Hebrews 5:14 says, “But solid food is for those who are full grown, who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern good and evil.” This verse is simple, but powerful. It means that spiritual maturity comes from practice, from consistency, from doing; not just from knowing. It also means that maturity is a process. It doesn’t happen overnight. It doesn’t show up because someone handed you a title or a leadership book. And it definitely doesn’t show up just because you want it to. Growth takes time. Just like a baby doesn’t jump straight to eating steak, we don’t go from newborn faith to full spiritual strength in a weekend. We grow by being nourished appropriately in every season.

So let’s break this down. In mentorship, especially in leading from a healed place, we must learn to see the stage someone is in. When we ignore their growth cycle and force-feed them something they’re not ready for, we cause harm. Not only do we confuse them, but we often shame them. And shame doesn’t grow people; it shuts them down. We live in a culture that celebrates speed. Quick results. Flashy transformations. But God doesn’t microwave transformation. He cultivates it. He nurtures it. He moves from glory to glory; not from pressure to pressure. So as mentors, leaders, and spiritual fathers and mothers, we must reject the urge to rush.

We’ve got to stop putting burdens on people that they’re not ready to carry. A common mistake we make is giving someone a big responsibility just because they’re enthusiastic. But gifting does not equal grounding. And calling does not always equal character; yet. When we expect someone to run at a pace they’re not built for, or to carry something that’s still too heavy for them emotionally or spiritually, we set them up for failure. And that failure often births confusion, shame, and sometimes even bitterness toward the church or toward God. That’s why the process matters.

Now here’s where we shift into responsibility as mentors. God never asked us to manufacture transformation. You and I can’t force change in someone. But we can build the environment for growth. Think of it like a garden. You don’t pull on a seed to make it grow faster. You prepare the soil. You water it. You make sure the light gets to it. You check on it. You speak life over it. And you protect it from things that would choke it out. In the same way, spiritual maturity happens best in the right environment, not in a performance lab. We don’t make the fruit grow. But we can make sure the root is healthy.

Let’s look at Paul and Timothy. Paul didn’t throw a Bible at Timothy and say, “Good luck.” He didn’t hand him a job description and disappeared. He walked with him. He fathered him. He corrected him, yes; but he also encouraged him, traveled with him, and modeled for him what it meant to lead from integrity. Mentorship is a relationship, not a classroom. And relationships are built over time. If we want to help people grow, we have to stay. Stay long enough to see the progress. Stay long enough to guide the wrestle. Stay long enough to be the example of what steady, stable, mature faith actually looks like.

Now let me tell you about myself for a minute. I used to believe that maturity was about speed. I thought if someone was learning fast, quoting Scripture, showing up to everything, and doing all the “right” things, then they were mature. But time showed me something different. I had to unlearn that mindset. I began to realize that maturity is not about how fast you move; it’s about the direction you stay in. God cares more about consistency than charisma. He’s looking for those who keep walking with Him, even when they don’t feel like it. Even when it’s hard. Even when no one else is watching.