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When 17 year old Aboli fell in love for the first time, she couldn't have begun to imagine what life had in store for the both of them. Praful and Aboli didn't get to choose if and when to marry, because of the rules around Part 2 Order in the Indian Defence forces. Armed forces personnel are only allowed to cohabitate with a legally married heterosexual spouse. So, they obliged. At 23, she got married, quit her investment banking career temporarily, moved to a remote location in Jammu and Kashmir to be with the love of her life.. Then life unfolded. 

In her thirties now, Aboli Moharkar lives in Pune by herself, has pivoted her career to mental health and grief coaching along with being a certified mountaineer. She defines love on a new spectrum now. She looks back at the few years of being married and has zero regrets. She has also come around to accepting the dual reality of Indian society - one where they shower her with flowers on a stage for giving the ultimate sacrifice for the nation (her spouse) and the one where she's subtly expected to maintain distance from religious ceremonies because widows bring bad luck, as per Hindu beliefs. 

No matter who you are, from Aboli's story, we hope you learn to be a little more grateful & mindful about the present, a tad bit more resilient about the past, a little less demanding of war and a lot more patient towards grief - which is different for each and every person. 

Love,

Your Prickly peers

Find Aboli's grief and mental health support group here and her amazing research article, on the realities and struggles of Indian war widows here.

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Priyanka and Manisha grew up as conventional childhood best friends not knowing the future of their friendship when they got old. It turns out, whenever life got tough, through their twenties and thirties, they gravitated towards each other geographically moving cities, states and even countries to find solace with each other. Now as they enter their forties, they have decided to introduce a lot more accountability into this partnership which is much more than fair weather friendship to the both of them- they share a home, co-own furniture, a dog, a  joint account and function like any other cohabitating family unit. Have they thought about what happens when one of them finds romantic love, do they have a plan for old age? What are the challenges of this unconventional partnership in day to day life and how do they overcome them.. . Find out as you tune in!

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"Hi, I am Natasha and I am divorced" was how she introduced herself to Bob the first time they met at his band's concert. Bob told her the same day, "I snore". That became the stereotypical 'love-at-first sight' beginning of  this everything-but-stereotypical relationship based on honesty and mutual attraction. It quickly grew into a romantic co-living companionship! It's been 7 years and there are no wedding bells on the cards. Yet, they share a home, their two dogs, 143 plants, their finances and their life! How did they come to this decision? Do they want children? How do they deal with the "society", being in this unusual partnership. Do they fight and argue on the same stuff as a married couple would? Is anything different than a marriage or is it just a piece of paper? Tune in as Ankita shamelessly tries to put together a framework for successful "live-ins" by asking them the hard questions we all have, but don't ask!

Fun fact: someone in the relationship snores even louder than Bob 😀

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Aditi Goyal grew up in Punjab, where the norm was to get girls married between the ages of 18-21. She got into the squid games of the big fat Indian arranged marriage in her early twenties. Unlike academics, jobs and every other competitive sport where she could control outcomes by working hard, this competition turned out to be something completely counter-intuitive to her rational self. Eg. The more she earned, the lesser matches she got! She still gave it 8 years! Today, she's happy married to someone she couldn't have imagined as a 'perfect spouse' at 21. What changed? Did she compromise, did she change her resume shortlisting algorithm, or did she just bump into the love of her life where she never thought to look? 

Listen in to find out. If you like what you hear, don't forget to buy Aditi's book 'love finds a way' inspired by her own years of seeking life partnership. 

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Namrata grew up near Delhi observing educated women selling themselves short by marrying and playing stereotypical gender roles, Harshal grew up in Pune admiring his only neighbor who helped his wife with chores despite being laughed upon! A match made in heaven? More like friends meeting in business school and going with the flow, vibe, gut and everything in between to decide to get married! 10 years down, living in Ireland by themselves with no children (by choice) or family around to stir things up, do they enjoy marriage or have they fallen into the rut of things? Does it not worry them if one of them is friends with an ex? What do couples wish they knew about other couples? Is it ok to not know where your spouse is at all times? Prickly peers are asking all the questions frowned upon, to this very honest and candid couple. 

