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Important question: how do you handle conflict in your relationship? Are you a person who bursts out in anger or are you someone who completely shuts down? In this program, Chip shares why neither of those approaches work well. Hear what the Bible says about resolving conflict in marriage. Don't miss how we should respond to our spouse when tension and disagreement inevitably come.

How to resolve conflict peaceably:

I. The command – we are to deal with our mates as Christ deals with us. -Colossians 3:13-15

1. “Bear with one another” – cause of tension
2. “Forgiving one another” – hurt and/or offense
3. “Whoever has a complaint” – personalized, ongoing
4. “Just as the Lord forgave you” – required response
5. “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts” – let God be the umpire
6. “Called into one body” – priority of unity
7. “Be thankful” – focus on what we have, not what’s lacking

II. We all respond to “tension” positively or negatively.

III. How to “DIFFUSE” conflict in your marriage

D - DEFINE the problem on your own. -Proverbs 15:14 & 21:2

I - INITIATE a time to talk. -Matthew 5:23-24

F - FOCUS on the “perceived” problem, not the person. -Proverbs 18:19

F - FEEL their pain as though it were your own. -Proverbs 17:17

U - UNCOVER the root problem. -Proverbs 20:5

S - SET things right between you. -James 5:16

E - ESTABLISH a specific action plan that addresses the issue discussed; write it down. -James 1:22-25

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Mystery rides were part of growing up at our house. Usually it was a Sunday afternoon, and I'd pile our three kids into our car for a ride. I think we explored every corner of our area. And as we did, we discovered over the years, a lot of great things. But I've got one son who's a lot like me. He wants to know the plan before we leave.

"Hey, Dad, where are we going? Where are we going to eat? What are we going to eat? What are we going to do while we're there? How long will we be there? What time are we going to get home?" He would pump me with more questions; I felt like I was being interrogated by a police sergeant. Sometimes I knew it was better not to explain where we were going. I mean we've done things that would have sounded boring if I had told about them, but they turned out to be exciting and I knew they would. Plus surprises are fun anyway. So, my kids got used to hearing two words when we were about to begin a mystery trip, "Trust me." I don't think I let them down. It was good training for journeys with their other Father.

I'm Ron Hutchcraft and I want to have A Word With You today about "Going Not Knowing."

Our word for today from the Word of God comes from the life of the Apostle Paul. He's still Saul of Tarsus here. Acts 9 - he's on his way to wipe out Christians. He missed some in Jerusalem. So he said, "I'll get them in Damascus. They all went there; I'll find them in Syria." We begin in verse 3: "As he neared Damascus on his journey, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him. He fell to the ground and heard a voice say to him, 'Saul, Saul, why do you persecute Me?' 'Well, who are you, Lord?' Saul asked. 'I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting,' he replied. 'Now, get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do.'"

Now, it's interesting that Saul's training for his whole life in Christ began immediately with a mystery trip. Yeah, did you notice that? He has just opened up to Jesus, and the Lord says, "Go into the city and you will be told." "Lord, what do you want me to do there? Who am I going to meet there? How am I even going to be able to see; I'm blind right now?" The Lord says, "Go and you will be told." Well, he spent the rest of his life living like that.

In Acts 20, when he was on his way to Jerusalem as the great Apostle Paul and his friends were trying to discourage him, he said, "Compelled by the Spirit, I am going not knowing." See, you have a heavenly Father who often takes His children on mystery trips. Maybe you're on one of His mystery trips right now. There's a good destination He's got in mind, but right now He's telling you just the next step. In essence, He's saying to you as He did to Saul, "Go, and you will be told as you are on the way."

It may well be that you're in the middle of one of those times right now, and the tendency is to say, "Now, Lord, if you'll just give me all the information, give me all the facts, I'll start going that direction." And the Lord says, "No, you start moving in that direction I've told you to go, and you'll get more information as you go."

Now, maybe you're waiting to have all your questions answered before you move, and right now there are more question marks than there are periods or exclamation points for sure. Can you almost hear your Father saying as He bundles you into His car, "Trust Me, let's start traveling together."

