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You gave in last time. And the time before that. When marriage starts feeling lopsided, keeping score can feel less like selfishness and more like simple fairness. Counselor Debra Fileta joins Dave and Ann Wilson on FamilyLife Today to unpack selfishness in marriage—and finding your way back to “we.”

Show Notes and Resources

• Choosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me.
• Debra Fileta.
• Weekend to Remember.

• Thanks to the Christian Standard Bible for sponsoring this episode. Learn more at CSBible.com.
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• Check out all the FamilyLife's podcasts on the FamilyLife Podcast Network.

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I don’t think Alexander Graham Bell could ever have conceived how much we would use his little invention called the telephone, or how many ways we would think up to use it! You know, some of those magic three-number prefixes that we all know so well; the 800 number, because 800 equals toll free calls, and there’s 888, and there are all kinds of them now. We’re pretty quick to make that call. Then there are the 900 numbers; the toll rich calls. You really want to be very slow to make those calls. Those 900 numbers can access everything from Santa Claus at Christmastime to party lines for lonely people, to pornography.

And then there’s 911. In many places across this country 911 is the number you dial for emergencies. You dial that and you’ll get an operator who will immediately, of course, dispatch the police, or the fire or the medical help that your emergency requires. Now, 911 callers, if you’ve ever heard their recordings, they are not casual. They speak with urgency, sometimes they’re in tears, and they’re almost always desperate…and help is on the way.

I’m Ron Hutchcraft and I want to have A Word With You today about “Desperation Praying.”

Our word for today from the Word of God comes from Matthew 5, and I’ll begin reading in verse 24. “A large crowd followed and pressed around Jesus, and a woman was there who was subject to bleeding for twelve years. She suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all that she had. Yet instead of getting better, she grew worse. When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in a crowd and touched His cloak, because she thought, ‘If I could just touch His clothes I will be healed.’ Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was free from her suffering.”

This is the story of desperation. This is a woman with a need that no one could meet. She had been to every resource there was; she exhausted them all, and no one could meet that need but Jesus. She almost literally lunges for Jesus. It’s that kind of desperation that unleashes the power of God in your out-of-control situation.

Unfortunately, so much of our praying is measured, and predictable, and theologically beautiful, but not desperate. When someone calls 911, the voice is not usually calm and the caller is not beating around the bush. “Hello, I’d like to speak to you about a little situation we have here. Let me give you a brief description of it and see if there’s anything you can do.” No, it’s, “Help!” And then there’s that urgent, often clumsy description of the need, and then help is on the way.

See, the most powerful praying in the world is 911 praying; pouring out that whole bottle of emotions you’ve got, gushing to God all the hurt, and the anger, and the doubt, and the loneliness, and the fear. Not trying to be strong any more—lunging for Jesus. It says here she had spent all she had on a solution. Does that sound like you? You’re in a situation that’s totally out of your control, you’ve done everything you can, you have no more ability to affect the situation, and Jesus is your only hope. Excuse me, but that’s a great place to be!

That’s when all the emergency resources of heaven start roaring to your side. God’s been waiting for you to be honest with Him, desperate with Him, bankrupt in front of Him; to release it all and then to collapse into His arms. Whatever is causing you to bleed, that’s His great concern. Just let it go! Don’t try to be strong with Him. Let it out!

God responds miraculously to 911 calls from his children. And my friend, help is on the way.

How did a young Jewish man rise to a place of influence and prominence in a pagan culture---and stay true to God? Exploring the choices Daniel made, renowned Bible teacher, Anne Graham Lotz, will unlock 20 secrets to a successful, steadfast, and godly life. Discover how to trust, obey, pray, worship, repent, practice humility and live courageously.

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Before God used Elijah to confront a nation, He led him to a hiding place. In this powerful message, Dr. Michael Youssef teaches from 1 Kings 17, showing how God prepares His servants through obedience, faith, and complete dependence on Him.

Elijah was an ordinary man called to an extraordinary mission. He stood against King Ahab's wickedness and Israel's worship of Baal, boldly proclaiming God's Truth. But before his next assignment, God sent him to the Brook Cherith—where the Lord would provide for him, protect him, and strengthen his faith.

Dr. Youssef reminds us that God's hiding places are not wasted seasons. They are opportunities to grow in trust, surrender, and obedience.

This episode calls you to:

• Trust God during seasons of waiting and uncertainty,
• Recognize His provision and protection,
• Repent of hidden idols and spiritual compromise,
• Obey God's calling without fear,
• Grow in prayer and dependence on Christ,
• Prepare for the work God has called you to do.

Are you in a season of waiting? Discover how God can use your hiding place to deepen your faith and prepare you for His purpose.

Scripture Focus: 1 Kings 17

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Most Christians want to be generous. But wanting to give and actually following through are two different things.

With so many worthy causes, competing needs, and financial decisions to consider, even the best intentions can become overwhelming. Without a plan, our giving can become reactive rather than purposeful, driven more by the requests we receive than by a thoughtful understanding of how God has entrusted us to steward His resources.

So, how can we move from good intentions to meaningful action?

Kendra VanderMeulen, CEO of the National Christian Foundation (NCF), joined the show today to discuss how developing a thoughtful giving strategy can help Christians become more intentional, generous stewards.

For more than four decades, NCF has helped believers put their generosity into action, facilitating more than $25 billion in grants to over 100,000 churches and charitable organizations.

According to VanderMeulen, one of the greatest obstacles to intentional generosity is simply the number of decisions involved.

What should we give? How much? When? And to whom?

Without a clear strategy, these questions can leave us feeling overwhelmed. Instead of giving with confidence and purpose, we may respond to requests as they arise, unsure when to say yes or no.

The solution begins with Scripture. Proverbs 3:9 says, "Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the firstfruits of all your produce."

Generosity isn't merely a financial transaction. It's an expression of worship and a recognition that everything we possess ultimately belongs to God.

VanderMeulen encourages Christians to begin by considering the causes and needs that stir their hearts. What brings you joy? What breaks your heart? Where do you see opportunities to participate in the work God is doing?

From there, consider the resources God has placed in your hands and how you might use them to serve others. And remember, developing a giving strategy doesn't have to happen overnight. The goal isn't perfection. It's taking one faithful step at a time toward greater intentionality.

When most people think about charitable giving, they picture writing a check or making an online donation. But cash represents only a portion of the resources many households possess.

VanderMeulen highlights an important distinction: Roughly 90% of charitable giving comes from cash, even though approximately 90% of wealth is held in other forms. That means some of the greatest opportunities for generosity may be found outside our checking and savings accounts.

Non-cash assets that may be suitable for charitable giving include appreciated stocks, bonds, real estate, privately held businesses, and other investments.

Families can sometimes donate these assets directly to charitable organizations or donor-advised funds, potentially giving more efficiently while supporting causes they care about.

For Christians who have spent decades building a business, investing, or accumulating other assets, this opens the door to thinking about generosity in entirely new ways. Instead of asking only how much they can give from their income, they can consider how the wealth entrusted to them might bless others.

One of the most important principles in asset-based giving is to consider generosity before a major financial transaction.

For example, someone preparing to sell a business, investment property, or appreciated securities may have an opportunity to structure a charitable gift before the sale takes place.

Depending on the circumstances, donating an appreciated asset before selling it may reduce certain tax liabilities and increase the amount ultimately available for charitable purposes. Howe