In Episode 10, Kim opens Season Two by breaking down procrastination in a way most people have never heard it explained before.

This episode isn't about productivity, discipline, or time management. It's about emotional risk, fragile self-esteem, and the identities we built in childhood to survive.

Kim explains why procrastination shows up around the things that matter most. Big conversations. Creative work. Boundaries. Healing. Growth. And why avoidance isn't laziness. It's protection.

Drawing from attachment theory, trauma, neurobiology, and her own lived experience, Kim connects procrastination to emotional attunement, identity, shutdown, people-pleasing, catastrophizing, and the fear of inner collapse. She also explains why insight alone doesn't change behavior, and what actually has to shift for real movement to happen.

–––––––––––––––––– Time Stamps & Topics

00:00 – Rage, triggers, and decades of stored emotional memory

00:25 – Why feeling misunderstood cuts so deeply

00:52 – Procrastination isn't about time management

02:29 – Procrastination around hard conversations

03:01 – Mistakes, shame, and fragile self-esteem

05:28 – What self-esteem actually is (and isn't)

06:25 – Emotional attunement explained

07:37 – Why "they'll never understand me" isn't true

08:10 – Childhood emotional neglect and minimization

09:14 – Avoidant coping and jumping to solutions

09:57 – Why being sat with matters

10:27 – Religion, conflict avoidance, and emotional bypassing

11:30 – Biology of trauma and implicit memory

12:33 – Adoption, abandonment, and cognitive bias

13:46 – Anger as a lifelong trigger

14:52 – Suppression vs expression of emotion

15:41 – Coping mechanisms and shutdown

16:24 – Anxious vs avoidant responses in conflict

18:28 – Catastrophizing and control

19:13 – Why anxiety feels protective

23:14 – Childhood roles: good child, peacemaker, achiever

26:25 – Waiting until you're angry to speak

29:12 – Why your partner isn't the whole cause

30:07 – Shutdown as self-protection, not punishment

31:05 – Why insight doesn't change behavior

33:11 – Reframing hard conversations

36:16 – How family freezes you in old identities

37:35 – Why growth feels threatening

38:05 – Holding competing emotions about parents

39:22 – Letting go of old identities

40:05 – Why growth feels risky, not empowering

41:18 – What actually reduces procrastination

42:09 – Questions to ask yourself about avoidance

44:58 – Pay attention to what you avoid

45:26 – What avoidance is protecting ––––––––––––––––––

This episode is especially relevant if you feel stuck despite insight, avoid hard conversations, or keep postponing the things that matter most to you.

Kim's website: https://www.kimpolinder.com/

Kim's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kp_counseling/

Kim's YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@engineeringlovepodcast