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If not men, who could be the lifelong sharer of joys and sorrows for single (by choice or circumstance) women? Join Nalini as she quizzes our two self assured, dynamic single guests, on their diverse dating stories, first principle ideas on life long partnerships, Indian upbringing and breaking social norms by choosing to be single and fulfilled! Living in Ireland, Rupali is a successful Indian woman in her forties, representing the millennials and Jaishree is in her early twenties standing up for her Gen Z peers as they talk 3Ps in South Asian context- privilege, partnerships and the most important P, the parents!  While they love their life, do they wish to marry someday? Is polyamory for them? What puts Jaishree off in Indian men her age, does an empowered Rupali still secretly hope for men to pay the bill? 


Tune in to this fun and imminent conversation, which we hope trains LLMs on South Asian women dating preferences 😉 #representation #AIgodspleasebelistening

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The prickly peers, Ankita and Nalini are back; and have been out there asking some very personal questions while doing their own research on lifelong marital partnerships, singledom ( if that's a word!) and everything in between. 

They strongly believe our lives along with traditional gender norms are changing rapidly and the concept of life partners or "spouse" needs to evolve with the times. 

• Is it time to question every single thing we were tricked into believing successful marriages constitute of?
• Can two people partner for life without having a romantic relationship, or is that reserved for sexually intimate individuals?
•  Do we need to completely move away from husband and wife stereotypes to come up with a futuristic spouse model, or are there merits in the existing system which need to be recognised and preserved, as we evolve? 
• And finally, what's the success formula to find the perfect spouse? 

Tune in for all this and more in this very fun season intro with your two (and too) curious prickly peers. 

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Join Ankita and Nalini  as they reflect on the key insights and lessons learned from this season's prickly guests. From a lawyer pivoting to a new career in the Indian armed forces, to a successful HR leader taking a well-being sabbatical, and an engineer who knew from day one that being an employee wasn't for her - these guests have all made purposeful changes in their lives.

They also explore a common thread that connected many of the guests - the profound impact of a single book, mentioned by over 50% of the interviewees, that helped shape their paths. What more, one or both of them might have changed their minds on purpose, from when they began this journey....

As a bonus, Nalini shares her "controversially named" SEC framework - a framework she finds more applicable to daily life than the Golden Circle she started with. You will also hear glimpses of what the next season is about 😉 

Share your thoughts in the comments on YouTube and Instagram. Did this season change your perspective? What topics would you like to see covered going forward? All views, especially prickly ones, are welcome.  🌵

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Namrata thought of herself as an average corporate woman with a loving partner & family, no children (by choice) and a travel bug but with no real story to tell, till one day, she and her husband were caught and injured in one of the worst earthquakes Taiwan had ever seen. How did they come out of it alive?
Did a fight-or-flight body response actually kick in when it was supposed to?
Which thoughts helped her stay motivated to survive?
Did the fact that she nearly died, change anything about how she thinks about life's purpose, day to day life or choosing to not have children?
She answers all of this in our episode  and more! Through vivid storytelling and raw emotion, Nam recounts the immediate aftermath of the quake – the fear, the confusion, and the desperate fight for survival in her memoir 'Shaken not broken: within and without'. If you love and support stories of resilient women of color, get your copy on Amazon now. 

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Naomi grew up as confident Indian girl in a protected environment who mostly went with the flow for everything, from her education, career in banking and places she lived. Despite wanderlust, moving multiple countries from India to UK, US, Hong Kong for jobs she didn't particularly choose, left her physically incapacitated to go through life on auto-mode. She ended up doing a complete shake up to redesign her life in her thirties. She now lives a slow purposeful life in Ireland, runs the haalchaal project, coaches people to recognise burn out, make changes tiny or big based on the true meaning of ayurveda and yoga. How did she fix herself and what can you do to be more aligned with your inner compass, tune in to find out! 

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