this episode is for the fresh griever, the lifelong griever, and anyone learning how to survive after goodbye.

Because whether grief came instantly or slowly… it still burns like hell.

🎙️ Pretty & Painful Podcast

“Where grief and joy sit at the same table.”