You build a strong case. You bring the data. You explain your reasoning. And the other person still says they need to think about it.
Patrick van der Burght has spent 25 years explaining why that happens. He is a founding member of the Cialdini Institute, one of the top ranked Cialdini Certified Trainers in the world, and a business partner of Dr. Robert Cialdini. His clients include Google, Apple, Canva and Cisco.
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In this episode he walks through the research on how people actually decide. Around 95% of decisions come from System 1, the fast intuitive part of the brain that runs on shortcuts. Yet when you sit down to write a pitch, an email or a proposal, you are consciously thinking, which means you are in System 2. So you produce logic and justification for a part of the brain that handles a fraction of the decisions. The result is not a no. It is an indecision, and Patrick argues those indecisions are where most of your lost yeses live.
He then walks through all seven universal principles of persuasion, with workplace examples for each: Reciprocity, Liking, Unity, Social Proof, Authority, Consistency and Scarcity. Santi pushes back on scarcity fatigue, brings a real case from a Swiss retailer that deleted 350,000 unverified reviews, and asks what happens to authority when people start trusting AI more than experts.
The through line is ethics. Manipulation removes choice. Persuasion surfaces the reasons a yes was already there. One holds when the boss leaves the room. The other does not.
- Around 95% of decisions are made by System 1, the fast, automatic, shortcut driven part of the brain. Attention spans have dropped from 20 minutes in the 1980s to about 7 seconds, which pushes that number higher every year.
- Most professional communication addresses System 2, the slow logical part, which handles roughly 5% of decisions. That mismatch creates uncertainty, and uncertain people postpone rather than refuse.
- Manipulation removes choice. Persuasion gives options and lets the yes surface on its own. When the decision comes from inside the other person, the behaviour holds without supervision.
- A gift with a condition attached is a reward, not a gift, and it does not trigger reciprocity. The downloadable ebook behind an email form is a lead magnet, not a favour.
- In a study on email negotiation, sharing personal information before talking business dropped deadlocked negotiations from 30% to 6%. The effect came from the number of similarities uncovered, not the volume of information shared.
- Do not introduce your own credentials. Have someone else do it, before you speak, so every sentence lands with the weight it deserves.
- The most persuasive average review score is 4.2 to 4.7. A perfect 5.0 reads as filtered or bought.
- The word "because" raised compliance in the photocopier queue study from roughly 64% to 93%, even when the reason that followed it carried no information.
- AI understands persuasion science but has no situational awareness. It does not know your relationship history, so it picks the wrong principle for the moment and invents supporting detail.
💬 Guest Links:
Patrick van der Burght LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/patrick-van-der-burght/
Ethical Persuasion Unlocked podcast - https://ethicalpersuasion.com.au/podcast/
Patrick on YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ethicalpersuasion
Patrick on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/ethical_persuasion/
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