Hey, He died for you. Is He ever going to do you wrong? God's mystery trips always lead to a destination that is selected with you in mind, for your good. So, why not settle back, enjoy the trip, and let Him drive. Trust your Father and don't be afraid of going not knowing.

Even the greatest prophet had a moment of uncertainty. But rather than condemn John, Jesus gave a response that may surprise some of us.

Notes:

Luke 7

John, in a moment of doubt, sent a message to Jesus,
“Are You the One, or should we look for another?”
  
Doubt is a sign that someone is thinking.
 
A French proverb says, “He who knows nothing doubts nothing.”
 
“Doubt is not the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith.”
 
#1 Moses was ready to quit.
 
Numbers 11:14–15
"I am not able to bear all these people alone, because the burden is too heavy for me. If You treat me like this, please kill me now."
 
#2 Elijah was ready to quit.
(1 Kings 19:4)
 
#3 Jesus rebuked His disciples for their lack of faith.
 
#4 Paul the Apostle was deeply discouraged.
(2 Corinthians 1:8)
 
#5 David wrote half the Psalms while angry, confused, or feeling abandoned by God.
 
#6 John the Baptist was discouraged and entertained doubts.
 
Read Luke 7:18–28
 
John baptized Jesus in the Jordan River.
 
John was in prison because of his bold preaching to King Herod.
 
In John’s mind, Jesus the Messiah would organize a revolt.
 
John was expecting political deliverance.
Jesus was bringing spiritual deliverance.
 
Sometimes we misunderstand God and His word.
  
Jesus understood John’s questions and his doubt.
 
Jesus answered John’s doubt with evidence and clarification, not condemnation.
 
Galatians 5:15
But if you are always biting and devouring one another,
watch out! Beware of destroying one another.
 
It is easier to critique than create.
It is easier to tear down instead of build up.
 
Jesus loves you and understands your questions, too.
 
Psalm 10:1
Why, O LORD, do you stand far away?
Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?
 
Psalm 10:16 (a)
The LORD is king forever and ever.
 
Jesus defended John publicly,
when John criticized Jesus privately.
(Luke 7:24)
 
You have immeasurable value because you are God’s creation.
(1 Peter 2:9)
 
Ephesians 2:10
For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.
 
God loves you so much that He sent His Son to die on the cross so you could have a relationship with Him.
 
Doubt is a matter of the mind.
 
Unbelief is a matter of the will.
 
John was doubting, but he still believed.
 
Jesus refocused John’s priorities.
 
John’s doubts were answered by Scripture.
(Luke 7:22)
 
Stay the course when you don’t see the plan.
(Luke 7:23)
 
Luke 7:28
I tell you, of all who have ever lived, none is greater than John. Yet even the least person in the Kingdom of God is greater than he is!
 
John was a part of the Old Testament economy.
You are a New Testament believer.
 
John was a friend of the Bridegroom.
You are the bride of the Bridegroom.

—

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Every Christian has experienced days or even seasons of feeling extreme guilt over past or present sins, thinking that God is angry or disgusted with them—sometimes even wondering if they’re truly saved. This often happens when believers fixate on their sins while forgetting what Christ has already done on their behalf at the cross. Sam Storms explains it this way: “What consumes us is what we have done by sinning. What ought to consume us is grateful meditation on what God has done with our sinning.” Join us as Dr. Storms explains what God has done and will never do with our sin.

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This week, on In The Market with Janet Parshall, we spoke to the Vice President of Defending Education, Sarah Parshall Perry, who updated us on several legal challenges to parents’ rights across the country. Matt Rhodes shared how missionaries need to know the theology of suffering. David Robertson addressed the growing spread of Islam in the U.K., and in the U.S.  Pastor Emeritus of the Moody Church,  Dr. Erwin Lutzer, told us why God sometimes doesn’t answer our prayers - for a reason. Today, Craig and Janet will take a look at several stories making headlines and teach us how to apply God’s word to the world around us. 

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What happens when God asks you to give up the very thing you expect Him to provide? Pastor Jonathan Evans reveals how faith is proven when obedience costs us most—and why trusting God’s provision, even without complete understanding, can change everything.